Things that give you the sh1ts

[HH3]

Sorry Wubsy, you're their father, you shouldnt get pats on the back for offering to having your own kids

Don't think he's looking for a pat on the back, but his ex showing some gratitude for making an effort and trying to help her out (whilst showing flexibility and understanding and putting his own plans on hold when he doesn't need to) wouldn't hurt.

Nothing to do with the kids, i'm sure he values every moment he has with the girls.

Guess it's kind of hard to explain or make others understand until you've been in a similar position.

I see what FC's getting at, but yeah, when you have an arrangement in place (usually dictated by one parent) and plan your life around it, you are doing them a favour to change your plans to help them out. Especially when you offer. A thanks isn't too much to ask. It would be automatic if it was me.

I'm sure Wubs would have his girls everyday if he could.

[woodublieve12]

Sorry Wubsy, you're their father, you shouldnt get pats on the back for offering to having your own kids

I think I mentioned in my post I am not looking for pats on the back... I would spend every second of every day with my girls if I had too... They are my life and I would literally anything for them...
The roster we have for the girls is very fair 50/50 but it is around her roster... Which I get when she works shift work...


What HH3 and Bedge said is spot on...

[woodublieve12]

Sorry Wubsy, you're their father, you shouldnt get pats on the back for offering to having your own kids

Don't think he's looking for a pat on the back, but his ex showing some gratitude for making an effort and trying to help her out (whilst showing flexibility and understanding and putting his own plans on hold when he doesn't need to) wouldn't hurt.

Nothing to do with the kids, i'm sure he values every moment he has with the girls.

Guess it's kind of hard to explain or make others understand until you've been in a similar position.

I see what FC's getting at, but yeah, when you have an arrangement in place (usually dictated by one parent) and plan your life around it, you are doing them a favour to change your plans to help them out. Especially when you offer. A thanks isn't too much to ask. It would be automatic if it was me.

I'm sure Wubs would have his girls everyday if he could.

this

and I am the same I would be very grateful

[Lightning McQueen]

this

and I am the same I would be very grateful

Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed.

[Footy Chick]

this

and I am the same I would be very grateful

Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed.

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

You won't get a thank you for last minute changes that help her but at the same time, if you dare say no you'll cop wrath.

Just take it, and keep a note of every time it happens.

[woodublieve12]

this

and I am the same I would be very grateful

Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed.

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

You won't get a thank you for last minute changes that help her but at the same time, if you dare say no you'll cop wrath.

Just take it, and keep a note of every time it happens.

yep

for example she is planning a trip to London later this year... Hasn't booked but has confirmed with her sister she is going... I have no issue (just filthy I can't go to London), just thought you'd run it past just to see if id be ok to have the kids for that period.. Again zero issue having kids, just assumed its what you do in this situation... Remember this is a 10-14 day trip...
I mentioned the other day I was thinking about going to that big wrestling show, this is how it went down -

Me - I am thinking about going to Melbourne for that wwe show, its oct 6. I don't have the girls the Friday or Saturday (got cut off)
ex - Youd be back before I start work right???
me - id plan to..
ex - well id hope so cause youll need to organise something...
me - excuse me??? well clearly...
ex - do you think its a good time to go away? *tone in voice*
me - 1. I haven't even said I am going yet. 2. Pretty hypercritical of the person going away for a fortnight later this year...
ex - *crickets*
ex - oh ahhh umm ok... I am sure we can organise something...

me -

[The Bedge]

Speaking of overseas..

Me: Hey we are looking at heading to QLD over a few days during the school holidays for my nieces bday, all good with you?
ex: No. No it isn't, I don't feel comfortable with you taking her out of the state.
me: What? Really? So when would you feel comfortable?
ex: Honestly, even when she's a teenager I doubt I would (she's currently 7).

.....

two weeks later..

ex: Taking the kids to Bali in October for 10 days.
me: Are you joking? You wouldn't even let me take her to see her cousin in another state but you're ok taking her overseas and i'm supposed to be ok with this?
ex: It's only 10 days!
me: QLD was only 3 days, over a weekend!
ex: Oh thought I told you, I thought about it, and i'm ok with it (*insert her list of requirements/standards to meet first*)

[HH3]

Speaking of overseas..

Me: Hey we are looking at heading to QLD over a few days during the school holidays for my nieces bday, all good with you?
ex: No. No it isn't, I don't feel comfortable with you taking her out of the state.
me: What? Really? So when would you feel comfortable?
ex: Honestly, even when she's a teenager I doubt I would (she's currently 7).

