Park Cricket Sledges

First Class Cricket Talk (International and State)

Park Cricket Sledges

Postby Corona Man » Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:15 am

Interested to know some of the better Park Cricket Sledges you have heard over the years.

Had one on the weekend, in my game, that was kind of funny.......

Bloke comes out to bat in their second innings, having made not too many runs in their first dig.

Batter checks guard - "Centre thanks ump"

CM chirps from Gully - "Reckon you should take Leg Mate..... you lost that pole last week"

Batter grins - "Centre thanks ump"

CM - "Up to you mate"

Batter faces up, Bowler lets it go....... Leg Stump goes cartwheeling out of the ground.

Slips piss themselves.

Batter Trudges off.....
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby Booney » Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:24 am

Played against the bloke several times and know he just can't get anything away off his pads.

He takes guard, the skipper is shuffling the off side field about and says to fine leg, square leg and mid on "You blokes, want to go take a seat or you happy just to watch us field from there?"
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby Lightning McQueen » Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:29 am

There's a few in here:

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=20920
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby Corona Man » Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:35 am

Played with a 'keeper' one day who was having a shocker, didn't glove the ball clean the entire innings, dropped a chance or two, missed a run out etc.

As we come of the ground a bloke turned to him, and asked "are you heading out to town tonight?", the keeper replied yeah I am actually. Bloke replied..... " I wouldn't bother grabbing some condoms before you go...... you're not catching anything mate"
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby locky801 » Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:37 am

Not so much a sledge but a set up which we all after the game found quite funny.

Was playing for Enfield in a semi final against Trinity from memory. Throughout the year their opening batsman Andrew Mellor had hit big hundreds in both games and simply we had no way we could get him out.

We had Trevor Clisby (former NAFC premiership player) playing for us. Clis was a brute of an opening bowler but during the minor round the quicker he bowled the quicker Mellor dispatched him.

I made up a story that i had run into Mellor in rundle Mall on the Friday prior to the semi and he had stated that he thought Trevor Clisby was all talk and in fact bowled like a soggy meat pie. Of course this was relayed to Clis before he commenced his first over.

First couple balls nothing much then Clis let got with an unplayable bouncer up around the throat of Mellor who could only stick his bat up to protect himself. Ball hit the bat and dollied back to Clis who took the catch. You beauty 1/0. As Mellor was walking off Clis walked up to him and politely said, "Call me Pie hey, I think not. Poor Andrew Mellor had no idea at all what Clis was on about, the rest of us were pissing ourselves laughing :D
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby heater31 » Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:46 am

May or may not have sledged a fellow SA Footy poster one day wildly swinging and missing suggesting the bowler maybe bowl him a red tin to see if he could hit it!

Non striker lost it but replied harsh but true he wouldn't miss smashing a red tin.....

No Carey it was not you either [emoji6]
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby Lightning McQueen » Tue Jan 22, 2019 11:43 am

The best sledge I've heard was when I was padded up waiting to go in and mate's kid was being a pain in the arse to his mum.

The mates missus was trying to offer suggestions for things for him to do and he just kept sooking until finally she'd had enough and screamed out "FFS Brad, why didn't I just give your dad a blow job that night?"
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby Corona Man » Tue Jan 22, 2019 1:12 pm

I had this one relayed to me by a mate who played in the game...... it was in Grade cricket & involved an early game between Sturt and the then new club, Elizabeth, played at Elizabeth.

Sturt A's Captain to his fielders....... "now don't stand still in the field lads, you might get grafitti'd on"!
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby mal » Tue Jan 22, 2019 4:59 pm

Involved me
Playing against a mob called Port Districts last century
They made a million batting first and had us plenty out for f..k all in our reply
I batted on on and on and kept them out in the field the entire 2nd days play
On reaching 60 runs not out the keeper clapped me, and a couple of other lads applauded me
The applause continued for about half a minute
Then the keeper yells out real loud at me
" Well done mate your in credit." followed by laughter from a few of his team mates

I realised what the f..k they were on about then
The previous week I had the following bowling figures
3 overs 0/59 ...
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby jackpot jim » Tue Jan 22, 2019 8:28 pm

