I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I FINISHED MY BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And no one is awake to celebrate with me, because it's three in the f***ing morning! That being said, I'm sure that if I went into the bedroom, jumped on Mr McSpaz and said 'Oi, get up and have a beer with me, I've just finished my book' that he'd get in the spirit of things and join me. But I'm only 80% certain, and it wouldn't be nice to bother him anyway, because he hasn't been sleeping the last two weeks, he's been worrying about me because
I haven't been sleeping, I've been staying up late writing my book, and I've also had some terrible headaches + facial pain that have left me crying on the couch wishing I was dead. So I'd better let him sleep.
But, that reminds me - this is an awesome day in more ways than one, because not only did I finish my book, I also, FINALLY, got a conclusive diagnosis of my headaches. Two years of pain I've endured. God knows how much medicine I've pumped into my body to cope; I had my bloods done recently and was really surprised to find that my liver and kidneys were working better than ever, because I was sure I'd f***ed both up royally. Anyway, I had X-rays done and was diagnosed with TMJ dysfunction; my jaw isn't actually misaligned, I've just inflamed it and the trigeminal nerve from clenching my teeth in my sleep for years. Solution: custom-made mouthguard. I can hardly believe that such terrible pain can be remedied by something so simple, but my doctor is very optimistic so I am too.
I feel a bit strange writing about myself all the time, it seems quite narcissistic. But fair dinkum, I'm not being conceited, I'm just so proud of finishing my book. It's
good. At least, I think it is at the moment - I'll probably go over it again tomorrow and see half a dozen areas that need tidying up. And I'm not so deluded as to think it's a marvellous creative piece of work. It's not great literature. But I do think it's a good story told reasonably well. At the moment, that's all I could ask for. I feel satisfied and complete in a way I haven't felt since I completed my Honours thesis four years ago. Whatever happens from now on with this book, I know I worked bloody hard on it, I definitely did my utmost where the research was concerned, and I love it. It's mine. I created it.
I'm sending it off to the Griffith Novella Project tomorrow. If it succeeds, I'll end up with ten grand and a publishing deal. If it doesn't, I'll keep trying to find a publisher. Regardless, if anything ever comes of it, I'll make an announcement on here.