Thought of the day

[Strawb]

if you shoot a mime must you use a silencer.
When all else fails plead ignorance.
and see below

[Baron Greenback]

Confucius say, Man who fart in church must sit in his own pew.

Confucius say, Man who fly airplane upside-down bound to have crack up.

Confucius say, Wife who puts man in dog house may find him in cat house.

Confucius say, Virgin like balloon — one prick, all gone.

Confucius say, Man who lays girl on hillside is not on the level.

Confucius say, Man who lays girl in field gets piece on earth.

Confucius say, Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

Confucius say, Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Confucius say, Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius say, Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

Confucius say, Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Confucius say, Baseball got it all wrong — man with four balls cannot walk.

Confucius say, Man who marries girl with no bust have right to feel low down.

[A Mum]

Confucius say, Man who fart in church must sit in his own pew.

Confucius say, Man who fly airplane upside-down bound to have crack up.

Confucius say, Wife who puts man in dog house may find him in cat house.

Confucius say, Virgin like balloon — one prick, all gone.

Confucius say, Man who lays girl on hillside is not on the level.

Confucius say, Man who lays girl in field gets piece on earth.

Confucius say, Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

Confucius say, Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Confucius say, Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius say, Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

Confucius say, Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Confucius say, Baseball got it all wrong — man with four balls cannot walk.

Confucius say, Man who marries girl with no bust have right to feel low down.

Well that's Chuck Norris covered for a fornight

[A Mum]

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother - Theodore Hesburgh

[JK]

If Holland is in the Netherlands, why aren't the locals referred to as being from the "Nether Region"?

[Psyber]

If Holland is in the Netherlands, why aren't the locals referred to as being from the "Nether Region"?

"Nederlanders" as the Germans say dismissively, probably has it covered..

[JAS]

Work to live, don't live to work.

Cos you can never ever get back the time you should have spent with those you care about and they might be gone tomorrow.

Regards
JAS

[smac]

O:) The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother - Theodore Hesburgh

Exceptions to that rule apply in my case!

[A Mum]

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give - Winston Churchill

[smac]

Do you have a new desk calendar Mum?

[A Mum]

Do you have a new desk calendar Mum?

LOL... no it's called 'the internet'

I'm guessing two weeks in and I'll probably start repeating myself not knowing which one's I've already used

[A Mum]

Seen on the back of a T Shirt:

I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

[Strawb]

There are three kinds of people those who can count and those who can't

[A Mum]

There are three kinds of people those who can count and those who can't

Someone on here has that as their 'signature'

[Strawb]

Always remember Don't eat yellow snow

[A Mum]

Friendship is a sheltering tree - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

[Strawb]

Never trust a fart

[A Mum]

The only way to have a friend is to be one - Ralph Waldo Emerson

[johntheclaret]

Confucius say, Man who fart in church must sit in his own pew.

Confucius say, Man who fly airplane upside-down bound to have crack up.

Confucius say, Wife who puts man in dog house may find him in cat house.

Confucius say, Virgin like balloon — one prick, all gone.

Confucius say, Man who lays girl on hillside is not on the level.

Confucius say, Man who lays girl in field gets piece on earth.

Confucius say, Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

Confucius say, Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Confucius say, Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius say, Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

Confucius say, Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Confucius say, Baseball got it all wrong — man with four balls cannot walk.

Confucius say, Man who marries girl with no bust have right to feel low down.

Well that's Chuck Norris covered for a fornight

Confucious also say, man with two hole in pocket, not feel too cocky.

And here's an old one that means absolutely nothing in the UK.

Confucious say: girl with wooden heart not necissarily have cardboard box.

[A Mum]

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?
Billy Connolly