Schitzenfaced

[Punk Rooster]

Am off there shortly. Tell my wife & kids I love them!

[Dog_ger]

Hey Punk, Give us a full report when ya sober up..?

[TroyGFC]

Still recoverring from a big day-night-morning. Good time except they ran out of cannned spirits early yet again.

[Punk Rooster]

I haven't sobered up yet (the berrocas are being consumed with the same vigour as yesterdays drinking), but it was a good day. I rang Adelaide Impressions, as my preferred conveyance to Bonython Park AND GOT CHARGED $20 FROM RICHMOND TO BP!!!!! FFS! (hint a big f#$kin rip off). Still reeling from the taxi (un)fare, I stumbled dazed & confused into Mecca. Purchased required Stein, went to open the batting with a Sparkling Ale, guess what? No Spakling Ale! Now I realise Coopers is about as German as the 5 cent piece, but if they're gonna set up there, why not offer all your products? It is a Beer Drinking Festival afterall!(anyone claiming different is mentally unwell) So my second blow of the day was struck, settled for a Lager (i think). As a lover of food, I made it my point to get something to eat before getting down to business. Grabbed a Hot Dog with german sausage, cheese & mustard. Quite nice, 8.5/10. Kept drinking Coopers, grabbed myself a potato thing, hint to the people running this stall- pehaps cooking more than 5 at a time would be a handy way to keep waiting times down? Went to the shooting gallery, fancied myself as a dead-eye dick, proud to say I got a 9 (one wad pierced between the 8 & 10), the rest was nothing to write home about. I was dismayed that you can't drink & shoot at the same time, it's the American way of life. They were also pretty strict on the fact you couldn't use these guns to vent your spleen on the crowd (or in my case, the Coopers tent). A bloke called "Maximus" was guzzling pints in the tent I was in. Put on a show for the crowd, but the baby was seen sipping water between attempts. Not to be outdone, a mate & I sculled our steins aswell. We didn't need a crowd (mainly because I wasn't sure if I could or keep it down). I did have to go for a walk afterwards, as the gasses were trying to erupt like Vesuvius, but it was released without lunch or beer being brought up. I'll point out that I was now on proper German beer by this stage, DAB. When they ran out of that, I switched to Hansa. Don't ask me to rate these beers, I'm not a conniseur, I drink to forget. Some light rain fell, whichoffered relief to the crowd, & I was hoping some type of Woodstockesque mud wrestling might break out. Wasn't to be, all the lasses I saw kept their clothes on. Ate another potato thing, kept drinking, kept getting hassled/complimented/mugged for the fact I was wearing a Necastle t-shirt. Are you a geordie? Why not? How can you support Newcastle if your not? Who was NUFC best player in the 50's? How come you have an english accent? It's not a geordie accent etc... FFS I support the club, I didn't build the city! A table full of girls were ready to bed me all at once, if I was a geordie. I don't even know what they sound like, so as pissed as i was, I couldn't even lie my way through it (note- I don't actually have wife & kids, I am single). Kept on drinking, went to the ATM, waited in line for a 1/2 hour, actually thought the bank might be there in person interviewing people for loans, such was the wait. As it got dark, the festivities stepped up a gear. Bands were playing, I didn't hear any oompah, doesn't mean it wasn't there. I felt like I was at the BDO, wandering around drunk, loud music, girls all dressed the same with ridiculous oversized glasses. Shorts seem to be the go for the ladies these days also. Stumbling around talking to girls that might be slightly interested, was now the order of the day. Best mates telling each other "I luv ya mate" was quite common. The odd knuckle broke out, nothing too serious. Now being quite seriously drunk, I decided to taste the Hocks. Now, this is not an easy thing to eat at the best of times (I'd imagine), but I managed to get enough in my mouth. Beer supplies were now starting to dwindle, so I switched to good old-fashioned spirits. I also started text messaging old casual g/friends, threatening to get amorous with them. They all sensibly pretended to be washing their hair. Festivities came to a close, the odd fight again broke out as people were leaving, caught a taxi into town, and kept on drinking. Arrived home 7 this morning. Til next year. (Ps I think they should combine the Schutzenfest & BDO)

[Punk Rooster]

PS also had Tar Tar, which was quite nice (sans onions). Tasted the smoked (insert name of some fish).

[Booney]

LMFAO Punky,no one unravels a riddle like you. New Years,what a saga,and Shitzen,Drunk!

[Rik E Boy]

An excellent review Punkybrooster. Regarding the Tyneside accent, I suggest you watch a bit of UKTV for some tips. Cripes, you could have at least put on a scouser accent or something. You must of been hammered

regards,

REB

[Wedgie]

I stopped going about 4 years ago when it changed from a German festival to a PissedIdiots festival (I was one of those so can't complain).
Never the same since they stopped the 1 litre glass steins.

Answer me this though, as much as I love Coopers Pale, I'd always drink the German beer as it is a German festival, you know when it Rome do as the Roman's do, etc, etc. I could never understand why people would go to a once a year German festival and drink Coopers, might as well as set up a McDonalds tent as well.

[JK]

LMFAO Punky thats a keeper mate ... Sadly over previous years attendance I can thoroughly relate to pretty much everything it contains

[Wedgie]

Punky, were you ever taught about paragraphs as a kid?

[Punk Rooster]

Punky, were you ever taught about paragraphs as a kid?

I take it I'm no longer in the running for a Pulitzer Prize then?
If you want to see paragraphs, I'll write a story on Geelong's Grand Final failures. There'll be enough material there

[Wedgie]

Punky, were you ever taught about paragraphs as a kid?

I take it I'm no longer in the running for a Pulitzer Prize then?
If you want to see paragraphs, I'll write a story on Geelong's Grand Final failures. There'll be enough material there

Can you make it a fictional piece of prose so they can actualy win this time around please?

[Punk Rooster]

Punky, were you ever taught about paragraphs as a kid?

I take it I'm no longer in the running for a Pulitzer Prize then?
If you want to see paragraphs, I'll write a story on Geelong's Grand Final failures. There'll be enough material there

Can you make it a fictional piece of prose so they can actualy win this time around please?

Yes, there'll be Pro's in my story!

[Rik E Boy]

Come on Punkybrooster. Get writing champ, anything to cheer up us manic depressive Cat fans who have spent the last four months shaking our heads and muttering to ourselves 'one second, one second'.

regards,

REB

[Dog_ger]

Us Dog's supporters do that to REB..?

[JK]

Same with the Eagles fans .. Except they generally complain about 4 seconds ...

[Jimmy]

A table full of girls were ready to bed me all at once, if I was a geordie. I don't even know what they sound like, so as pissed as i was, I couldn't even lie my way through it

at the norwood hotel a few (5) years back, saturday night...drunk as a skunk...ran into a bevy of 5 lasses...thought id try out my english accent on them...since there were 5 (all dumb as dogshit too), i each tried on them separately my english, irish and scottish accents, even threw in a welsh one too (altho they all sound the same lol), ended up kissing 4 of them, but they didnt know that until later on as i got drunker, i had forgotten which accent i had used on which girl...needless to say, each began to find out my devious plan and was given icey stares and physical threats for the duration of the night...altho i and my mates found it ******* funny, they didnt....lol!!!!