Things that make you laugh

[johntheclaret]

I thought I would start a topic for those everyday thing that happen, that just make you laugh. I'm not talking about jokes and the like. but just those oddities that you see, hear or read about, concerning everyday life, that are....well....funny.

I'll start if off with three things that happened today.

I was watching TV and there was a trailer for a documentry. The programme was about a British beef farm that bred cattle and processed the meat for the organic food market, and the commentator said the story was "from the cradle to the gravey".

In the local rag tonight, the front page story was about an old guy who was arrested because he was driving his disabled scooter whilst being four times over the limit. The story went to say that he would have been ok if he had kept on the pavement, but when he went on the road to avoid an obstruction and was booked. To top it off, the guy, who can't walk at all received a ban for 3 years from driving a car, even though he hasn't been physically able to drive since 1997. The magistrate said he was banning the old guy from driving a car, because he couldn't ban him from driving a disabled scooter.

Finally, I got a pair of the Homer Simpson slippers for my birthday a month ago, and only found out tonight that if you press on Homers face on one of them, a homer voice says "more beer". Now that in itself is not too funny, but we were all sat having dinner tonight when we started hearing this vioce, "more beer", there it was again, "more beer". Bearing in mind at this point none of us knew it was my slippers. Two of my sons checked their mobile phones.

Anyone else got a funny, everyday story?

[Dirko]

Had a laugh at the news last night when 2 old dudes in the US of A, can't remember the state, found their old friend dead. They plonked him in a wheelchair and did a "Weekend at Bernie's" and tried to cash his welfare check !!
They interviewed the teller, who came from the south of the border, and his quote was something along the lines of " Yeah man, he's head was back a bit and he just looked dead bro! LMAO !
I found it quite amusing !

[smac]

Had a laugh at the news last night when 2 old dudes in the US of A, can't remember the state, found their old friend dead. They plonked him in a wheelchair and did a "Weekend at Bernie's" and tried to cash his welfare check !!
They interviewed the teller, who came from the south of the border, and his quote was something along the lines of " Yeah man, he's head was back a bit and he just looked dead bro! LMAO !
I found it quite amusing !

They picked a nice quiet spot to wheel him through.. Manhatten

[Lunchcutter]

re-watching series 1 of My Name is Earl - absolute classic!

[rod_rooster]

Had a laugh at the news last night when 2 old dudes in the US of A, can't remember the state, found their old friend dead. They plonked him in a wheelchair and did a "Weekend at Bernie's" and tried to cash his welfare check !!
They interviewed the teller, who came from the south of the border, and his quote was something along the lines of " Yeah man, he's head was back a bit and he just looked dead bro! LMAO !
I found it quite amusing !

They picked a nice quiet spot to wheel him through.. Manhatten

LMAO. That was one of the funniest stories i've seen in a long time. I've always joked about doing a Weekend at Bernie's style fraud but i didn't seriously think anyone one try it

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23027584-401,00.html

[locky801]

Following on from JTC's story, what about the bloke in the NT who rode his horse everyday to the pub, tied it up outside, went in had a sherbet or 20, hopped back on and rode home. Anyway the local coppers got wind of it and ended up trying to pull him over shortly after leaving the pub. Took quite a few km's before the horse was worn out and the guy blew 5 times over the limit, was going to get sent to jail but appealed the verdict saying that a horse is not a vehicle. Never did find out the end result but how hilarious coppers chasing a horse (and not on Hanson Road for a change )

[Wedgie]

Reminds me of a bloke named Jeff who used to ride his bike to the Maylands Hotel and get pissed. One day riding his bike home from the pub he rode straight into a Police Woman manning a radar and sent everything flying. Luckily she thought it was hillarious but I think he lost his bike.

[locky801]

Reminds me of a bloke named Jeff who used to ride his bike to the Maylands Hotel and get pissed. One day riding his bike home from the pub he rode straight into a Police Woman manning a radar and sent everything flying. Luckily she thought it was hillarious but I think he lost his bike.

Actually if it is the one I am thinking of, he actually had to pay quite a bit of money for wrecking the radar which in those days used to sit on a stand, know there were a few instances like that but I think it was the guy from the Maylands that ended up well out of pocket

[smac]

A pissed bloke fell into the side of a truck out the front of our place before Christmas, cops thought it was hilarious (they turned up with the ambulance that was called for the cyclist - then it was realised he was pissed, not dazed).

[Wedgie]

Reminds me of a bloke named Jeff who used to ride his bike to the Maylands Hotel and get pissed. One day riding his bike home from the pub he rode straight into a Police Woman manning a radar and sent everything flying. Luckily she thought it was hillarious but I think he lost his bike.

Actually if it is the one I am thinking of, he actually had to pay quite a bit of money for wrecking the radar which in those days used to sit on a stand, know there were a few instances like that but I think it was the guy from the Maylands that ended up well out of pocket

Ahh OK, was a while ago, would have been about 1987 IIRC.

[JAS]

Not especially exciting and I don't think the kid was harmed but it did make me laugh.

Walking back from the supermarket yesterday there was a couple walking towards me with a little 'vision in pink' (no more than 2yo) riding on one of those tricycles with the long handle on the back for the parents to keep control. The couple were walking at a fair old pace and the poor kid was sitting there, the pedals taking her little legs round like the clappers, sucking on her dummy like Maggie Simpson and staring with wide-eyed horror as the world raced towards her out of control at what must have seemed like about Mach2 from her perspective. It was just one of those moments you wish you had a camera cos the look on her little face was a picture.

Parents please try to think about what the world must look like when you're only knee high

...and then there was this little gem

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees.

Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.

"I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming," the husband told the newspaper on Wednesday.

The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported.

(Writing by Chris Borowski, Editing by Matthew Jones)

Regards
JAS

[rod_rooster]

...and then there was this little gem

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees.

Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.

"I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming," the husband told the newspaper on Wednesday.

The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported.

(Writing by Chris Borowski, Editing by Matthew Jones)

Regards
JAS

ROFLMAO

[locky801]

well she was earning a little extra money on the side, or her back or cowgirl or whatever, wasn't actually lying

[JAS]

I imagine the brothel owner loved the arrangement. Paying her to work there, then taking the money back from the husband when he turns up as a customer. Could mean that she was in fact working for nothing.

Regards
JAS

[Squawk]

I was talking to a colleague recently who was a policewoman for 20 odd years. I asked her what was the funniest thing that had ever happened whilst she was in the job. She told this story of a time when she was on patrols and had to chase an offender over a few backyard fences until eventually she apprehended him. She began reciting his rights and got to the part where she said "anything you say can and will be taken down...." at which time the offender interupted and said "Pants!". Somehow, she said she managed to maintain focus.

[Blue Boy]

Strange names !!!

[bulldogproud]

Blue Boy, on that note I studied Accountancy at Uni with a guy named Hoo Yu Phuc. We nicknamed him 'not fussy'.
Cheers

[Baron Greenback]

The South Australian Redbacks are always good for a laugh...

[MagicKiwi]

Mr MK - he is a funny man.

[GWW]

The South Australian Redbacks are always good for a laugh...

More of a cry actually