Best bit of sledging you have heard either on/or off the fie

[silicone skyline]

We've all had some sort of comical comment directed at us, but whats the best you've heard?
One of my personal favourites was at under 17's training, where a larger kid was taking the "short route" around the oval when one of the others quipped, "You wouldn't cut that much off your sandwich, would you?"

[Baron Greenback]

I dunno about sledging, but once in a match played in the aboriginal mission, a tiny dog ran out on to the field and squatted directly between the man on the mark and the guy kicking for goal.
He then proceeded to take the biggest dump ever.
Fair to say he missed the goal.

[silicone skyline]

Lol!
That's pretty cool.
Wonder if you could train a dog to do that?

[FootyMad]

Standing at the bar at my ol'd club Central District and a longtime supporter approached me and a bunch of current players, leaned in and looked one of the boys right in the eye after leering at him up and down and said - 'son, you couldnt mark a footy with a texta!' he turned and simply walked off.

[silicone skyline]

Haha, yeah, there are supporters out there like that.
One of the worst ones i've heard was "Oi Millsy, the reason your arms are so long is so you could pull yourself out of the ab0rtion bucket," pretty gross really.

[Baron Greenback]

They are both brilliant in their own way.
I love it. Keep em coming people....

[FootyMad]

Once heard a blading player being told that the only reason his hair was running off the back of his head was to get away from his pig ugly face!

[The Rooster]

Once during a reasonably fierce game, one of our blokes got busted open and had a trace of claret running down his brow.

He was arguing with the umpire as to the extent of the cut and he seemed to think it would be ok (as most players do) and the umpire, having none of it was telling him to get off when one of the opposition players strode up and said "Jesus, would you get him off, you don't know what these blokes have got!" fair to say it ended the discussion.

[The Rooster]

Another one i heard just recently came from the men in white. During the course of the game one of our defenders had floated in front of a leading forward, the bloke had control of the pill, until he was steamrolled by this particlular forward, we all thought a mark/free kick would ensue, but no "play on" was the call and another bloke picked it up and snapped truly, our bloke still gagging on his teeth.

i took the opportunity to politley ask the umpire if he had seen it and perhaps to open his eyes if he hadn't.

Rooster: Mate, that bloke has just been flattened, was that not a mark?
White Maggott: huh, what no...no...what's your problem anyway?
R: look matey, i'm just asking the question.
WM: who are you Eddie maguire!!

Then this peanut umpire jogs away singing the collingwood anthem (good old collingwood forever, blah,blah, blah)

i have always tried to get along with the men in white, but i nearly clocked this bonehead.
Ps: doesn't umpire in our league anymore, oh and i don't condone arguing or aggression towards umpires, so long as they don't give to you in the 1st place.

[The Rooster]

Plus this little gem that i'm sure gets a run up at Moorook!

A Bloke standing the mark when his opponent was lining up for a goal was heard to say "Don't forget your Pin Number"

Couldn't tell you if he scored the goal or not, as i was racking my brain as to how you come up with that, but possibly Dogwatcher has the answer!

[Amo]

heard this during a D grade game from the boundry lol while a player was tacking his time kick the ball ot from full back

" Kick it to your mum shes loose " classic!

[heater31]

Once as a 16 yr old I told a 35+ opposition player during a scuffle "To go back to the nursing home isn't it nap time?" needless to say I nearly got my lights punched out of me, judging by his reaction he didn't take it too well

[silicone skyline]

I had an under 12 player in the backlines for the first time, so i had this conversation with him:

SS: Ok mate, your a smart footballer, can you tell me what the percentages are when playing in the backlines?
Kid: (Looked at me with this dull look) About 75???

[Dogwatcher]

Plus this little gem that i'm sure gets a run up at Moorook!

A Bloke standing the mark when his opponent was lining up for a goal was heard to say "Don't forget your Pin Number"

Couldn't tell you if he scored the goal or not, as i was racking my brain as to how you come up with that, but possibly Dogwatcher has the answer!

What are you an Elephant, Rooster?
I can barely recall that one - seemed like a good idea at the time.There was a punchline - but I can't remember it. That's 11 years ago!

A Paringa opponent recently called me 'Princess' as I was having a rare charmed run with the umpires. I couldn't believe he'd call me that, my reply was "and this from a bloke with blonde and black tints through his hair". BD will know who he was.

[faxuwill]

best directed my way. your just a wog tomato grower !!!!!!!!!!from united fc(apfl) supporter ,price of tomato that week $90-$100 dollars a 10 kg box! as sammy would say U IDOT

[BJ Ernest]

a mate whos only 24 took on a bloke and got caught holding the ball. the calls from the sidelines were
'hey 32, your too old mate hang em up'

[Baron Greenback]

While watching the A grade match at Renmark one year, one of my mates yelled to a Berri player:
"You're the load your mum should have swallowed!"
CLASSIC!

I do know him DW and the kid is an absolute unit.

[LaughingKookaburra]

Heard at a between Kenilworth v Central Utd game a Kenilworth fan yelled out "Hey 19,what are you doing after the game??",the player replies "sleeping with your mum". The fan replies "Thats ok mate,im sleeping with your dad".Sick but it got a huge laugh.

[The Rooster]

Yeah, not sure about that one LK!! Would have copped a bit in the club afterwards about it!!

One of the classic's from the Ye olde Grogge squade, the boys that used to sit behind the goals at Centrals in the mid 80's

There was this one sheila who decided to wear a pair of tight denim cut off jean shorts to the footy, after about three fly walk-by's of the G/Squad one old boy yelled out "shit, i think your ass must be hungry, it's eaten your fu&%$en Jeans" very funny at the time!

Another beauty i remember was at Australia vs Sri Lanka, Adelaide Oval 1987 - My old man saw fit to park us right in front of the Scoreboard, (likes a few ales does Barry!!) as youngsters my brothers and i just took in the spectacle that a One Day International.

During the course of the day, about the same time Boony was Bashing shit out of the poor Sri Lankans, these three blokes with Turbans were doing laps of the oval with their Sri Lankan flag, thing is, everytime they walked past empty plastic Beer cups rained down on top of them. It was all done it great spirits and they always had a smile on their dial.
About the third lap, they walked past, Cups flew down, then, a half eaten roast chicken came down with the cups.
There was a few laughs to break up the minute of silence as everyone took in what had just landed in the middle of the crowd, then, about 4 Drunken yobbo's pounced on the chicken ripping it apart and devouring what was left. Priceless, one of the funniest things i've ever witnessed. it's always fun when you get thousands of pissed blokes together on a 40 Degree day at the cricket.

[silicone skyline]