Fisho's Frolics

[Baron Greenback]

You had me at 'breast pump'

Should have kept going then... She talked about having big tits a bit later!

Yes, but their value is cancelled out by the fact that I am a midget. (Not a real one, otherwise I'd hire myself out to parties.)

Says who ???

That's right. Tits are tits.

[Media Park]

amen baron

[Dogwatcher]

That's right. Tits are tits.

I just choked. It is not clever to guffaw when one has a chest full of phlegm.

You are such a wise man Baron.

[Baron Greenback]

That's right. Tits are tits.

I just choked. It is not clever to guffaw when one has a chest full of phlegm.

You are such a wise man Baron.

I like to give out pearls of wisdom like that from time to time...

[Dogwatcher]

I coughed pearls of another kind.
Actually, more like green oysters.

[fisho mcspaz]

Well, today was largely uneventful. Now I know why I do not normally partake of Sparkling Ale. I only had three but I woke up with a head bigger than a blue whale's bum and a mouth like someone had taken a dump in it and then wiped it out with a scourer. I shall be abstaining from alcohol for the rest of the year though (footy prezzo night excepted) - after going without a drink for most of my pregnancy it was good to have a couple of sessions but enough's enough. I've got two little ones and Sparkling Ale does not fit in with my ideal of a responsible parent, even if the kids have gone down to sleep for the night.

Seriously, NOTHING happened today though. The most exciting moment was when Mr McSpaz informed me that The Wizard of Oz would be on TV tonight, prompting me to break out into a chorus of 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road'. I don't think I'll do that again. I frightened the cat and woke Luke up and gave myself a sore throat. My partner gave me an odd look as if to say 'Babe, I don't think Pantera ever did that song'.

Exciting baby update: I put Lukey down on his jungle playmat on his tummy and he held his head up for quite a long time. He was pumping his little arms and legs but unfortunately they were all in the air so he stayed on the spot. But he'll be rocketing around soon! He's four months old now and absolutely shrieks with laughter whenever he sees his own feet. I wish I could find feet that amusing - most of my humour revolves around the noises brass instruments make, and then Mum tells me I'm childish. (I can't help it. Every time I hear a tuba or a trombone I crack up. It doesn't matter where I am. When I was married it made things a tad awkward because all of my ex-husband's family played a brass instrument and two of his cousins were Juilliard graduates in the trombone.)

Crows to play in half an hour - frankly I don't know why I still watch AFL. Two things have killed the game in my opinion: the hands-in-the-back rule, and too much money. At least in local footy there's still the chance of seeing a good shirtfront.

[devilsadvocate]

Fisho, I reckon you're Larry David. Honestly, he's the only other person in the world that can make a day full of nothing humorous. That was classic.

[HH3]

you missed the shirtfront of all shirtfronts...Hackham V Marion M Paine...

[heater31]

I second DA's comments

Wet my self laughing with yesterday's post

[Punk Rooster]

Hahaha, well played. Although, I'm a little disappointed that the alpaca doesn't have tits!

This thread is going to be hilarious.

fixed.

[fisho mcspaz]

Hahaha, well played. Although, I'm a little disappointed that the alpaca doesn't have tits!

This thread is going to be hilarious.

fixed.

[Alaska]

Fisho,

Now that you have left the “Sparkling Ale”…. Please show your superior intellect that I believe has been missing in this thread thus far!

[fisho mcspaz]

Fisho,

Now that you have left the “Sparkling Ale”…. Please show your superior intellect that I believe has been missing in this thread thus far!

Are you serious or taking the piss? I can't think of anything particularly intellectual to say right now! I have been working on my novel but even that hasn't stretched my brain overmuch. I'm having a bit of trouble with it but it's a standard dilemma - incorporating the social duty of the writer into a comedy novel. For instance, because of the novel being set in country SA, I've got to consider current issues such as the drought, and work out how best to represent them. I can't ignore these issues for a number of reasons - I want my work to be taken seriously; I've got to include this stuff because the novel is part of my Ph.D and the markers place a lot of emphasis on the writer's social duty; and most of all, I'm writing this book not only for myself but also for other people to read it and get something out of it, and I don't want to shortchange anyone by going into this task half-arsed. The problem lies in discussing something like the drought in a humorous context without trivialising it. It's a delicate balance to strike. Similarly, my characters sometimes behave in ways that are unethical, and unless the reader's meant to dislike them, I've somehow got to justify their actions or at least make them sympathetic. I'll give you an example: my main character, Jase, is playing in the last footy match of the minor round and his opponent keeps eluding him. Finally Jase, out of frustration, tries to put him off with the old 'your missus was a good root' sledge - not realising that she's dead from cancer - and when the other bloke tells him, 'You prick, my wife died two years ago', he responds with 'Well, I reckon that's why she didn't put up much of a fight then.' In order to get away with writing that I had to a) let Jase's opponent give him a good dusting-up before the umpire stepped in; b) get Jase to make a sincere apology to him before the tribunal.

