Funny

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Funny

Postby GWW » Wed Mar 29, 2006 11:03 pm

I received this email some time back, its one of the funniest emails i've ever read. Thought i might put it on here for others to read....


Subject: Kids At Sea (too funny!)>

> A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids

> were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got

> together to compare the results and put together some of the comments

that were funny and some that were sad. Here are some of them. The kids

were all aged between 5 and 8 years.>

>

> This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

>

> Whales are animals, not fish. If they don't get air they can drown,

> like my brother did last summer. (David age 7)

>

> Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

>

> If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea

> all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)>

>

> I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily

> Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)>

>

> A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it's head. (Billy

> age 8)

>

> My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.

> (Millie age 6)

>

> When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the

> ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to

make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.

> (William age 7)>

>

> I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.

> How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

>

> I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always

> screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has

> just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)>

>

> Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give

> you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they

have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age7)>

>

> My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish (Laura age 5)

>

> When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my

> willy small. (Kevin age 6)

>

> When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid

> in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend.

It was fun. (Lauren age 7)>

>

> A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of

> seamen inside. (Emma age 5)

>

> When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of

> sailors. (Valerie age 6)>

>

> Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't

> go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)>

>

> On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going

> very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.

> (Julie age 7)
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Postby Wedgie » Mon May 01, 2006 9:29 pm

Here's a funny I saw the other day:

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well," said the man, "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when on a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. While we were looking for our balls, I noticed one of the cows had something in its rear end. I walked over and lifted the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it-- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" Asks the doctor.
"Well, I was lifting the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!"
"I don't remember much after that"!
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