Things that give you the sh1ts

[aceman]

my cat pissing on my footy boots

If it p*sses as much as my neighbours bloody thing does it'll save you "hosing them off" Turpentine on his small sixpence will fix it, he'll get to Port Auguste before the pain stops.

[Rik E Boy]

That we have watch two bottom clubs on fox and 10. That we miss out on the match of the round Bulldogs and Geelong

The way we've been handballing around in circles all year long it could be a blessing in disguise.

regards,

REB

[Lunchcutter]

My astronomical gas bill. I think we will have to use the heater more sparingly now. Time to break out my blanky and hot water bottle again...

Why does everything have to be so expensive? I think I'm going to turn Socialist.

I can sympathise with you here Fisho... my quarterly gas bill is around 800 big ones (and that's every quarter, not just winter for heating)... since my DH died, I now pay this bill on my one wage and boy is it a hit!! Oh well, the price I pay to run my heated swimming pool year round at 26 degrees... (I also find swimming very beneficial in aiding my weight loss)

[Psyber]

My astronomical gas bill. I think we will have to use the heater more sparingly now. Time to break out my blanky and hot water bottle again...
Why does everything have to be so expensive? I think I'm going to turn Socialist.

I'd expect a socialist system controlling energy supply would lead to it becoming both a bureaucracy run by thousands of clerks, and also a hidden tax, and in the long run put your bills up!

[Lightning McQueen]

Earthmoving vehicles occupying the roadways during peak hour traffic, had a front-end loader travelling on a 90km/h road doing about 35 and didn't have the decency to move to the side a bit to allow some of the 20 odd cars behind him through.

[Pseudo]

Earthmoving vehicles occupying the roadways during peak hour traffic, had a front-end loader travelling on a 90km/h road doing about 35 and didn't have the decency to move to the side a bit to allow some of the 20 odd cars behind him through.

Yesterday morning I was following a Great Big Juggernaut up at Ed Parks when the driver decided to pull over on the one-lane road, meaning that I (and cars behind me) would have to pull out onto the other side of the road to get past it.

It wouldn't have been a problem, except the a***hole in the cab chose to pull over _exactly_ where there are those raised bumpy things embedded in the road, specifically to discourage drivers from crossing the median.

A***hole.

[fisho mcspaz]

My parents thinking it was a good idea to have godparents for my sister and me. I have a godfather who was a friend and colleague of my father; my sister has a godmother who is a former high-school student of my mother.

Currently my godfather is in Long Bay prison for drug trafficking after he was arrested at Sydney Airport with several packages of cocaine he'd brought from Thailand. (He was bloody lucky he got caught in Australia and not Thailand.)

My sister's godmother apparently suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder and is terrified of dirt but somehow exists in a house with mice and mould and all sorts. (Maybe that's why she's so nuts - the dirt feeds her illness. By the way, I'm not having a crack at OCD sufferers - I've got mental health issues myself.) Anyway, she is also very religious and keeps trying to convert my sister to her brand of fanatical Christianity. And I mean fanatical - she got banned from the Life FM radio station because she used to harass everyone there. She also brings rosary beads and St Christopher's medallions and stuff around the house for my sister. Lately she discovered that my sister was on Facebook so she tried to add her as a friend, then got her email address off my mum and bombarded her with 'why won't you accept my friend request' emails, then when that didn't work she rang the house continually. She even rang Mum and asked her for my sister's work number at the RAH but fortunately Mum realised that was going too far. The only reason she is even a part of our lives is because Mum has felt sorry for this woman ever since she was at school, because she has a moustache and hardly any friends (Mum likes to look after all the lame ducks of the world). That would be fair enough except she has really taken advantage of Mum's friendship and used her problems to guilt-trip Mum into taking her on as godmother for my sister. When her own mother died her first words were - I sh1t you not - 'Who's going to cook my breakfast now?' Anyway, the long and short of it is that my sis has had enough of godparents to last her a lifetime and wants Mum to tell her godmother not to contact her again. Mum doesn't want to hurt this woman's feelings but I told her she's just going to have to do it, because she was the one that handed out my sister's email address.

[Pseudo]

Fisho:

1. Dress your sister up in a ceremonial robe, stand her in the middle of a pentagram scrawled on the ground in blood, clutching an athame to her breast.

2. Take picture.

3. Post picture on fecesbook (sic).

4. Have your sister accept the nutter's friend request.

You shouldn't hear from her again

[(S)aintbackline]

My parents thinking it was a good idea to have godparents for my sister and me. I have a godfather who was a friend and colleague of my father; my sister has a godmother who is a former high-school student of my mother.

Currently my godfather is in Long Bay prison for drug trafficking after he was arrested at Sydney Airport with several packages of cocaine he'd brought from Thailand. (He was bloody lucky he got caught in Australia and not Thailand.)

