by zipzap » Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:07 pm
Due to factors beyond my control (ie no friends) I was forced to attend the BDO on my lonesome yesterday. So it was with mixed feelings when they asked me at the gate if I would chaperone Party Boy Corey around for the day as apparently it was part of his court-ordered humiliation reprogramming to be stuck with a balding and rapidly aging BDO indie veteran when he'd much rather be in the Red Bull tent getting henna tattoos. I decided it my civic duty to show the young scalliwag around and decided to keep a diary of the day. Or a 'blog' as I believe you young 'hi-tech' Generation-Xers call it! Ha!
Ok, successfully managed to get out of work an hour early, arriving in time to see Regurgitator in their spandex cartoon glory. I wasn't expecting much but they were the perfect start to my day. Black Bugs is always a hoot even if the lame choreography would have made Hi-5 blush.
PBC: Hey man, don't diss Hi-5. They were the first band I was into.
ZZ: Really? What did you think of the 'Gurge?
PBC: Pretty gay. I liked that Polyester Girl song though. Bet it's got an ace video.
ZZ: Er, it doesn't.
Next up the Hilltop Hoods. Definitely the best reaction I saw to any band all day. The hometown hero crowd factor was in full force and they pretty much won me over despite it certainly not being my bag. The urban Yank home-boy posing of Aussies rapping in a cod-Bronx accent usually leaves me cold but these guys are tight-as, world class and as good as this stuff gets.
PBC: That was wicked.
ZZ: Yeah, it was OK.
PBC: You just don't get it do ya Grandad?
ZZ: Probably not.
PBC: Rap speaks my language man. Back in the 'hood me and my peeps are gangstas biggin' it up. When the sh*t's going down in the ghetto the Hilltops get me through man.
ZZ: Ghetto?
PBC: Well, Centro Fountain Gate...but it gets ******* hairy there man for real.
ZZ: What did you think of the string section?
PBC: Heaps gay.
Time to go exploring a bit. The usual over-priced and under tasty food. Poor quality tat on offer. Boiler room is pumping. Horrified that the only way to buy beer is via a clumsy token system. Buy $30 worth of tokens and trade some in for lager. Lots of dust but generally a very nice atmos all round.
PBC: Can I have a beer?
ZZ: How old are you?
PBC: 15
ZZ: Well then, you can't have a beer. Would you like some fruit?
PBC: Fruit?? F*ck you c*nt!
ZZ: And that's why you're not getting beer.
Back to the main stage to get prime position for Arcade Fire. Grab a spot right in front of the barrier, also right in front of peanut-brained Weslo security goons who are high-pressure spraying punters' faces with bore water. Except instead of "punters" read "girls" and replace "faces" with "tits". They clearly love their job. The worst thing about readying for Arcade Fire is having to watch half an hour of Grinspoon which proves to be torture of the highest order.
PBC: What are you talking about? He's got my glasses on! He's got MY glasses on!!! Cooool!
ZZ: But where are the tunes?
PBC: He's...got...my...glasses...on!!
Alright. The main event. Well, for me anyway. Seems a lot of people were not there to see the 'Fire as I was and either dispersed for a break or stood around chatting with attention spans a-wandering, which is a shame because they missed some stunning music and brilliant musicianship. Watching Regine jump from guitar to vocals to pipe organ to drums was amazing. The cute Pixies and Cyndi Lauper snippets went over the crowd's collective head and the attempted singalong at the end fizzled out depressingly. To be fair I reckon this would have worked much better in an intimate setting (and not in the blazing sun) but it was mildly depressing that my favourite act was not received as warmly as I would have expected.
PBC: Quit your whinging pops. Who cares about these smelly hippies anyway?
ZZ: Well their first 2 albums are regularly cited in Best Album of the Year charts and they are critically applauded the word over...
PBC: Talk to the hand man, I just texted Jonno and he's neva heard of 'em either.
ZZ: They mustn't be very good then.
PBC: Exactly.
ZZ: Why were you texting during the show anyway?
PBC: Pffft. As if I'd go to a concert and not use my mobile! Dumbass.
Billy Bragg's already started so it's time for a souvlaki (I remember they used to be called Yiros when I was a lad) and then the big nosed leftie himself. I own everything he's ever done but have never seen him play live which was a real treat. Arriving to 'Waiting for the Great Leap Forward' it was refreshing to see just a bloke with just a guitar - no gimmicks - and it sounded all the better for it. One criticism I had of the day was that all the stages sounded like mud during various performances. Had to laugh that he was playing on the Converse sponsored stage - I'm pretty certain he would have baulked at that back in the day! But Billy was cool - except when he went into preachy mode, rabbiting on about the Clash (his latest Woody Guthrie-like project) and what a good bloke Kevin Rudd must be. Ended with 5000 bald men (far out, where did they all come from!?!) singing 'A New England'. Bless.
PBC: Geez it's like a ******* nursing home in here. Who is this old git?
ZZ: Leftist singer-songwriter from the 80s who rallied against Thatcherite Britain. Interestingly his career stalled as soon as Thatcher lost power but there you go.