About 5 years ago late in the season we called up our opponent (Nairne) Saturday morning to tell them our pitch was saturated and dont bother coming down. Protocol is if theres a spare ground the game can be transferred to it but there were none so the game is just abandoned and called a draw. An hour later we get a call from the League that Monarto Oval was available to play on. Now Monarto wasn't even in our Association and the ground there hadn't been in use for a year or 2 so was rough as guts but Nairne apparently had played a C Grade game there earlier in the season so apparently it was deemed as an acceptable oval to use. So both teams trekked out there and almost choked when we saw what we were confronted with. Once the matting and stumps were put in at least the pitch half looked like it belonged to a cricket field but the outfield was a disgrace with foot high weeds and small bushes in between the rabbit burrows :shock: Ok maybe a slight exaggeration but you get the picture.
Nairne batted 1st and their opener took guard and faced up ready to receive the 1st ball. Just as the bowler started to run into bowl our wicket keeper yelled out "Hang on a minute, i just need to pull a few of these weeds out 1st that are distracting me". No word of a lie about 2 metres from him there was some variety of thick bushy weed thing that was at least a foot high. As he proceeded to pull it out of the ground roots and all the batsman turned around and said to the Keeper "Do you need a HOE mate?" To which the keeper instantly replied "Hey mate if i needed a HOE i'd ring your wife" :lol: =))
The batsman saw red and wanted a piece of him but the umpire butted in and said "Guys, Cmon , lets play cricket" 3rd ball of the innings batsman snicks up straight to 2nd slip and is out. There was a lot of niggle for the rest of the game. After the game the opener was still fuming more than ever and wanted a piece of the keeper in the car park but he'd already shot through thankfully :lol:
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby Booney » Wed Jan 23, 2019 8:27 am

mal wrote:Involved me
Playing against a mob called Port Districts last century
They made a million batting first and had us plenty out for f..k all in our reply
I batted on on and on and kept them out in the field the entire 2nd days play
On reaching 60 runs not out the keeper clapped me, and a couple of other lads applauded me
The applause continued for about half a minute
Then the keeper yells out real loud at me
" Well done mate your in credit." followed by laughter from a few of his team mates

I realised what the f..k they were on about then
The previous week I had the following bowling figures
3 overs 0/59 ...


Don't you mean the century before last, mal?
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby mal » Wed Jan 23, 2019 8:43 am

I wore a helmet once and once only, too uncomfortable
It was last century when virtually no one was wearing them in the grass roots comps
Understandably , I copped a few niggles by the opposition on the field
During the tea break , one of those opposition players sledged a derogative at me for wearing the helmet
He ends up asking
" So why did you wear the helmet , are you afraid of getting hit in the head ?"
I replied
" I have to wear a helmet for protection mate, protection from your fielders returns."
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby Corona Man » Thu Jan 31, 2019 9:27 pm

Tonight at training:-

I took my new bat out that I’m knocking in to hit catches with...

One of the young blokes (20/21 I guess) picks it up has a look at it and says...”you can leave this to me in your will”. Yeah thanks mate, reckon my lads got first dibs..

Then he says.... “When you die are you going to be cremated?”... “****** if I know”, is my reply... “Why’s that I ask?”... his reply... “So we can play a game for your Ashes!”..... ******* smart ar$e
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Re: Park Cricket Sledges

Postby stan » Thu Jan 31, 2019 9:58 pm

Corona Man wrote:Tonight at training:-

I took my new bat out that I’m knocking in to hit catches with...

One of the young blokes (20/21 I guess) picks it up has a look at it and says...”you can leave this to me in your will”. Yeah thanks mate, reckon my lads got first dibs..

Then he says.... “When you die are you going to be cremated?”... “****** if I know”, is my reply... “Why’s that I ask?”... his reply... “So we can play a game for your Ashes!”..... ******* smart ar$e
Lol I wonder how the young lads likes fielding fine leg to fine leg all day.
Read my reply. It is directed at you because you have double standards
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