Choose Life

[Dogwatcher]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this - but I needed to write something.

I lost a friend to depression yesterday. This guy was the most friendly, humane, enigmatic and caring bloke I knew. No one was a bad bloke to him. Everyone was a good bloke. It didn't matter how many times he'd decked someone behind play - my friend always thought he was a good bloke.

If your dog died and he was within a hundred kilometres - he'd find a way to somehow take the blame. He cared for people that deeply.

I spent many hours in the car with my friend - travelling to football training and games.

You get to know someone pretty well when you're cooped up in the car and you run out of bullshit to talk about. At some point you have to talk about REAL things. I knew the man had issues and I knew that he couldn't quite tell me all about them. He provided hints that anyone with a perception of humanity would pick up.

He was a bloke who didn't care what people thought about him - because he thought everyone liked him. He couldn't believe that some teams disliked our club, because he thought we were all such good blokes.

I just wish that in all of his talking, he could've chosen one of us to talk to about his problems. Just one of us could've punched a hole through the tunnel he found himself in. I say all this - and know nothing would have changed.

The last time I saw my mate - he was smiling and telling me how good I looked. This is the mate that I'll remember.

This post is not seeking sympathy for my mate, my friends, his family or myself, but for all those who find themselves in a similar situation.

Mental health issues are so prevalent in our society and sometimes we sweep them under the carpet and try to ignore them.

If you know someone who's depressed take care of them - don't shun them. Sometimes in this society we don't like to show or recognise weakness. It's important in this case we do.

If you are depressed, visit the website in my signature below. There are people who can help.

RIP PW.

[Strawb]

Dogwatcher I am sadden for the lose of a true mate. What a top read and there are plenty of people and places out there for help ie Lifeline. When my wife and i lost our first born it brought us closer together and with the help of sids we worked through our problems. We now have two beautiful Twin boys Xavier and Wylie and not a day goes by that i wish they have their older brother their to play with them. We will always tell them about Cooper their other brother but it saddens me to see top blokes like your mate who feel that they have nothing to live for. We need to support everyone and let our friends know that they are truely needed as mates.

[Dutchy]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this - but I needed to write something.

I lost a friend to depression yesterday. This guy was the most friendly, humane, enigmatic and caring bloke I knew. No one was a bad bloke to him. Everyone was a good bloke. It didn't matter how many times he'd decked someone behind play - my friend always thought he was a good bloke.

If your dog died and he was within a hundred kilometres - he'd find a way to somehow take the blame. He cared for people that deeply.

I spent many hours in the car with my friend - travelling to football training and games.

You get to know someone pretty well when you're cooped up in the car and you run out of bullshit to talk about. At some point you have to talk about REAL things. I knew the man had issues and I knew that he couldn't quite tell me all about them. He provided hints that anyone with a perception of humanity would pick up.

He was a bloke who didn't care what people thought about him - because he thought everyone liked him. He couldn't believe that some teams disliked our club, because he thought we were all such good blokes.

I just wish that in all of his talking, he could've chosen one of us to talk to about his problems. Just one of us could've punched a hole through the tunnel he found himself in. I say all this - and know nothing would have changed.

The last time I saw my mate - he was smiling and telling me how good I looked. This is the mate that I'll remember.

This post is not seeking sympathy for my mate, my friends, his family or myself, but for all those who find themselves in a similar situation.

Mental health issues are so prevalent in our society and sometimes we sweep them under the carpet and try to ignore them.

If you know someone who's depressed take care of them - don't shun them. Sometimes in this society we don't like to show or recognise weakness. It's important in this case we do.

If you are depressed, visit the website in my signature below. There are people who can help.

RIP PW.

well said Doggie, someone very close to me going through the same stuff, every day is a challenge, just hope he chooses the right way when he comes to the fork in the road of life...commiserations

[smac]

My sympathies to anyone who has lost someone to depression.

Sadly, I think most people know someone with depression - whether we know it or not. Make sure they are getting the help they need and provide support whenever you can.

[MagicKiwi]

Must be about six or seven years ago now, a good friend finally managed to do the deed - his third attempt. He left behind two grown and very successful sons and many many friends including his ex-wife who were deeply saddened. A very successful and popular man.

