by gadj1976 » Wed Jul 09, 2014 8:54 pm
Dear Mick (Malthouse) Pt 2
Mick, you might remember my open letter last week in which I mentioned I was off to the Cryo clinic to get snap frozen in hope that when I return we won't be as sh1t as we are now.
Turns out, my Cryo doctor, Dr Freeze is a GWS supporter and wants me to suffer some more, so he's put the appointment off till the end of the footy season. Cold hearted prick.
So I sat through the game last night.
Oh, by the way, last week, when we're only a few points down vs GWS, Menzel kicked a goal and ran straight to the boundary. Um, why? Did the poor petal need a rest with 44 seconds to go and just a handful of points down? That extra rest did wonders last night - he rested most of the night!
Now, back to last night's game. I am going to ask for something radical and have an extra night's training - just this week though. That will make 3 night's training this week, Tuesday, Wednesday AND Thursday. And what I suggest you do is concentrate on showing blokes how to kick for goal. You might want to dedicate one of your 26 assistant coaches to Levi Casboult and Lachie Henderson specifically. You do realise that goals are reasonably important when we're continually losing by a few points? I went through a routine in 5 minutes in Div 5 and fixed a bloke's kicking. It's not rocket surgery. And good to see that despite having goal scoring options, we had Waite and Garlett in the magoos going naff all. Their confidence must be sky rocketing.... along with Lucas, Arnfield, Duigan (ret), Laidler (Syd) and a plethora of blokes seeking an 'out' from Lygon St.
You might also want to tell Warnock (yeh, the big tall dufus in the middle) that there is more to footy than being 8 ft 3 and getting a few taps. Did you hear the faithful (all 11 of them) give the big tall streak of blue a bronx cheer when he took a mark (by the way I've framed the photo, as it will be Warnock's only mark of the year)? IT'S COS HE'S NO GOOD! He takes no marks, he doesn't go forward and kick goals and he got beaten by ANOTHER spud in Witts.
Outside of the game, it's been interesting reading the press this week. You don't like footy. That's heartening to hear.
Yarran and Gibbs both say that we've got the cattle to win a premiership. So why are we losing to spud teams... the coaching perhaps? Might be cos you don't like the game any more. Robbo suggest you might go. I don't think so, I think we're just warming up now. I mean, our game this week is against the Saints. We can make it the perfect storm this week. Saint Kilda are the only side in the bottom 6 we haven't lost to. Come on, I know we can do it! I've got a PO Box ready for the delivery of wooden spoons from my mates.
On a more personal note, you must be happy. If it weren't for Brad Scott, you'd be the most reviled coach in AFL.
No doubt you'll be hearing from me next week!
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Dear Mick pt 3
So at least we have one thing going for us now – clear communication lines. You’ve obviously taken my comments on board and taught our forwards where to lead and how to kick for goals. That’s very good progress. Mind you, we were playing the Saints, which is the equivalent of playing the Port Pirie Sandbaggers’ III’s really isn’t it? You wouldn’t have to plan much against them would you? Maybe, run around the back of Riewoldt and let their midfield kick it over his head? Crikey, it'd be like playing in our forward line! So to only be 3 goals up at half time shows how much credence we paid to them. And winning by 85 points was good to see. Imagine how much we would’ve won by if we could kick and handball to each other consistently. I see that our recruits, Everitt and Docherty were good. How much longer before we bring them down to our level? But on a good note, we haven’t kicked that straight since the glory days of “PM” (pre Malthouse).
You’ve had another good week off the field too I see.
I noted in the press, you were ghost writing for Jon Pierik in the Age. In an article about Carlton he wrote in part “In Carlton's favour, Malthouse knows how to rebuild teams, and the drafting last year of midfielder Patrick Cripps (returning soon from a broken leg) and trades for Sam Docherty, Andrejs Everitt and Thomas have been a success, although Thomas' price tag was questionable.” I think you/he underestimates what a ‘success’ is. In my mind a bloke getting paid a motza who is struggling to kick over a jamtin with anything that resembles the technique of a drop punt shouldn’t be classed as a success! Even in his sh1t games over the past four years for Collingwood, he’s averaging more possessions than he is now. You’d think someone in their right mind, before recruiting anyone wouldn’t just roll his ankle around and say “does this hurt?” they’d get him out on the track 20m out from goal and see how many he could shank off his shin BEFORE recruiting him at 700k per season. I mean a pass mark for 700k per year would be what, 8 out of 10 shanks? Clearly he’s passing that mark in games. And then Jon/you say “although Thomas’ price tag is questionable”. Questionable? Jon/Mick, come on. You can’t possibly put a price on quality like that.
Now I take you back to last year when you said in your post season summary – which all us Carlton fans clung to after a reasonable 2013, that in the draft… “we need players who can attract the ball”. Rigghhhtt, so when does this take place this player recruitment you speak of?
Anyway, good to see Visy Park being essentially utilised for what it is; a recycling centre.
With that in mind, and your penchant for broken Collingwood players, I hear on the grapevine that Nathan Brown is out for the season. Given that knowledge, he must be on your radar. You should be able to get him for a steal – maybe 5, 600k! He has a shoulder injury and won’t be able to mark or punch a ball above shoulder level, so he’ll pass the fitness tests with flying colours.
On a personal note, I thought the judges for Mark of the Year were a bit harsh. I saw no nomination for Robbie Warnock who I saw with my own very eyes take mark of the year. Well it was uncontested and he was standing flat footed 20m out from goal all by himself, but for Warnock, that’s brilliant! And unbelievably he snuck it through from a tough angle straight out in front of goals. Just to make you aware, because I know you don’t bother about statistics, he’s taken 14 marks in 15 games. Not bad for a guy 6ft 10in tall. One dimensional much?
You’ll be happy to know Brad Johnson is blind to our problems as you seem to be. On Fox Footy on Sunday, he said that in the draft, Carlton “need to go after the best player whether that be a midfielder or not”. (sigh) No you little smiling Footscray feral imbecile we don’t need another midfielder! Get us talls and plenty of them. God help me Mick, if you recruit one bloke under 6ft 4 in the next draft, the fury of a headband-less Bruce Doull will come down upon thee like nothing ever seen before in Carlton football history!
Anyway, lets get on to more pressing matters, our focus should turn Sydney this week I suppose. So what’s the plans? Burn the footy/turn it over at half back, or do that in the centre line this week? Perhaps run forward of the footy and not get back? Maybe leave Parker/J Kennedy to run amok? Isolate Buddy one out on Ellard/Curnow or McLean? I’ll be fascinated to see what happens this week. My report (as usual) will be in the mail early next week.