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WITH his down-to-earth personality and dry humour, Jonathan Brown was a fan favourite throughout his storied AFL career.
His ability to spin a yarn is also first-class and the three-time Brisbane Lions premiership star tells more than a few in his recently released autobiography Life and Football.
Here’s eight things you didn’t know about Brown, as revealed by the man himself.
HE HAD A SWEARING PROBLEM AS A TODDLER
BROWN recounts his colourful language as a youngster. After a toilet training accident he told his grandfather, “You wouldn’t believe it, Pa. I s*** my pants today.” He would also climb on a table at his family’s farmhouse and sing, “The bananas in pyjamas are coming down the f***ing stairs.” But when he described an unfriendly shop assistant to his mother as “a f***in’ sour bitch” — in full hearing of the shop assistant — his parents decided it had to stop and took away all his toys and sporting equipment. Brown got on the phone and told his grandmother “They’ve taken my f***in’ toys away, Nan.”
HE RAN A SPORTSBOOK DURING HIGH SCHOOL
ALONG with two of his cousins, Brown took bets on the Melbourne Cup from his fellow students in high school every year. The trio would study the form and set their own odds — and regularly collect several hundreds of dollars. They thought they were in trouble when a teacher uncovered what they were doing one year but were amazed when instead of pulling them up, he decided to place a bet. They kept his money.
HE WAS KING-HIT OUTSIDE A BRISBANE NIGHTCLUB AS A TEEN
BEFORE Brown had played a game for the Lions he had his jaw cracked in a late-night incident outside a club. Brown had argued with another man inside the bar and after leaving to get a hamburger was kneed in the head while he sat and ate it. He didn’t press charges to keep the incident out of the media and despite his innocence was still scolded by coach Leigh Matthews.
HE WAS LUCKY NOT TO BE INVOLVED IN THE BALI BOMBING
BROWN reveals the Lions had planned to celebrate the 2002 premiership in Bali but ended up not going on the trip because it clashed with teammate Nigel Lappin’s wedding. “I have no doubt that if we had gone on our footy trip as planned, we would have been in the Sari Club that night,” he writes.
HE KNOCKED HIMSELF OUT ON ‘SLAB DAY’
EACH January, a group of Brown’s mates from his home town in Warrnambool would gather for “Slab Day”. As Brown explains, “Each bloke who attends has to try and drink a slab of beer during the day.” In 2003 Brown was wrestling with a mate when they crashed through the balcony railing of a two-storey house and knocked themselves unconscious. Brown was taken to hospital but despite suspecting he had busted ribs he waited until he was unattended and did a runner. He battled through preseason training without revealing the injury.
A 2003 FOOTY TRIP TO NEW ORLEANS WAS HIS MOST MEMORABLE
THE Lions raised about $60,000 for the end-of-season trip after their third premiership by signing memorabilia. He spent five nights on Bourbon St in New Orleans sporting a big Mohawk he had done at a local hairdresser. Every night the group would cast votes for their Downlow Award, which went to the best performer on the trip. The person who polled the most votes would wear a yellow jacket.
HE HAD QUITE THE HONEYMOON IN 2008
WITH new wife Kylie Adams, Brown travelled to the US after his wedding in October, 2008. On the trip the newlyweds watched an AC/DC concert and Roy Jones Jr fight Joe Calzaghe at Madison Square Garden, watched Manny Pacquiao train at the Wildcard Gym in West Hollywood and Ricky Hatton train in Las Vegas and saw Sav Rocca play for the Philadelphia Eagles against the New York Giants in the NFL.
THEY IGNORED MICHAEL VOSS’S ORDERS IN SHANGHAI
BRISBANE travelled to China for an exhibition game against Melbourne in October, 2010. Despite Michael Voss’s request not to turn the trip into a “massive piss-drinking affair”, a group of players led by Brown and veteran Simon Black had a seven-hour banquet lunch and continued on into the night. After arriving home at 5.30am they had to be at training at 6am. Some players didn’t make it and Voss read them the riot act. “Tell us about the long lunch,” he asked Black. “Blacky was supposed to say that he regretted it,” Brown writes. “But I think was still under the weather. ‘It was a f***ing great day,’ he said. I struggled to hold in my laughter.”
Jonathan Brown: Life and Football will be released on July 29 through Penguin Books.
Click here to preorder your copy.
