Fisho's Frolics

[fisho mcspaz]

My first cricket coach always told us: "Better waking up with a dick drawn on your face than a franger hanging out the back"

I will have to remember that one! Coaches say the best things. There was one that Mr McSpaz had in juniors, one of his teammates was kicking for goal, he missed it and went 'F***!' and the coach yelled 'Don't say 'F***', say 'Concentrate'!' It became their team slogan in the end.

[fisho mcspaz]

Thanks everyone for your encouraging feedback. I'll put some more up soon!

[Footy Chick]

When I lived in Horsham, the U17's coach was big on the slogan "Dont think - DO!

It's still a fave saying amongst the boys 12 years later

[Choccies]

While we're on special sayings.... When I was a little fella and hanging on for dear life to 'number twos' my old man used to say "Better an empty house than a bad tennant"........

[Iron Fist]

When we were in div back in 2007, we had a coach that came up with a few cracker quotes
we still use them for a laugh today.
my favourite was

"follow your player around the field like your following a girl around the discotec"

then there was during a big game when we were down.

"you can go down in football history... uhhh well at least div 4 history"

"do it for the miners" (this was in reference to those 2 blokes that were stuck down a mine shaft)

there are others but they aint as funny unless you put on the coaches voice.

[schimma]

one of my old coaches loved to use

the balls a pussy go get it

and

if its to be its up to me!!

[Media Park]

Stick to him like a glove... Like a condom on your d***...

I copped that a few times... played loose*

[fisho mcspaz]

I recently discovered a novel I wrote when I was fourteen years old. I'm pretty embarrassed about it but I always said to myself that this blog thread was going to be warts and all, so here we go.

On one level, it was tripe. But so is V. C. Andrews. (Whose writing I probably modelled this story after. I think I was about fourteen when I discovered her.) On the other hand, it was a reasonably well-crafted novel, demonstrating a standard linear plotline (obstacle, obstacle, climax, denouement in accordance with the progression of time) with characters that were reasonably likeable - at least, I didn't want to kill them off by the time I'd got to the third chapter - and it was all grammatically correct. So I am thinking I might have a crack at re-editing it and try to get it published under a pseudonym. I will have to make the bad guy a bit badder, though - she was a cantankerous, wishy-washy old woman who adopts the two main protagonists (twins) after their mother carks it (breast cancer). I need to turn her into a Joan Crawford, 'NO WIRE COAT HANGERS EVER!' sort of foster-mother. Also, I might have to make it so that someone has sex in it. At fourteen, I hadn't done it yet so I certainly wasn't going to write about it. But sex sells. Also, one of the twins lost her eyesight when a tramp threw acid at her (yes, I'm serious). I think I will have to change that so that she still goes blind for a decent interval, but owing to a psychological reason - I believe the correct term is 'conversion disorder', formerly known as 'hysterical blindness' - as opposed to a physical one.

Anyway, I think the one I'm currently writing might be a bit more realistic.

[Q.]

I started writing a novel in Yr 12 as a protest to doing actual study. High school finished though and I abandoned it after realising I knew nothing about life so how the hell could I write a novel! I still know very little, but I'm hoping by the time I'm 80 that I'll have enough material

[trev]

1985 Pizza Hut Cup final @ Adelaide Oval.Norwood HS V Morilalta HS (Yep, before the merge!)
3/4 time Mighty Morialta down by 5 points kicking into a 5 goal wind
Former Roosters player Mel Gilmour coaching
His motivational speech?
"Boys, if the balls not moving, KICK IT TILL IT DOES!
We won by 7 points.

Have since found the same theory can be applied to most household appliances.

[fisho mcspaz]

My high school football coach was a tripper! He was always a bit uptight and gruff at school and on the footy field - but what a difference on the weekend! He was a Central Districts supporter and I used to run into him whenever they played the Eagles. He would always be going off his trolley, bellowing the most inappropriate things. He used to yell things at me - once I was with my dad and he was like 'What's wrong with this idiot?' and I had to explain that this was my football coach. But it was all in good fun. We used to have bets on the outcome of the game and pay up the following Monday.