I know this is going to sound odd but it was almost a relief knowing that he wasn't fighting his demons anymore - and that the thing we most dreaded had finally happened. No more wondering when. His funeral was packed to the rafters and you wonder how this can be. Ah well.

In his case, no amount of talking about it could make it better. It simply got too hard.

Beyond Blue is the organisation he requested we donate to instead of flowers at his funeral.

[BenchedEagle]

Sincere condolances to you and your football club on the loss mate.

I went through nearly the same situation a few years back with one of my best mates. I really knew i had to talk to him and i think he wanted to talk to me but we couldnt break through that barrier of "manlyness" to talk deeply about his problems. We would start talking then he would start gettin emotional and i was too scared to push even further coz i didnt want to see him cry, as he hated "being a lil pussy" His words, not mine. It just got swept under the carpet and he drank, smoked and snorted some more pain releif!

2 Days later he gassed himself in his car. Well i was messed up for a long time after that. Blamed myself for not helping him enough. It took myself getting depressed and me not being able to talk to anyone to realise how hard it was for him and to not blame myself. As hard as i tried too i just couldnt bring myself to talk about my life to anyone. Fortunatly for me i met a great girl in that time, kept a optimistic outlook no matter how i felt and my depression just sorta dissapated and i was ok. But its not that easy for some. Things just go from bad to worse in a downward spiral that u feel u cant get out of. Then when u feel theyre is no hope there is only one option. Which is sad because theyre is always a way out. Just have to Swallow your pride and ask for help.

Places like beyond blue are great and every time i see a big sportsman come out and admit they too are depressed and are getting help it makes me feel good coz i know it makes it less of a stigma to being a male and depressed.
One footballer getting help for it may lead to 2 men realising they too need help and do something about it.

[dinglinga]

is it time beyond blue with funds from the federal goverment started educating sporting clubs....


we know amongst ourselves that we cowardly say oh he is a sissy for crying etc but is the problem even deeper than that

we all have times were we feel sh*te, lonely etc

one of the main ppl behind beyond blue is jeff kennett

wonder what most vics will say bout that

[power01]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this - but I needed to write something.

I lost a friend to depression yesterday. This guy was the most friendly, humane, enigmatic and caring bloke I knew. No one was a bad bloke to him. Everyone was a good bloke. It didn't matter how many times he'd decked someone behind play - my friend always thought he was a good bloke.

If your dog died and he was within a hundred kilometres - he'd find a way to somehow take the blame. He cared for people that deeply.

I spent many hours in the car with my friend - travelling to football training and games.

You get to know someone pretty well when you're cooped up in the car and you run out of bullshit to talk about. At some point you have to talk about REAL things. I knew the man had issues and I knew that he couldn't quite tell me all about them. He provided hints that anyone with a perception of humanity would pick up.

He was a bloke who didn't care what people thought about him - because he thought everyone liked him. He couldn't believe that some teams disliked our club, because he thought we were all such good blokes.

I just wish that in all of his talking, he could've chosen one of us to talk to about his problems. Just one of us could've punched a hole through the tunnel he found himself in. I say all this - and know nothing would have changed.

The last time I saw my mate - he was smiling and telling me how good I looked. This is the mate that I'll remember.

This post is not seeking sympathy for my mate, my friends, his family or myself, but for all those who find themselves in a similar situation.

Mental health issues are so prevalent in our society and sometimes we sweep them under the carpet and try to ignore them.

If you know someone who's depressed take care of them - don't shun them. Sometimes in this society we don't like to show or recognise weakness. It's important in this case we do.

If you are depressed, visit the website in my signature below. There are people who can help.

RIP PW.

Yeah Dogwatcher its a very sad, tragic and vile condition, it is so debilitating and literally rips the heart out of any sufferer...........In most cases a difficult thing to detect because many suffers (including myself) have become very good at hiding the issues and on the surface appear "normal".........that is one of the hardest things as some people will say "you dont look sick" or "nothing wrong with you" or the classic "just pull your finger out and get on with it"................which i can assure you its not that easy.....(hell i wish it was).....
Tragically Dogwatcher i think i know the person your refering to and yes a really good guy and a bloke that had is heart in the right place....

Great post Dogwatcher..........Well Done Son!!!