PBC: I dunno what the f*ck a Thatcher is but why is he paying out Johnny Howard? He's a legend! Made this country great - me and my mates never have nuthin to complain about.
ZZ: That actually explains a lot...
Bjork or not to Bjork? Hmmm. I saw her when she last played a BDO, on one of the more intimate stages and she was surprisingly good. Stunning even. But that was a long time ago and for every song of hers I love there are 10 that annoy the hell out of me. Head over to the main stage in time to see Silverchair in their death throes. Absolutely dreadful. Tuneless dirge with pathetic theatrics. Paul Mac adds nothing except pretension. Nothing wrong with tinkering with your sound but not at the cost of what you do best. Mind you, after hearing 'Freak', maybe a little experimentation is not a bad idea after all.
PBC: I love that song "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo!"
ZZ: Er, I think you mean Radiohead.
PBC: Yeah that's it. Wicked song!
Bjork begins by playing 5 of the songs that annoy the hell out of me. Great. The sound was muddy (the only words I could make out were when she said "Tink You" in her annoying Icelandic pixie voice at the end of each 'song') and I'd had enough. Even Corey, who for a while was bewitched by the colour and movement, had to agree.
PBC: Let's go see Augie March.
ZZ: Wow, that's not something I'd have expected you to say.
PBC: F*ck man, anything's gotta be better than this!
Turns out the mud factor was in full force for Augie March too with Glenn Richards being visibly p*ssed off with the terrible sound. Watched a few of the better tracks from the first album and a beautiful One Crowded Hour from the last. Woke from a coma and decided that again this would be much better suited to an intimate venue. Right then, time to wake up, off to the Boiler Room to see LCD Soundsystem.
PBC: I took an LCD once.
ZZ: How was it?
PBC: Awesome. I don't even remember it.
The Boiler Room was hot, sweaty and chockers and was definitely the highlight of my day. Much to Corey's embarrassment, grooved to the end of Krafty Kuts with their populist Doors ("This is the End. Beautiful motherfkn friend") and Bittersweet Symphony samples. Then over to LCD Soundsystem who have always confused me (sort of like Talking Heads meets New Order meets The Strokes meets Pulp). Thought I had seen probably the high point of the BDO - the place absolutely rocked and they had the audience in the palm of their hands. I like their electronic side more than their electric side and All My Friends was stunning if painfully ironic. Loved it when Win Butler and another guy out of the Arcade Fire joined them on stage for a rousing North American Scum. Didn't play Someone Great but you can't have everything. The drummer looked like Mike Love and the keyboard player like Yoko Ono and I left exhilarated but none the wiser after watching LCD Soundsystem.
PBC: They were alright but the singer's got man cans.
ZZ: It happens to all of us.
PBC: Only to poofs. Have you seen my pecs?
ZZ: Well I've seen you on TV with your shirt off. I don't think they are really pecs as such.
PBC: Yeah they are. They are pecs for real.
ZZ: Are having pecs important to you?
PBC: Pfftt...f*ck yeah!
ZZ: Why?
PBC: So I can show off my pecs. Poofter!
ZZ: Even to your male friends?
PBC: Yeah, of cour....I mean...hang on! I know what you're doing there.
ZZ: Heh heh...
Hmmm...how to end the evening? The choice is as follows:
1. Standing in a pit of bogans waiting for Rage (that's what the kids call them) to play their one good song. What exactly is the 'machine' they are 'raging' against these days anyway? And what exactly are they 'killing in the name of'? It continues to elude me.
2. Swaying to Sarah Blasko and her petite little cardigan, stockings and sandals get up. Much as I like her work I'm not really in the mood. Corey said she's filth anyway, whatever that means.
3. Reliving the olden days with dad-rocker Paul Kelly and his Rockwiz castoff band.
Decide that option 3 is a goer for potential perfect ending to BDO. After all this man has written some of the finest lyrics and music as the soundtrack of a nation for a generation. Sadly in recent years he has also produced steaming piles of over-cooked glossy blandness that scream creative bankruptcy. Since he disbanded the Coloured Girls / Messengers I've definitely fallen out of love with Paul Kelly. Still, wheeling out 'Before Too Long', 'Careless' (with Dan Kelly singing up a storm - as well as some Smiths lyrics god bless him) and 'To Her Door' were just the tonic. As Raaage drew to a close and the crowd filtered around, it was a nice communal vibe and a great way to end the 2008 BDO. What a shame this communal vibe was then destroyed by everyone throwing their empty Coke cans (which were given away on the way out) all over Goodwood on the way back to the car. Crazy kids!
ZZ: Well Corey what did you think of the Adelaide Big Day Out.
PBC: Pretty gay. The free Coke was good but.
ZZ: Good luck with the career then.
PBC: Don't need luck mate. Got Max Markson workin' for me now.
ZZ: I see.
PBC: Yeah, it's all good.
ZZ: It sure is Corey. It sure is.
PBC and ZZ: Ha ha hahaha ha!
"A no vote from any club means there is some sort of risk involved in our entry into the competition not working," Steven Trigg.
No Bjork?
