Things that give you the sh1ts

[Booney]

The key pad on our alarm system at home has had one of the digits in our code "playing up", you've had to really jam the button in to get it to engage.

Organised last week for a tech to come out and replace it, booked between 11 and 12 today. I rang them around 10 to see how they were tracking, "Oh, good timing, he's just logged a job, has one to go, should be to you at 11:30". "Cheers". Leave work, get home 11:20.

12:30 I call to see where he is "I don't know, I'll call you back".

1:00 I call back as I'm getting in the car to go back to work "Looks like he's out the front of you place"

"He's ******* not"

"It looks like he is"

"Well, I know I am and I can't see him"

"We'll have to book another time then"

"Sure, who do I send the 1.5 hours invoice too?"

"Sorry?"

"My 1.5 hour waiting time invoice, who do I send that too?"

"I'll get my manager to call you".

1:28, no call from manager.

[am Bays]

There was no beer in the fridge at work so I gave one of the blokes some cash to go and get a carton of beers and a carton of cider.

Now, at 3 o'clock on a Friday what sort of **** wit goes to buy beer and cider from Dan Murphy's and takes them off the ******* pallet in the store?

Anyone got a position open for a **** wit?

You may laugh, but I am filthy. He's also aware that I'm filthy.

Knew a bloke who used to do something similar for Finders Uni Liberal Club BBQ lunches back in the day.

As Treasurer he'd get the coin and then buy the beers (his choice) but leave them in his car all morning so were basically drinking hot VB if we wanted beers to drink.

I wasn't surprised when I later found out he was a Port supporter, it explained many of his behavioural traits....

[Pseudo]

Knew a bloke who used to do something similar for Finders Uni Liberal Club BBQ lunches back in the day.

As Treasurer he'd get the coin and then buy the beers (his choice) but leave them in his car all morning so were basically drinking hot VB if we wanted beers to drink.

I wasn't surprised when I later found out he was a Port supporter, it explained many of his behavioural traits....

A real port supporter would've bought Southwark Bitter...

[Booney]

Knew a bloke who used to do something similar for Finders Uni Liberal Club BBQ lunches back in the day.

As Treasurer he'd get the coin and then buy the beers (his choice) but leave them in his car all morning so were basically drinking hot VB if we wanted beers to drink.

I wasn't surprised when I later found out he was a Port supporter, it explained many of his behavioural traits....

A real port supporter would've bought Southwark Bitter...

Bought....lol

[locky801]

Batsman at the end of each over walking to the middle of the pitch, hit gloves together, have a chat, hit gloves together again and back to their respective creases, is it really necessary

[Armchair expert]

Batsman at the end of each over walking to the middle of the pitch, hit gloves together, have a chat, hit gloves together again and back to their respective creases, is it really necessary

Awkward when you don't receive a fist bump back

[carey]

My Boss

[Booney]

Batsman at the end of each over walking to the middle of the pitch, hit gloves together, have a chat, hit gloves together again and back to their respective creases, is it really necessary

Yep, it's like getting through an over together is some sort of achievement.

[Brodlach]

My Boss

Missus taken away your leave pass for the weekend?

[The Dark Knight]

Batsman at the end of each over walking to the middle of the pitch, hit gloves together, have a chat, hit gloves together again and back to their respective creases, is it really necessary

Yep, it's like getting through an over together is some sort of achievement.

For some us it absolutely is an achievement haha!

[carey]

My Boss

Missus taken away your leave pass for the weekend?

No not at all, she's away for netball.

My Boss is just a dead set Idiot.

[Eagles2014]

Jokers in footy tips - why have them? Ruin a good year!!

[Brodlach]

My 17 year old thinking with his dick and nothing else

[Jim05]

My 17 year old thinking with his dick and nothing else

Isn’t that most blokes on the planet [emoji3]

[Booney]

My 17 year old thinking with his dick and nothing else

Ruh oh.

[Booney]

Having to wait until Thursday for the Coopers XPA to be available anywhere but wanker pubs in the city. FFS!

[tipper]

Having to wait until Thursday for the Coopers XPA to be available anywhere but wanker pubs in the city. FFS!

was on tap at the gepps cross on sunday evening. i had a small taste, but apparently they "werent allowed to sell it".

seemed alright. will take a more thorough test though before i make up my mind though.

[Booney]

Having to wait until Thursday for the Coopers XPA to be available anywhere but wanker pubs in the city. FFS!

was on tap at the gepps cross on sunday evening. i had a small taste, but apparently they "werent allowed to sell it".

seemed alright. will take a more thorough test though before i make up my mind though.

Thanks mate, it's at the Lakes on Thursday so I might pop in tomorrow on the way home and see if they've got it ready to go.

[tipper]

Having to wait until Thursday for the Coopers XPA to be available anywhere but wanker pubs in the city. FFS!

was on tap at the gepps cross on sunday evening. i had a small taste, but apparently they "werent allowed to sell it".

seemed alright. will take a more thorough test though before i make up my mind though.

Thanks mate, it's at the Lakes on Thursday so I might pop in tomorrow on the way home and see if they've got it ready to go.

i hadnt actually heard it was coming, but im looking forward to giving it a proper go. any idea when it might hit bottle shops? im going swag camping up the river this weekend, so may need something to keep me warm, or forget about the cold, or something

[Dutchy]

Just got "Champed" in an email