Things that make you laugh

[Magellan]

No wonder everyone wants to win Masterchef or MKR.

[Pseudo]

http://www.9news.com.au/world/2016/01/20/17/07/tv-chef-allegedly-caught-racking-up-live-on-morning-show


One credit card - Available at any bank
One line of blow - Easy to find in the TV business
The look of his face - Priceless

"TV chef allegedly caught racking up live on morning show".

Talk about false advertising. The made it sound like Nigella Lawson got her norks out on Sunrise this morning.

[HH3]

Saw this while browsing FB. The comments are great.

meninist.JPG (84.14 KiB) Viewed 559 times

[Booney]

Saw this while browsing FB. The comments are great.

meninist.JPG

Brilliant.

"What's the flag for"

"You know what it's for"

"No,I don't"

[Booney]

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/sout ... 274abc53f1

The Giant Wedgie got blown away!

It's currently in a pine tree.

[am Bays]

Chemistry 101

https://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveScience/videos/1208151935872482/

Pseudo you'd find an ionic attraction to this social media platform if you broke your negative philosophical bonds to it

[Pseudo]

Chemistry 101

https://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveSc ... 1935872482

Pseudo you'd find an ionic attraction to this social media platform if you broke your negative philosophical bonds to it

I haven't got time to look at science videos on wankbook. I'm too busy Doing Actual Science in the Real World.

[bennymacca]

Chemistry 101

https://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveScience/videos/1208151935872482/

Pseudo you'd find an ionic attraction to this social media platform if you broke your negative philosophical bonds to it

Haha that was awesome

[am Bays]

Chemistry 101

https://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveSc ... 1935872482

Pseudo you'd find an ionic attraction to this social media platform if you broke your negative philosophical bonds to it

I haven't got time to look at science videos on wankbook. I'm too busy Doing Actual Science in the Real World.

So basically,

Pseudo = H+, facebook = Ne+

Therefore, no attraction.....

[bennymacca]

Chemistry 101

https://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveSc ... 1935872482

Pseudo you'd find an ionic attraction to this social media platform if you broke your negative philosophical bonds to it

I haven't got time to look at science videos on wankbook. I'm too busy Doing Actual Science in the Real World.

Hopefully not as a statistician given your SANFL ladder threads

[HH3]

The equality debate.

[Booney]

Mitchell Pearce. A leading light in rugby league leadership.

"I don't give a **** anymore. I'll **** your dog".

Famous. Last. Words.

[Lightning McQueen]

Mitchell Pearce. A leading light in rugby league leadership.

"I don't give a **** anymore. I'll **** your dog".

Famous. Last. Words.

Wouldn't be the first league star to bang a few dogs.

[Booney]

Nick Ryan, in the Saturday 'Tiser :

IF Elvis decides to stage a comeback this week, with Jimi Hendrix, John Bonham and Nero forming his backing band, I hope and pray they don’t televise the event on Channel 7. I’d hate to miss it.

I’m halfway through a fortnight where I avoid Channel 7 the way Tony Abbott avoids the realisation that he’ll never be Prime Minister again.

Tony’s problem is delusion. Mine is bloody tennis.

Tennis is the game invented for men who believe balls should be sliced and women who want them changed at regular intervals.

Having spent some time around tennis tournaments as a kid, I discovered early on that not every dickhead plays tennis but every tennis player’s a dickhead.

Give me 22 yards of rolled turf, some movement off the seam and a flashing cover drive any day.

Channel 7 has put plenty of time and cash into covering the Australian Open and I’m sure they do a good enough job of it to please an audience whose expectations are so low they actually want to watch tennis in the first place.

They’ll get plenty of eyeballs over the course of the tournament but they won’t get mine.

Considering I’m a man whose default position is lounging on the couch watching sport on TV, that says a lot about my loathing for tennis.

Not even the comedic value in a comeback by the great American serve and volleyer Hank Pfister could draw me in.

The list of things I would rather do than watch tennis would take a lifetime to complete but only eight letters to write. Anything.

I would rather watch my parents recreate highlights from their honeymoon than have to endure a single set of tennis.

Ask me to shave down a polar bear before handing him the razor to return the favour and I’d do it in a flash if it meant I’d never have to endure another match on centre court.

I will happily have a latte with every single MAMIL here for the Tour Down Under and smile through conversations about cleats, hill climbs and scrotal chaffing rather than watch a single backhand from some bloke wearing his cap around the wrong way.

Strap me to a chair made of squid jags and make me watch a bunch of other people’s kids perform in a nine-hour ballet concert and I’d still consider myself more fortunate than the man who had a stroke while channel-surfing and got stuck watching the mixed doubles semi-finals.

I’d rather sit with Lleyton Hewitt at a Crows game than watch his final match.

