Things that make you laugh

[whufc]

Finding out from Mr McSpaz's family that he used to have a little fan club at the local supermarket. Apparently the checkout girls used to accost his parents and sister all the time to ask if he'd broken up with his girlfriend. MM was completely oblivious to this and was really surprised when he found out. I'm still pointing at him and laughing and he's not very impressed.

Now that he knows he have you noticed how much more often he is going back to that supermarket.

[Booney]

Clint Eastwood speech.

[Bully]

Banks are not allowed to offer you a credit limit addition anymore without your authority - So they now send you a letter, to ask -

We are not allowed to send or offer you more credit without your authority, so you need to sign this paper work, send it back to us, so as we can then offer you more credit from now on.

This is old news yes, but FFS ......ummm no i wont be doing that.

(small things amuse small minds i know )

[Psyber]

Banks are not allowed to offer you a credit limit addition anymore without your authority - So they now send you a letter, to ask -
We are not allowed to send or offer you more credit without your authority, so you need to sign this paper work, send it back to us, so as we can then offer you more credit from now on.
This is old news yes, but FFS ......ummm no i wont be doing that.
(small things amuse small minds i know )

I have agreed to be offered more credit, but it hasn't happened yet.
Perhaps that's because I pay them off each month and don't accumulate debt.

[Sorry Dude]

The Carlton Draught ads - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GbHpqfv9is

[Bully]

Banks are not allowed to offer you a credit limit addition anymore without your authority - So they now send you a letter, to ask -
We are not allowed to send or offer you more credit without your authority, so you need to sign this paper work, send it back to us, so as we can then offer you more credit from now on.
This is old news yes, but FFS ......ummm no i wont be doing that.
(small things amuse small minds i know )

I have agreed to be offered more credit, but it hasn't happened yet.
Perhaps that's because I pay them off each month and don't accumulate debt.

we all cant have jobs that pay $100,000 annually or be all doctors and lawyers.

[Psyber]

Banks are not allowed to offer you a credit limit addition anymore without your authority - So they now send you a letter, to ask -
We are not allowed to send or offer you more credit without your authority, so you need to sign this paper work, send it back to us, so as we can then offer you more credit from now on.
This is old news yes, but FFS ......ummm no i wont be doing that.
(small things amuse small minds i know )

I have agreed to be offered more credit, but it hasn't happened yet.
Perhaps that's because I pay them off each month and don't accumulate debt.

we all cant have jobs that pay $100,000 annually or be all doctors and lawyers.

Me! $100K per year! I was under $40K last year
I'm a self-funded retiree, negotiating a 6-week job over Christmas - in WA - to try to make ends meet.
(Good thing I own my house or I would be in trouble.)

[Magpiespower]

Germaine Greer.

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/national/germain-greer-attacks-brisbane-writers-festival-accusing-queenslanders-of-not-being-able-to-read/story-fndo1yus-1226466824766

[RustyCage]

Recently, SAPOL ran an e-mail forum (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being "Community Policing."
One of the civilian email participants posed the following question;

"I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?"

From the "other side" (the law enforcement side) Sgt. Kym Webb of Mount Barker police, (a cop with a sense of humor) replied:

"First of all, let me tell you this...it's not easy. In the Adelaide Hills we average one cop for every 600 people. Only about 60% of those cops are on general duty (or what you might refer to as "general patrols") where we do most of our harassing.

The rest are in non-harassing departments that do not allow them contact with the day to day innocents. At any given moment, only one-fifth of the 60% general patrols are on duty and available for harassing people while the rest are off duty. So roughly, one cop is responsible for harassing about 5,000 residents.

When you toss in the commercial business, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 10,000 or more people a day.

Now, your average eight-hour shift runs 28,800 seconds long. This gives a cop one second to harass a person, and then only three-fourths of a second to drink a Farmer's Union Iced Coffee AND then find a new person to harass. This is not an easy task. To be honest, most cops are not up to this challenge day in and day out. It is just too tiring. What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those people which we can realistically harass.