My sister's godmother apparently suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder and is terrified of dirt but somehow exists in a house with mice and mould and all sorts. (Maybe that's why she's so nuts - the dirt feeds her illness. By the way, I'm not having a crack at OCD sufferers - I've got mental health issues myself.) Anyway, she is also very religious and keeps trying to convert my sister to her brand of fanatical Christianity. And I mean fanatical - she got banned from the Life FM radio station because she used to harass everyone there. She also brings rosary beads and St Christopher's medallions and stuff around the house for my sister. Lately she discovered that my sister was on Facebook so she tried to add her as a friend, then got her email address off my mum and bombarded her with 'why won't you accept my friend request' emails, then when that didn't work she rang the house continually. She even rang Mum and asked her for my sister's work number at the RAH but fortunately Mum realised that was going too far. The only reason she is even a part of our lives is because Mum has felt sorry for this woman ever since she was at school, because she has a moustache and hardly any friends (Mum likes to look after all the lame ducks of the world). That would be fair enough except she has really taken advantage of Mum's friendship and used her problems to guilt-trip Mum into taking her on as godmother for my sister. When her own mother died her first words were - I sh1t you not - 'Who's going to cook my breakfast now?' Anyway, the long and short of it is that my sis has had enough of godparents to last her a lifetime and wants Mum to tell her godmother not to contact her again. Mum doesn't want to hurt this woman's feelings but I told her she's just going to have to do it, because she was the one that handed out my sister's email address.

LOL just tell her she is a nutter, most people dont take the option of being honest, I would rather be honest with this women so that hopefully she may realise she needs a bit of help.

'Who's going to cook my breakfast now?' - Thats one of the few concerns i have in my life LOL

[Media Park]

Maybe you need to take the godparents under YOUR wing, and help raise them with the right values...

That would make you a GOD of a parent...

[fisho mcspaz]

Fisho:

1. Dress your sister up in a ceremonial robe, stand her in the middle of a pentagram scrawled on the ground in blood, clutching an athame to her breast.

2. Take picture.

3. Post picture on fecesbook (sic).

4. Have your sister accept the nutter's friend request.

You shouldn't hear from her again

I did debate this with my mum - I thought it might be a goer, but Mum reckons it might make Mad Godmother even more determined to save my sister from an eternity in Hell.

[fisho mcspaz]

Maybe you need to take the godparents under YOUR wing, and help raise them with the right values...

That would make you a GOD of a parent...

Ugh. They can both bugger off as far as I'm concerned. There's no point in helping people that are so completely selfish and unwilling to help themselves. I've got all the time in the world for some people, but not those two!

[fisho mcspaz]

MY DENTIST. I got some work done this morning without sedation. I managed to keep a lid on things until I got out of the surgery and into the car, then nearly crashed into a tree driving home because I was so wound up. Ever since a dentist drilled a hole in one of my gums by accident, I have been worried about dentists. I know it's ridiculous but it's true: I am afraid of getting my teeth drilled. The surgery is fully aware of this - anxiety at the dentist is pretty standard - and usually they give me N20. Anyway, Angus saw the look on my face when I got home and now he's scared of going to the dentist. F***ing terrific.

[Interceptor]

MY DENTIST. I got some work done this morning without sedation. I managed to keep a lid on things until I got out of the surgery and into the car, then nearly crashed into a tree driving home because I was so wound up. Ever since a dentist drilled a hole in one of my gums by accident, I have been worried about dentists. I know it's ridiculous but it's true: I am afraid of getting my teeth drilled. The surgery is fully aware of this - anxiety at the dentist is pretty standard - and usually they give me N20. Anyway, Angus saw the look on my face when I got home and now he's scared of going to the dentist. F***ing terrific.

Some dentists use lasers now instead of drills -much better!

Depends how far you care to travel, but when I was in Adelaide there was a practice in the CBD that used laser technology.

[ORDoubleBlues]

Oops, sorry Dick, where do I give my 3 daughters back to help the country?

If he was a pollie, he would have no hope!

He'd have lot's of hope as he isn't afraid to tell actual truth rather than pussyfooting around

[Thiele]

That Westies keep losing At the Moment

[JAS]

Every airline seems to have a different limit on the dimensions for carry-on hand luggage...pain in the butt trying to work out who's is the minimum if you have to use more than one airline for a trip...standardize it across the industry you b******s

Regards
JAS

[Thiele]

Bloody Fraudmantle losing costing me getting 8

[heater31]

Bloody Fraudmantle losing costing me getting 8

ditto.....every freaking time these clowns let me down

[dedja]

Channel 9 for trying to create news by employing Mark Latham and then bagging him at every opportunity.

Nothing like shameless self promotion for the sake of it.