[fisho mcspaz]

If the Liberals win this election, I'll eat a millipede.

[Media Park]

If the Liberals win this election, I'll eat a millipede.

The Libs are no chance Fisho...

The COALITION on the other hand...

[fisho mcspaz]

Well, well, the moment of truth arrives. Off to vote this morning - at least I will be if I can motivate myself to get up and get dressed. Maybe I'll just go to the polling booth in my PJs and hair standing straight up, there will be plenty of other freaks so I shouldn't be too much of a novelty. For some reason the Family First people always target me in the same manner of strange people at the Noarlunga Centre train station. Mr McSpaz says it's because I must look like a patient person who will listen to what they have to say. But when I tell them I'm a Communist they lose interest. (I'm not, by the way. Communism only works in theory.)

I'm reading one of my old Enid Blyton books - The Secret Mountain - and marvelling at the past age of innocence. Golliwogs were only the tip of the iceberg. I remember in one of the Secret Seven books, the kids who weren't allowed to be in the Secret Seven made up a rival gang and invented a mystery to solve, complete with villains Stumpy Dick and Twisty Tom. 'Whatever will you do if Stumpy Dick comes after you, Jeff?' 'I shall knock him to the ground!' Also, Enid seemed to have a real bone to pick with gypsies. As a child, I had no idea what a gypsy was but I figured I'd be able to recognise one by the fact that they were always going around wiping their runny noses on their sleeves and stealing the ducks from the local farms. How times have changed. Calling your child Dick or Fanny now would be seen as a form of cruelty - even though names like Madison and Jet are apparently de rigueur - whipping has been replaced by behavioural therapy, and frankly, if Mr Pink-Whistle was going around nowadays trying to do good deeds, he'd have been apprehended in the Mullighan inquiry.

Anyway, I'm starting to get glares from the rest of the family, which translates into 'Brush your hair and put some clothes on so we can go to the polling booth' - so I shall jolly well put down my Enid Blyton book and my computer, buck up and go and vote for this smashing country.

[Media Park]

I think you are more valuable posting on this site than voting...

[fisho mcspaz]

Been pretty quiet on here... it's because I'm writing a piece on old computer games and I've actually got to think seriously about it as opposed to just typing out the ramblings that come into my head. I will post it tomorrow after I come back from the dump. We are going to take all our crap that we should have left behind at our old house down to Pedler Creek. I was excited about this until I learnt that fossicking is no longer allowed at the dump. (I haven't been there since I was five.) As far as I know, you can still fossick in the dump at Yankalilla but Mr McSpaz said no when I asked if we could perhaps extend our dumping journey a few kilometres (or thirty).

Ooooh, Matthew Primus is on TV. I cannot see him without remembering that picture from the Sunday Mail when he did his knee and cried and dribbled a great string of phlegm from his chin to his leg.

Anyway, I am extremely tired so I'll cut this short and hope that I've got something worth reading to post tomorrow. Mwah. xx

[Pseudo]

Been pretty quiet on here... it's because I'm writing a piece on old computer games and I've actually got to think seriously about it as opposed to just typing out the ramblings that come into my head.

Define "old computer games". Pong? Star Trek? Hunt the Wumpus? Or am I just showing my age here

[Magpiespower]

Define "old computer games". Pong? Star Trek? Hunt the Wumpus? Or am I just showing my age here

Defender, Frogger, Pac-Man, Pitfall...

Hand-held double-screen Nintendo Donkey Kong...

Classics...

[fisho mcspaz]

Been pretty quiet on here... it's because I'm writing a piece on old computer games and I've actually got to think seriously about it as opposed to just typing out the ramblings that come into my head.

Define "old computer games". Pong? Star Trek? Hunt the Wumpus? Or am I just showing my age here

Granny's F***ing Garden, for starters. And Commander Keen. He was awesome.

[Media Park]

Commander Keen! <3