The tools available to us are as follows:
PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment. "My neighbor is beating his wife" is a code phrase used often. This means we'll come out and give somebody some special harassment. Another popular one is, "There's a guy breaking into a house." The harassment team is then put into action.

CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars with no insurance or no driver's licences and the like. It's lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light. Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, they are drunk, or have an outstanding FINS warrant on file.

RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours.

LAWS: When we don't have PHONES or CARS and have nothing better to do, there are actually books that give us ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called "Statutes" These include the Criminal Law Consolidation Act, Summary Offences Act, Road Traffic Act and a whole bunch of others ... They all spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people.

After you read the law , you can just drive around for a while until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them. Just last week I saw a guy trying to steal a car. Well, there's this book we have that says that's not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It is a really cool system that we have set up, and it works pretty well.

We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass. And we get away with it. Why? Because for the good citizens who pay the tab, we try to keep the streets safe for them, and they pay us to "harass" some people.

Next time you are in the Hills, give me the old "single finger wave." That's another one of those codes. It means, "You can harass me."
It's one of our favourites."

[tipper]

Recently, SAPOL ran an e-mail forum (snip)

absolute GOLD!!

[Magpiespower]

Rick Astley could hold his own on Mad Men...

[Pseudo]

Spotted the following letterbox enroute to the Mawson Lakes Uni from the train station and did a double take...

WTF?

Image0410.jpg (42.45 KiB) Viewed 1291 times

[CENTURION]

which street?

[scoob]

Recently, SAPOL ran an e-mail forum (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being "Community Policing."
One of the civilian email participants posed the following question;

"I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?"

From the "other side" (the law enforcement side) Sgt. Kym Webb of Mount Barker police, (a cop with a sense of humor) replied:

"First of all, let me tell you this...it's not easy. In the Adelaide Hills we average one cop for every 600 people. Only about 60% of those cops are on general duty (or what you might refer to as "general patrols") where we do most of our harassing.

The rest are in non-harassing departments that do not allow them contact with the day to day innocents. At any given moment, only one-fifth of the 60% general patrols are on duty and available for harassing people while the rest are off duty. So roughly, one cop is responsible for harassing about 5,000 residents.

When you toss in the commercial business, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 10,000 or more people a day.

Now, your average eight-hour shift runs 28,800 seconds long. This gives a cop one second to harass a person, and then only three-fourths of a second to drink a Farmer's Union Iced Coffee AND then find a new person to harass. This is not an easy task. To be honest, most cops are not up to this challenge day in and day out. It is just too tiring. What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those people which we can realistically harass.

The tools available to us are as follows:
PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment. "My neighbor is beating his wife" is a code phrase used often. This means we'll come out and give somebody some special harassment. Another popular one is, "There's a guy breaking into a house." The harassment team is then put into action.

CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars with no insurance or no driver's licences and the like. It's lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light. Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, they are drunk, or have an outstanding FINS warrant on file.

RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours.

LAWS: When we don't have PHONES or CARS and have nothing better to do, there are actually books that give us ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called "Statutes" These include the Criminal Law Consolidation Act, Summary Offences Act, Road Traffic Act and a whole bunch of others ... They all spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people.

After you read the law , you can just drive around for a while until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them. Just last week I saw a guy trying to steal a car. Well, there's this book we have that says that's not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It is a really cool system that we have set up, and it works pretty well.

We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass. And we get away with it. Why? Because for the good citizens who pay the tab, we try to keep the streets safe for them, and they pay us to "harass" some people.

Next time you are in the Hills, give me the old "single finger wave." That's another one of those codes. It means, "You can harass me."
It's one of our favourites."

Typical smart arse cop response...

[The Ash Man]

The chick on the real insurance ad expecting us to believe she is 36.

If she is 36 I'm 11

[heater31]

The chick on the real insurance ad expecting us to believe she is 36.

If she is 36 I'm 11

more like 46.....

[Squids]

[The Dark Knight]

Love the ending.

[woodublieve12]

Crow supporters... They magically disappear one week, the reappear the next week when things go there way...

[Magpiespower]

Crow supporters... They magically disappear one week, the reappear the next week when things go there way...

Certainly didn't reappear at Footy Park last night...