.....

two weeks later..

ex: Taking the kids to Bali in October for 10 days.
me: Are you joking? You wouldn't even let me take her to see her cousin in another state but you're ok taking her overseas and i'm supposed to be ok with this?
ex: It's only 10 days!
me: QLD was only 3 days, over a weekend!
ex: Oh thought I told you, I thought about it, and i'm ok with it (*insert her list of requirements/standards to meet first*)

I'd bluff her out and say "Nah, don't wanna go to QLD now, and dont want her to go to Bali"

Let her stew for a few hours....or days.

[The Bedge]

ex: Hey can you have Kayla on these dates (insert list of random dates over next 4 week period).
me: Shouldn't be a problem, just have to check i'm not away with work and/or we have nothing planned.
ex: Good, because I don't want to pay for child care when I could be saving for a house, rather send her to your house.

[woodublieve12]

Speaking of overseas..

Me: Hey we are looking at heading to QLD over a few days during the school holidays for my nieces bday, all good with you?
ex: No. No it isn't, I don't feel comfortable with you taking her out of the state.
me: What? Really? So when would you feel comfortable?
ex: Honestly, even when she's a teenager I doubt I would (she's currently 7).

.....

two weeks later..

ex: Taking the kids to Bali in October for 10 days.
me: Are you joking? You wouldn't even let me take her to see her cousin in another state but you're ok taking her overseas and i'm supposed to be ok with this?
ex: It's only 10 days!
me: QLD was only 3 days, over a weekend!
ex: Oh thought I told you, I thought about it, and i'm ok with it (*insert her list of requirements/standards to meet first*)

that sh#t is f#####...

Genuinely baffled by the double standards they portray sometimes...

[mighty_tiger_79]

I shouldn't laugh, but **** me, its funny when the shoe is on the other foot!!
I feel for all of you going through that bollocks

[Brodlach]

On reading the replies I guess you are right, I never have been in the situation.

My wife and I if we go out separately we would just assume the other would do it rather than either one of us saying thanks. As I am a lazy git she would always be thanking me


I didn’t mean any disrespect to you Wubbzy I could just see where FC was coming from

[Johno6]

I hope that if me and the wife ever split up its because ive died
because stuff going through all that shit

I tell the missus I would never have an affair, not because of how much I love her, but because I cant put up with her and my daughter let alone adding another woman to the mix...…

if she ever saw this I would probably need to have an affair to ever have sex again

[Spargo]

I hope that if me and the wife ever split up its because ive died
because stuff going through all that shit

I tell the missus I would never have an affair, not because of how much I love her, but because I cant put up with her and my daughter let alone adding another woman to the mix...…

if she ever saw this I would probably need to have an affair to ever have sex again

I hear ya.

[HH3]

I tell the missus I would never have an affair, not because of how much I love her, but because I cant put up with her and my daughter let alone adding another woman to the mix...…

I've said that. word for word, to Mrs HH3 numerous times.

[Johno6]

ive said it to mine, but if she found out I posted it online different story.

probably a reason I don't have facebook, because I would get in trouble every time I came home from work with what I post on there

[Lightning McQueen]

I hope that if me and the wife ever split up its because ive died
because stuff going through all that shit

I tell the missus I would never have an affair, not because of how much I love her, but because I cant put up with her and my daughter let alone adding another woman to the mix...…

if she ever saw this I would probably need to have an affair to ever have sex again

It's f****** mate, I pretty much walked away with a stick over my shoulder with hanky tied to it, 15 years of hard work just forfeited for me to start again with nothing, it was a better feeling of accomplishment as I rebuilt though.

No matter of what I think of her, our kids have always come first with us, they have always stayed where they want to stay, as long as there is notice there is never an issue with either of us going away regardless for how long.

One thing that is quite funny though, if the missus and I go away for a weekend, my son more often than not will go and stay at the missus' ex's house.

[Booney]

I hope that if me and the wife ever split up its because ive died

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to.

[Lightning McQueen]

I hope that if me and the wife ever split up its because ive died

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to.

Less painful.

[DOC]

On the subject of overseas holidays were kids are involved where mum/dad have divorced:

It comes as a big surprise to many that the kids are prevented from leaving unless orders are varied by the family court if they so ordered that at the time of divorce. This is common. The order lasts until the child turns 18 and is often forgotten as the children were often very young at the time of divorce.