Things that make you laugh

[Baron Greenback]

The South Australian Redbacks are always good for a laugh...

More of a cry actually

Not for me...don't go for them! But would rather they win than New South Wales, Queensland or Western Australia.

[smac]

Leaving for work this morning at 5:45 (that's not the funny bit), I was taking my pushbike off the hook it lives on overnight which is next to the littlest smacs bedroom window.

Usually I am quiet as a mouse and mrs smac gets a good sleep in as no noise means no wake up for the littlest smac.

This morning, smac jr's scooter was under my bike (I couldn't see it as my eyes were barely opened for the day) so I walked into it, starting cursing and then it crashed into the wall.

I quickly grabbed my bike and headed off to worked with sounds of the littlest smac awakening from her slumber...

By the time I arrived at work there was a lovely text message on my phone from mrs smac, professing how much she appreciated my efforts!

[Dogwatcher]

It's love!

[tigersupporter]

True storey. A mate of mine was at trash and treasure at gepps cross a while back and had his father in laws 1981 gold commodore. He found a set of golf clubs in a reasonable bag and got them at a bargain for $15.00. He took them back to the car so he didnt have to carry them around and put them in the boot. He noticed a LPG tank in the boot and said to himself that he didnt realize the car was on gas. Later when it was time to go home, he couldnt find the car, but then saw it a couple of rows away. When he got home he went to the boot to get his new bargain buy but when he opened it, they were gone......and so was the LPG tank.....Yep he found another car exactly the same and his key fit the boot lock...Apparently the police had a field day with him when he went and reported what had happened......Makes me smile every time i think of that storey

But what do you think the owner of the other car thought when they opened their boot.

[RustyCage]

Leaving for work this morning at 5:45 (that's not the funny bit), I was taking my pushbike off the hook it lives on overnight which is next to the littlest smacs bedroom window.

Usually I am quiet as a mouse and mrs smac gets a good sleep in as no noise means no wake up for the littlest smac.

This morning, smac jr's scooter was under my bike (I couldn't see it as my eyes were barely opened for the day) so I walked into it, starting cursing and then it crashed into the wall.

I quickly grabbed my bike and headed off to worked with sounds of the littlest smac awakening from her slumber...

By the time I arrived at work there was a lovely text message on my phone from mrs smac, professing how much she appreciated my efforts!

Tell her that if she appreciated your efforts that much, you will do it again next week!!!

[johntheclaret]

Local News Story, I read tonight.

A homless drug addict was so desperate to get himself arrested, he burgled a local soccer club clubhouse. He then rang the police to tell them he had done it (expecting to get arrested).
The local boys in blue told him that they didn't have a car available so couldn't come and get him.
He got a bit frustrated on the phone and started effing and blinding, to which they warned him if he didn't curb his language they would arrest him.

Now this is funny in itself, but it didn't ned there.

Frustrated that the old bill didn't come to arrest him, after waiting half an hour (oh and by the way the burglar alarm went of sending a signal to the police station), he went and burgled the local Conservative Club, and then had to wait 2 1/2 hours for the police to turn up and arrest him.

There's more

Court verdict, he pleaded guilty, hoping to get a custodial sentence, but instead (b ecause he had co-operated with the police), he got a suspended sentence instead.

And the local police are holding an investigation, after saying in court, "he only had to wait 2 1/2 hours, and it was a busy night.

[GWW]

Those morons who attempted an armed robbery at a Bar in Sydney, but they didn't realise there were bikies in the next room the crooks then took off with 50 bikies chasing them holding chairs to bash them with, one ran through glass and injured himself. Hehe crooks arrested and injured, how good is that

[RustyCage]

Those morons who attempted an armed robbery at a Bar in Sydney, but they didn't realise there were bikies in the next room the crooks then took off with 50 bikies chasing them holding chairs to bash them with, one ran through glass and injured himself. Hehe crooks arrested and injured, how good is that

Thats gold

[JAS]

Those morons who attempted an armed robbery at a Bar in Sydney, but they didn't realise there were bikies in the next room the crooks then took off with 50 bikies chasing them holding chairs to bash them with, one ran through glass and injured himself. Hehe crooks arrested and injured, how good is that

Thats gold

ditto

Even made our news
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-p ... 268653.stm

Regards
JAS

[johntheclaret]

Another true story from tonights local rag.
Young fraudster up before the bench at the local magistrates pleads guilty to a string of deception and minor fraud charges and is told it is likely he will be given a custodial sentence, but before the sentence is given, he asks if it is okay to go oout and get some lunch as he is hungry.

