You'd have wanking down to a fine art at least.tipper wrote:missing two weekends in a row firstly being a household contact for covid, and then having covid myself, only for my first day "out" being a monday and being at work...
this is bullshit
Things that give you the sh1ts
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
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- locky801
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
third week out of four driving to broken hill for work, then same again next week 
Life is about moments, Create them
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
Go to Perth they said. It'll be fun they said.
Nobody said I'd bring a head full of COVID back with me! What a shit night that was.
Nobody said I'd bring a head full of COVID back with me! What a shit night that was.
If you want to go quickly, go alone.
If you want to go far, go together.
If you want to go far, go together.
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MW
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
2nd time with the vid?Booney wrote:Go to Perth they said. It'll be fun they said.
Nobody said I'd bring a head full of COVID back with me! What a shit night that was.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
Nup, first. Other iso was under close contact rules.
Do not recommend. 0/10.
Do not recommend. 0/10.
If you want to go quickly, go alone.
If you want to go far, go together.
If you want to go far, go together.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
Well there's a first time for everything and unfortunately I got caught out for something I never thought could happen to me.
I noticed my usual dump station had a "do not use" sign on it so I went to the other one, to my horror once I finished the transaction I discovered that it was out of paper.
The cleaner has copped an absolute bollocking on their sheet for them to peruse when they arrive this afternoon, they are industrial sized rolls that last weeks, when they're down under 10% they are meant to remove them from the dispenser and replace them leaving the butt roll to be used manually. Too bad if I was a visitor.
I noticed my usual dump station had a "do not use" sign on it so I went to the other one, to my horror once I finished the transaction I discovered that it was out of paper.
The cleaner has copped an absolute bollocking on their sheet for them to peruse when they arrive this afternoon, they are industrial sized rolls that last weeks, when they're down under 10% they are meant to remove them from the dispenser and replace them leaving the butt roll to be used manually. Too bad if I was a visitor.
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- heater31
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
That one time you don't check supply before getting down to business.....Lightning McQueen wrote:Well there's a first time for everything and unfortunately I got caught out for something I never thought could happen to me.
I noticed my usual dump station had a "do not use" sign on it so I went to the other one, to my horror once I finished the transaction I discovered that it was out of paper.
The cleaner has copped an absolute bollocking on their sheet for them to peruse when they arrive this afternoon, they are industrial sized rolls that last weeks, when they're down under 10% they are meant to remove them from the dispenser and replace them leaving the butt roll to be used manually. Too bad if I was a visitor.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
I'm usually very anal.heater31 wrote:That one time you don't check supply before getting down to business.....Lightning McQueen wrote:Well there's a first time for everything and unfortunately I got caught out for something I never thought could happen to me.
I noticed my usual dump station had a "do not use" sign on it so I went to the other one, to my horror once I finished the transaction I discovered that it was out of paper.
The cleaner has copped an absolute bollocking on their sheet for them to peruse when they arrive this afternoon, they are industrial sized rolls that last weeks, when they're down under 10% they are meant to remove them from the dispenser and replace them leaving the butt roll to be used manually. Too bad if I was a visitor.
I remember getting teased by my ex-wife the first time she came to my place as she thought I had an unusually high amount of back up rolls in my toilet along with a current 48 pack and a full one too, at all times. One week later her son got caught short and they needed an emergency trip to Coles for reinforcements, I was smiling like a chesire cat.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
You can never have too many.Lightning McQueen wrote:I remember getting teased by my ex-wife the first time she came to my place as she thought I had an unusually high amount of back up rolls in my toilet along with a current 48 pack and a full one too, at all times.
R.I.P. the SANFL 1877 - 2013
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
Going to be a long week, I'm watching hot dog eating competitions on day 1.
If you want to go quickly, go alone.
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If you want to go far, go together.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
I got caught badly in a restaurant in ShanghaiLightning McQueen wrote:Well there's a first time for everything and unfortunately I got caught out for something I never thought could happen to me.
I noticed my usual dump station had a "do not use" sign on it so I went to the other one, to my horror once I finished the transaction I discovered that it was out of paper.
The cleaner has copped an absolute bollocking on their sheet for them to peruse when they arrive this afternoon, they are industrial sized rolls that last weeks, when they're down under 10% they are meant to remove them from the dispenser and replace them leaving the butt roll to be used manually. Too bad if I was a visitor.
I didn't have time to check (if you know what I mean)
Lucky I was wearing boxer shorts not my usual G banger
dedja: Dunno, I’m just an idiot.
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Spargo
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
I learnt a long time ago to always carry a roll in your golf bag.Jimmy_041 wrote:I got caught badly in a restaurant in ShanghaiLightning McQueen wrote:Well there's a first time for everything and unfortunately I got caught out for something I never thought could happen to me.
