Things that give you the sh1ts

[HH3]

Funny you say that Boon.

We have one rep who we have heard from customers that he stands in the foyer until they buy something. Even if they've told him they don't need anything.

He's our most successful rep.

He also probably doesn't have any friends

Correct.

He's banned from calling on a fair few places, and some people run and hide in the toilets when they see him coming in. (true story)

In those cases, other people (me) do the work and he still gets the commish. Circle of life.

[Booney]

Funny you say that Boon.
We have one rep who we have heard from customers that he stands in the foyer until they buy something. Even if they've told him they don't need anything.
He's our most successful rep.

He also probably doesn't have any friends

When I negotiated to buy the house I'm now in the real estate agent asked me if I had ever thought of a career in real estate. "No mate, I enjoy weekends and having mates".

Just wish I could find some mates...

[Spargo]

Funny you say that Boon.
We have one rep who we have heard from customers that he stands in the foyer until they buy something. Even if they've told him they don't need anything.
He's our most successful rep.

He also probably doesn't have any friends

When I negotiated to buy the house I'm now in the real estate agent asked me if I had ever thought of a career in real estate. "No mate, I enjoy weekends and having mates".

Just wish I could find some mates...

Keep looking....

[whufc]

We have some absolute dodgy sales reps at work.

One decided out of the goodness of his heart he would send us 4 fax machine printer cartridges which all up cost us around $1000 because by buying the four we automatically got a free ipad.

Problem being, who the f**k still uses a fax, four cartridges would last us 10 bloody years and secondly we have absolutely zero use for an ipad here.

Told him he can put the invoice up his arse and come collect the product that he sent here, i also explained in 2026 when we do need to order something again for our fax it wont be through him.

The other rep was from a major soft drink company. The centre i work in is shared by the recreation side and the OSHC side. He arrived at the centre to do an order (not on the scheduled day i must add) and was greeted by the OSHC staff who informed him no one from the rec side was here to do the order. He decided to take it upon himself to do our order for us to which he ordered $500 worth more than we order on average (we normally order $200 worth) and had also decided that we need a wide range of new products that wouldn't even fit in our fridges.

Needlees to say i now do the order over the phone and only ever order the bare minimum required.

[HH3]

Our rep started selling hi-vis jackets.

He is very crafty at trying to get free shit, so we knew something would come up.

He rocks up with a "sample" jacket and says, "when customers order, we will order whats needed from the manufacturer."

My first question to him was, "What's gonna happen to that sample jacket?"

Rep, "I thought I might be able to keep it."

Me, "Yeah, I guess you can. For the cost price."

He got a bit flustered and walked out. That was about 2 months ago. Now he all of a sudden wears a hi-vis jacket everywhere. I haven't seen an invoice for it, the cheeky bugger.

Just today he told me a customer returned one, and we have to replace it. I said, "Thats fine, but wheres the one they returned?" He got a bit flustered again, and said "I think i took it back to the supplier."

Me, "Where's the credit note?"

Him - *walks out*

Crook!

[Booney]

The massive rat I spotted in my shed last night.

[Footy Chick]

If you had a cat, you wouldn't have a rat

[Booney]

If you had a cat, you wouldn't have a rat

Perhaps,I may or may not have a rat, but then I would have a cat.

[Pag]

Working with kids during show week. Some of them don't have anything except sugar in lunchboxes, others I reckon had a showbag's worth of goods for breakfast.

[HH3]

Working with kids during show week. Some of them don't have anything except sugar in lunchboxes, others I reckon had a showbag's worth of goods for breakfast.

I bet heaps of them have sick South Park backpacks though!

[Spargo]

If you had a cat, you wouldn't have a rat

Perhaps,I may or may not have a rat, but then I would have a cat.

If rather have a dozen rats than a single cat...

[Booney]

If you had a cat, you wouldn't have a rat

Perhaps,I may or may not have a rat, but then I would have a cat.

If rather have a dozen rats than a single cat...

^ This....and I really, really hate rats.

[HH3]

Catt says f**k you all!

[bennymacca]

wait, i thought you were in bobs burgers, you look different in that photo

[fisho mcspaz]

My MOTHER.

Honestly, I am ready to chuck my computer through the window after talking to her.

She has been very worried about the state of finances at my house for some time (yeah, it's not her business, but you cannot tell her to stop worrying about this s***, because she won't), because I only work 6-8 hours a week these days, devoting the rest of my time to finishing my Ph.D. I know she thinks I won't finish it, because she never finished HER Ph.D, and therefore I should really go and get a job as a public servant. That is her dream. Anyway, I thought it might cheer her up to tell her Mr McSpaz got the new job he'd applied for. A much better salary, the new company will pay for further training and qualifications in engineering, AND it gets him out of iiNet before TPG takes over. But when I said 'We'll need to get a second car for the first 3 months, as they won't give him a company car until after the probationary period' she made this 'ttt-onnnngh' noise - you know, the f***ing sound people make when they die playing Mario or something (not me - I feel about dying in computer games the same way I feel about football umpires, so my reactions are a little more extreme). Except she made this noise about 5 times and then proceeded to complain what an expense, what a hassle, what an inconvenience the whole thing was, and couldn't he have just stayed at his old job? OK, I'm not thrilled about depleting our savings for a car he's only going to sell again in a few months' time, but strike me pink, glass half empty much?

[fisho mcspaz]

Catt says f**k you all!

Did you steal my cat?! That looks exactly like my cat!

[HH3]

How can anyone hate this?

I have a million cats pics on my phone if people are happy for me to keep posting them

[Footy Chick]

I'm not sure if men can relate to this, but....

At work, we have 10 toilets in the ladies at our end of the building

I hate it when I'm the only person in the room and someone else comes in and uses the loo right next to me, instead of one of the other 7 available loos.

I feel like my personal space is being invaded, even though I cant actually see them

[heater31]

I'm not sure if men can relate to this, but....

At work, we have 10 toilets in the ladies at our end of the building

I hate it when I'm the only person in the room and someone else comes in and uses the loo right next to me, instead of one of the other 7 available loos.

I feel like my personal space is being invaded, even though I cant actually see them [emoji38]

Um did you know men actually urinate without a wall between them? Of course we know about personal space

[HH3]

I'm not sure if men can relate to this, but....

At work, we have 10 toilets in the ladies at our end of the building

I hate it when I'm the only person in the room and someone else comes in and uses the loo right next to me, instead of one of the other 7 available loos.

I feel like my personal space is being invaded, even though I cant actually see them

You should experience it at a urinal. You think YOUR space has been invaded?

Try someone using the one next to you, and the only way you can see if they're looking at your dick is to look their way, which makes it look like you're looking at their dick.

Stop your whinging