Unbelievably, the magistrates agree and tell him he must come back to be sentenced after his lunch break.

Guess what happened next, or rather what didn't happen next The police have issued a warrant for his arrest after he failed to return to the courts

[johntheclaret]

Here's a good one from Barrie Robran's column
http://www.nafc.com.au/barriescorner/p889.aspx

[Dogwatcher]

I had a huge laugh today when I rang an Australian rock legend - in one of the songs he sings about being a bad boy - to interview him and he says "oh mate, they've stuffed up the times, can you give me 20 minutes, I've got to drop my kids' lunches off at school"!

I don't think it was a euphemism for anything either!

[bulldogproud]

Would that rocker be appearing at Clare this Sunday, DW? Will be heading there - incredible line up: Choirboys, Mental as Anything, Brian Cadd, Russell Morris, John Swan.
Cheers

[Dogwatcher]

No he will not be appearing at Clare.
Will be at Loxton.

It was a fascinating interview in the end. Very good man to chat to.
Was doing his housework throughout though.

[bulldogproud]

So he is a refined gent, rather than an 'Angry' man, DW?

[Dogwatcher]

You got it.

[CENTURION]

I was at The Lion in North Adelaide one evening with a friend & he was as pissed as a parrot & swaying all over the place. A bouncer walked up to him & said something like "in the best interests of both yourself & the patrons, we request that you leave the premises immediately." Well, I had a quick chat with the bouncer & told him "He's not pissed, he has Parkinson's Disease." The bouncer then walked up to my friend & promptly apologised! Bloody hard trying not to laugh!

[RustyCage]

The wording of todays product on Zazz.com.au

Colourful Snake USB Hub
4 ports!



Don't be ashamed. you're not the only one. Millions of Australians go for style over substance every day! How else can you explain the popularity of Today Tonight, Kia and 20/20 Cricket? It's just human nature. Sometimes however the stars align, the gods smile and something with both beauty and quality rises up to become a sparkling success. Exhibit A: The Sydney Opera House. Exhibit B: The enigmatic ZTM.

Exhibit C: Today's Zazz. The very stylish, but oh so substantial, Snake Coloured USB Hub.... Hmmm, that's a little misleading really. It's not snake-coloured at all. Rather it's a snake-like, coloured USB hub. Or a coloured, snakey USB hub. Hell, call it what you want! I call it freakin' hot!

Nobody likes a boring old grey plastic hub lying around on their desk taking up valuable space and giving back nothing in the looks department. That's just depressing. This purdy little fella on the other hand will bring sunshine and laughter to even the most dour of work stations. Studies have shown after all that a splash of colour improves productivity, sperm count and bad breath by 18.9%!

Do you really think Trump doesn't have one of these to power all his favourite USB devices? Course he does. The man's rolling in style. Granted his is probably more platinum than plastic, and painted in the blood of virginal sea monkeys, but you can bet your sweet bippy he's into desktop enhancement just as much as us plebs!

By the way, this hub's not all just sex appeal. He's also damned functional. His four extra USB ports will have any USB gadget geek agog! And you can spread him out flat or fold him up neatly to maximise desk area. He's no space hog (I'm looking at you external harddrive). For less than $15 bucks delivered, well... need I say more. All that style, all that substance for the price of a steak sandwich! Noice!

Grab yours today - they won't be here tomorrow!

[smac]

Yes, I am yet to have the stars align, where Zazz sell something on a day when I need one, but I read all of the product descriptions for a laugh.

[Wedgie]

lmao, that product description is GOLD, whoever wrote it should get a job with Petermans in Seinfeld!