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[locky801]

Another week for all the gronks around Australia

SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 23/11/25
1. Shepparton, VIC - Deadshit steals car with baby in it after it was left there by its shit mum
2. Townsville, QLD - Grub wanks in shop for more than 3 hours, continues after being arrested
3. Brisbane, QLD - **** accused of racist attacks on Asians calls magistrate a c-nt and claims to be US President in court
4. Bankstown, NSW - Drongo sets himself on fire while firebombing cars
5. Alice Springs, NT - Feral kids pelt The Ghan train with rocks, smashing 20 windows; gronk arrested after allegedly chasing people down street with knife
6. Logan, QLD - Grub writes all over multiple cars with poo
7. Melbourne, VIC - Free concert cancelled after crowd smashes through barriers; business owner filming marketing video accidentally captures grub taking a shit next to his car
8. Adelaide, SA - Gronk climbs crane and walks out on to its arm; woman spends $50k fighting $100 ‘double parking’ fine that she got for being stuck in traffic, resident makes 133-hour phone call
9. Batemans Bay, NSW - Gronks allegedly steal cash machine from country club after setting fire to KFC to distract emergency services
10. Bindoon, WA - Alleged armed carjacker and sex pest taken down by middle-aged dad in Spongebob undies

[locky801]

For this weeks fantastic edition

SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 30/11/25
1. Brisbane, QLD - Piece of shit allegedly leaves his dog to die inside car that he dumps and falsely reports stolen while he goes to brothel; mad fan rips out handful of Lenny Kravitz’s dreadlocks
2. Perth, WA - Gronkess fined $2k for trying to hide bag of meth in miniature dachshund’s arsehole; gronk tasered after running on house roofs, trying to steal police car, stealing police hat and threatening cops with syringe; councillor charges ratepayers for drink in strip club
3. Alice Springs, NT - 12-year-old charged after allegedly robbing servo at knifepoint
4. Melbourne, VIC - Convicted murderer sues for right to eat Vegemite in prison; brick bandits nick $30k worth of merch from Lego store
5. Kalgoorlie-Boulder, WA - Residents launch petition to move wastewater treatment plant that makes whole city smell like shit
6. Port Lincoln, SA - Gronk allegedly steals road grader and crashes it into car
7. Mildura, VIC - Aggro motorcyclist smashes car’s mirror, climbs on bonnet and holds on until driver drops him at police station; bloke manages to rack up $107,000 in fines
8. Adelaide, SA - Drongo duo arrested after flagging down cops while on bail and in possession of weapons, graffiti gear, ice pipe and stolen scooter
9. Beaconsfield, TAS - 3m gorilla statue stolen from roof of house
10. Pakenham, VIC - Pair of loose bulls smash car and smear shit on it while being chased through suburban streets by police car, two people on horses and shirtless man

[dedja]

Pirie?

[locky801]

Pirie?

Still Sh?t evidently

[Kahuna]

Pirie?

Can't guess that one dedja?

[dedja]

Pirie?

Can't guess that one dedja?

There are no dumb questions.

[Kahuna]

A drunk wanders in to a church, enters a confessional booth but says nothing. The preist coughs to get his attention but the man remains silent. The preist knocks half a dozen times on the partition. Drunk finally responds "give it up mate, no paper in this one either".