Finally knocked down a 13-page synopsis of my novel to 4 pages. I get all excited, dance around with the cat, eat half a bag of Fizz Buttons (poor man's Fruit Tingles - $1.49 at Foodland), because this labour of love (or whatever) is finally coming to an end - then I receive this email saying 'Sorry - we need a two-page synopsis, double-spaced with 3cm margins.' After applying formatting changes, the f***ing thing is back up to 6 pages and I cannot get it any smaller without removing important plot points and making the whole project read like a high-schooler's first foray into Real Writing. Very tempted to just write 'St Kilda Islands, 1726-27. 4/5 of characters die of smallpox. Includes 2 sex scenes, multiple fights, premeditated bird sacrifice, boating accident, extortionate steward of Clan MacLeod, disgruntled missionary and a s***load of birds. Good times ensue.'