Anyway, I don't think any of the above was very demonstrative of a superior intellect but it'll have to do. I'm off to bed.

[Dogwatcher]

I'll give you an example: my main character, Jase, is playing in the last footy match of the minor round and his opponent keeps eluding him. Finally Jase, out of frustration, tries to put him off with the old 'your missus was a good root' sledge - not realising that she's dead from cancer - and when the other bloke tells him, 'You prick, my wife died two years ago', he responds with 'Well, I reckon that's why she didn't put up much of a fight then.

Funnily enough, I've been involved in an on-field altercation in which that sort of transfer of conversation occurred.

[Q.]

Fisho, how do you feel about people in your life misinterpreting your fiction as fact? Writers draw on their own life experiences for substance, but just as one sentence might drawn from an exact moment, the next sentence could be pure creativity - do you worry that family and friends might interpret it all too literally?

[devilsadvocate]

Were you doing the sledging dw?
I've been in a similar altercation too.
Gets pretty fisty punchy actually.

[fisho mcspaz]

Hmmm... not off to bed quite just yet. Now that the Crows have won, I've got an observation to make. What's the odds that tomorrow's Advertiser will have Neil Craig's face plastered over the back page with 'Craigy's Champions' or 'The Master Tames Hapless Cats'? Never mind that everyone's been calling for his head since the Crows dropped their first match. I'm not saying that's necessarily good, bad, fair or unfair - it's just interesting. That when a team fails to perform, the ensuing ire is directed primarily at the coach, not the players - but when the same team wins the big one, I'd be willing to bet that the coach would get the majority of the accolades even if he had vindaloo the night before and spent three-quarters of the game on the bog. The words 'symbol' and 'pseudo-deity' are both rolling around in my head at the moment but I'm not sure which one fits or to what extent. (Will dwell on this later.)

Quichey, I'll reply to your question tomorrow because I've got a whole lot to say about that - it's something I think about constantly! But now I AM off to bed... dentist tomorrow and I know she's going to tell me I need a root canal. On the other hand, I will get laughing gas for a root canal so all is not a vale of tears.

[Dogwatcher]

Fisho, how do you feel about people in your life misinterpreting your fiction as fact? Writers draw on their own life experiences for substance, but just as one sentence might drawn from an exact moment, the next sentence could be pure creativity - do you worry that family and friends might interpret it all too literally?

I'm heading dangerously into Psyber territory here but I'm currently reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabikov. I have been considering this exact question. Throughout my initial readings of this book, I've been wondering if any of the lead protagonist's desires were based upon VN's real life fantasies. Given, on some investigation into VN's work, the story appears to be a common thread in his work, it makes you wonder...it must be a fine line that writers of all persuasions tread.
I'm sure Fisho could have written all of the above guff in a far more humurous style than myself.

[GWW]

I'll give you an example: my main character, Jase, is playing in the last footy match of the minor round and his opponent keeps eluding him. Finally Jase, out of frustration, tries to put him off with the old 'your missus was a good root' sledge - not realising that she's dead from cancer - and when the other bloke tells him, 'You prick, my wife died two years ago', he responds with 'Well, I reckon that's why she didn't put up much of a fight then.' In order to get away with writing that I had to a) let Jase's opponent give him a good dusting-up before the umpire stepped in; b) get Jase to make a sincere apology to him before the tribunal.

fisho, are you using real town and football club names in your novel or have you made them up?

[sherminator]

Fisho, you are my new hero! After reading a couple of your posts I wondered if you were a professional writer. Very entertaining! I am glad you are not writing a childrens book for your Phd. The illustrations might scare a few of the kiddies! Keep up the good work!