we better not make the players depressed

[Strawb]

I was just reading this on the Herald Sun website
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/sport/ ... 42,00.html

Players, families caught in vicious web

Mark Robinson | May 22, 2008 12:00am

THE mother of an AFL player with depression last night lashed out at the viciousness of internet fan forums.

"Donna", the mum of a player at a Melbourne-based club, believes the forums contribute to her son's depression.

The effect on the player was extreme, she said, and the effect on the parents "cuts straight to the core".

"There's nothing you can do about it," Donna said.

"It's painful for everyone.

"He goes through periods where he has highs and lows and when he gets slandered on this website, they use his full name and it's obviously brutal.

"It certainly contributes to him having a real low that week.

"Then he starts to feel: 'Am I good enough to be here, what do I have to do, I'm trying my guts out, everyone thinks I'm hopeless, I won't be selected'.

"As a parent your heart goes out to your own child, as it does to the other players slandered, and you just feel so futile. You can't do anything.

"It doesn't matter how much you say and try to support them and encourage them, and say: 'Don't read them', there's just nothing you can do."

The AFL Players' Association yesterday in the Herald Sun said blogging by supporters was "cyber bullying".

Clubs also feared the vicious appraisals of their players could lead to forms of depression.

Several clubs revealed they had warned some of their players to boycott the websites.

Player managers also confirmed yesterday their players had struggled to deal with the attacks.

Donna said last night her son's club and coach were aware of her son's depression and that he was the subject of vitriol on websites.

"It's fine for people to say 'harden up', or 'toughen up', but at the end of the day they are still very vulnerable kids trying to learn how to play footy at an elite level," she said.

"They are going to make mistakes and they don't need misinformed, anonymous 'supporters' (to) slander them when half the time the supporters that write about them haven't been to the game, and they don't know the instructions that have been given to these players.

"Yet, they (hide) behind their anonymity and make out they are bigger than Ben Hur, and think they can say whatever they like.

"That's the frustrating and hurtful part of it.

"And these kids, be they 18, 19, 21 or 22, don't have a leg to stand on.

"Some players can do no wrong and escape everything, which is fantastic for them and that's the way it should be, but for others, they just hone in on them.

"Then it just seems to be a never-ending bandwagon."

Donna said she knew of parents who joined blogs to dispute and object to comments made about their sons.

She said she had, as recently as the weekend, spoken to parents of other players about the websites.

Most disturbing, according to the AFLPA's Pippa Grange, was that player identities were being taken and comments being posted under that player's name.

"They get obviously quite upset about that," Grange said.

ANYONE with personal problems can call Lifeline on 131 114; Victorian Statewide Suicide Helpline on 1300 651 251; or Mensline Australia on 1300 789 978.

[evans01]

sadly its a fact of life.................coz players are in the public eye u have to expect that sometimes the feedback isnt wot u want to hear.........i admit she does have a point but you have to try and learn to deal with it..........

[smac]

First thing the player should be told is stay off the forums if you don't want to read criticisms.

It is a very fragile age and the clubs should take the lead in helping players cope.

[Psyber]

First thing the player should be told is stay off the forums if you don't want to read criticisms.
It is a very fragile age and the clubs should take the lead in helping players cope.

Yes, fora like this tend to encourage developing a thick skin, and if you are frail you don't log in. You can't be in the public eye and not be up for the praise and the flack. The same goes for politicians.

[MW]

whos the player?

[Dirko]

whos the player?

After last week's game wouldn't be surprised if it was....

Edited for CP

[JK]

Don't think any names should be dropped on here lads.

[MW]

someone drop me a PM with the name then

[hearts on fire]

Yes, can someone please pm me the name aswell?

Cheers.

[spell_check]

I have thought about that, how a player would feel if he happened to read a site (this one included). I would have thought that the best thing to do was not to read them at all. Some of the players that are the subject of the article I'd imagine know what fan forums were like before being drafted.

[Squawk]

I dont think it really matters who the player is - what is that gonna change if you know his name?

[am Bays]

I think there are some salient lessons in that article just because we are anonymous behind a keyboard doesn't give us cart blanche to go around assinating the character of individuals that we: deep down know nothing about, aren't aware of what instructons they are playing too, what injuries they may be carrying or what (if any) personal issues my be affecting their lives to make them play like they do?

Just one of the reasons I don't post on Big Footy as it is too over the top for my liking.

[Mr66]

I think clubs (Rich,Bulldogs and especially STK) have caused more misery,embarrasment
and depression amongst their supporters than the other way around.
Poor babies.
As other posts have said in one way or another,'If can't stand the heat....

[Hondo]

I agree with Tassie. Some of the stuff that gets written behind anonymous nick-names on forums is very ordinary, often unfounded and un-informed. Put yourselves in the parent's position those of you with kids. Just because someone has a public profile doesn't make it justified to defame them. It's like abusing someone while you hide behind a bush with a fake mostauche and 70's sunnies on. Or hitting someone and running.

This site is pretty good, Big-Footy is often a disgrace.

My hit prediction is that there will eventually be defamation cases against forum-site administrators and, after that, we'll all end up having to reveal our real name and address each time we post. Or all posts will have to be vetted by moderators before they appear live. Same as is done on the Newspaper sites.

[MW]

I dont think it really matters who the player is - what is that gonna change if you know his name?

No difference, just curious.

[FlyingHigh]

Could it be that up until they get to the AFL they are used to the praise of being the stars of their team, and are now finding it tough in the "big league".

BTW happens from time to time in all footy grades, plenty of examples in local A-grade clubs where lads with talent don't kick on.

[Sojourner]

Good reason if you are a player to simply skip the negative news sources, giving up watching the news or getting the paper isnt all that difficult!