I noticed my usual dump station had a "do not use" sign on it so I went to the other one, to my horror once I finished the transaction I discovered that it was out of paper.
The cleaner has copped an absolute bollocking on their sheet for them to peruse when they arrive this afternoon, they are industrial sized rolls that last weeks, when they're down under 10% they are meant to remove them from the dispenser and replace them leaving the butt roll to be used manually. Too bad if I was a visitor.
I didn't have time to check (if you know what I mean)
Lucky I was wearing boxer shorts not my usual G banger
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Time to get moving…
2024 champ, Spargo’s Good Friday Cup @ Ascot
Time to get moving…
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
Car boot, golf bag, boat.Spargo wrote:I learnt a long time ago to always carry a roll in your golf bag.Jimmy_041 wrote:I got caught badly in a restaurant in ShanghaiLightning McQueen wrote:Well there's a first time for everything and unfortunately I got caught out for something I never thought could happen to me.
I noticed my usual dump station had a "do not use" sign on it so I went to the other one, to my horror once I finished the transaction I discovered that it was out of paper.
The cleaner has copped an absolute bollocking on their sheet for them to peruse when they arrive this afternoon, they are industrial sized rolls that last weeks, when they're down under 10% they are meant to remove them from the dispenser and replace them leaving the butt roll to be used manually. Too bad if I was a visitor.
I didn't have time to check (if you know what I mean)
Lucky I was wearing boxer shorts not my usual G banger
If you want to go quickly, go alone.
If you want to go far, go together.
If you want to go far, go together.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
A mate of mine was on a tour at a buddhist temple in Thailand when he got the urge. The toilet at the temple was a simple hole in the ground, no water, no paper. The only thing in the toilet besides the hole was a statue of the Buddha.
So he wiped his arse on that.
So he wiped his arse on that.
Clowns OUT. Smears OUT. RESIST THE OCCUPATION.
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Vamos
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
Lightning McQueen wrote:Well there's a first time for everything and unfortunately I got caught out for something I never thought could happen to me.
I noticed my usual dump station had a "do not use" sign on it so I went to the other one, to my horror once I finished the transaction I discovered that it was out of paper.
The cleaner has copped an absolute bollocking on their sheet for them to peruse when they arrive this afternoon, they are industrial sized rolls that last weeks, when they're down under 10% they are meant to remove them from the dispenser and replace them leaving the butt roll to be used manually. Too bad if I was a visitor.
Whoops, there goes another year. Whoops, there goes another pint of beer.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
I was sitting on a “long drop” one time doing the business & a bloke sat down next to me. Pulled down his strides & a 50 cent piece fell out of his pocket into the pit below. With that he pulled out his wallet, took out a $100 note & dropped it down.Pseudo wrote:A mate of mine was on a tour at a buddhist temple in Thailand when he got the urge. The toilet at the temple was a simple hole in the ground, no water, no paper. The only thing in the toilet besides the hole was a statue of the Buddha.
So he wiped his arse on that.
“What the hell did you do that for?” I asked
“I wasn’t going down there just for 50 cents…” he replied
Last edited by Spargo on Wed Jul 06, 2022 7:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Time to get moving…
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
Pseudo wrote:A mate of mine was on a tour at a buddhist temple in Thailand when he got the urge. The toilet at the temple was a simple hole in the ground, no water, no paper. The only thing in the toilet besides the hole was a statue of the Buddha.
So he wiped his arse on that.
Well Doctor, after I had a poo there was no paper so I was wiping the bot on a statue of Buddha and next thing it was right up there.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
July 11th 2012....
2024 Melbourne Cup Punting Challenge winner knocking off the Pirate King!
Brodlach wrote:Rory Laird might end up the best IMO, he is an absolute jet. He has been in great form at the Bloods
2024 Melbourne Cup Punting Challenge winner knocking off the Pirate King!
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
Pseudo wrote:A mate of mine was on a tour at a buddhist temple in Thailand when he got the urge. The toilet at the temple was a simple hole in the ground, no water, no paper. The only thing in the toilet besides the hole was a statue of the Buddha.
So he wiped his arse on that.
Whoops, there goes another year. Whoops, there goes another pint of beer.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts
Spargo wrote:I was sitting on a “long drop” one time doing the business & a bloke sat down next to me. Pulled down his strides & a 50 cent piece fell out of his pocket into the pit below. With that he pulled out his wallet, took out a $100 note & dropped it down.Pseudo wrote:A mate of mine was on a tour at a buddhist temple in Thailand when he got the urge. The toilet at the temple was a simple hole in the ground, no water, no paper. The only thing in the toilet besides the hole was a statue of the Buddha.
So he wiped his arse on that.
“What the hell did you do that for?” I asked
“I wasn’t going down there just for 50 cents…” he replied
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