I’d work as Donald Trump’s hairdresser and moonlight as Clive Palmer’s proctologist before I’d sit through another three-setter.

I’m aware that millions would disagree with me but the majority isn’t always right. Justin Bieber sells a lot more records than Jason Isbell, so being popular doesn’t mean something’s any good.

So while the rest of you watch your rallies and your volleys I’ll be searching for something, anything, more entertaining to keep myself amused.

Does anyone know if The Bolt Report is available on DVD?

[Magellan]

Nick Ryan, in the Saturday 'Tiser :

IF Elvis decides to stage a comeback this week, with Jimi Hendrix, John Bonham and Nero forming his backing band, I hope and pray they don’t televise the event on Channel 7. I’d hate to miss it.

I’m halfway through a fortnight where I avoid Channel 7 the way Tony Abbott avoids the realisation that he’ll never be Prime Minister again.

Tony’s problem is delusion. Mine is bloody tennis.

Tennis is the game invented for men who believe balls should be sliced and women who want them changed at regular intervals.

Having spent some time around tennis tournaments as a kid, I discovered early on that not every dickhead plays tennis but every tennis player’s a dickhead.

Give me 22 yards of rolled turf, some movement off the seam and a flashing cover drive any day.

Channel 7 has put plenty of time and cash into covering the Australian Open and I’m sure they do a good enough job of it to please an audience whose expectations are so low they actually want to watch tennis in the first place.

They’ll get plenty of eyeballs over the course of the tournament but they won’t get mine.

Considering I’m a man whose default position is lounging on the couch watching sport on TV, that says a lot about my loathing for tennis.

Not even the comedic value in a comeback by the great American serve and volleyer Hank Pfister could draw me in.

The list of things I would rather do than watch tennis would take a lifetime to complete but only eight letters to write. Anything.

I would rather watch my parents recreate highlights from their honeymoon than have to endure a single set of tennis.

Ask me to shave down a polar bear before handing him the razor to return the favour and I’d do it in a flash if it meant I’d never have to endure another match on centre court.

I will happily have a latte with every single MAMIL here for the Tour Down Under and smile through conversations about cleats, hill climbs and scrotal chaffing rather than watch a single backhand from some bloke wearing his cap around the wrong way.

Strap me to a chair made of squid jags and make me watch a bunch of other people’s kids perform in a nine-hour ballet concert and I’d still consider myself more fortunate than the man who had a stroke while channel-surfing and got stuck watching the mixed doubles semi-finals.

I’d rather sit with Lleyton Hewitt at a Crows game than watch his final match.

I’d work as Donald Trump’s hairdresser and moonlight as Clive Palmer’s proctologist before I’d sit through another three-setter.

I’m aware that millions would disagree with me but the majority isn’t always right. Justin Bieber sells a lot more records than Jason Isbell, so being popular doesn’t mean something’s any good.

So while the rest of you watch your rallies and your volleys I’ll be searching for something, anything, more entertaining to keep myself amused.

Does anyone know if The Bolt Report is available on DVD?

Quality rant. "Seven's Summer of Tennis" is actually a two-week long ad for its upcoming TV shows which has been cleverly disguised to look like a professional tennis tournament.

[am Bays]

Mitchell Pearce. A leading light in rugby league leadership.

"I don't give a **** anymore. I'll **** your dog".

Famous. Last. Words.

Given hs Dad was the first "face of" league in the late 80s and a non-drinker (IIRC from past RLW and biographies) you'd think he not have to look to far for advice on how to act in a professional manner.

[bennymacca]

Quality rant. "Seven's Summer of Tennis" is actually a two-week long ad for its upcoming TV shows which has been cleverly disguised to look like a professional tennis tournament.

They all do it. Ch10 use the big bash to talk about im a celeb get me out of here, and just when you think James Brayshaw couldnt get any worse, hearing him talk about "here come the habibs" for a solid minute qualifies as just about the worst TV i have ever seen

[MW]

Mitchell Pearce. A leading light in rugby league leadership.

"I don't give a **** anymore. I'll **** your dog".

Famous. Last. Words.

It was a dog act

[Magellan]

They all do it. Ch10 use the big bash to talk about im a celeb get me out of here, and just when you think James Brayshaw couldnt get any worse, hearing him talk about "here come the habibs" for a solid minute qualifies as just about the worst TV i have ever seen

True. One reason why I hate 'freeview' or whatever marketing nonsense FTA TV has concocted to make you feel like you're now getting something new for free, when all you're really getting is what you always got (for free) but about ten times worse.

"here come the habibs"

This show promises to set world records for sh!t television.

[bennymacca]

you do get extra channels which they all utilise very poorly, with the exception of ONE for a year or so when it was first broadcast, ABC kids, and the SBS food channel.