Dear Dr REB....

[Wedgie]

Folks, this thread is probably my fav on the whole site but keep it clean please?

[Bum Crack]

Dear Dr REB,

I have joined the Hogg Div 2 Supercaoch league this year and I am feeling extremely guilty about the fact that I will take out the title and nobody will get close to me. How can I get rid of this guilt??

Regards
Cracker

[gossipgirl]

Dear Dr REB

I have a rash and it wont go away

Dear Goss,

after reading all of your 190 posts I conclude that your rash has been caused by talking 5hit. My prescription for you is to read all of Psyber's posts to enhance your intellect in lieu of a complete dearth of books in your humble abode. Get well my friend.

regards,

Dr REB

its a miracle, Dr REB knows his stuff the rash has cleared up. How can I ever repay you

[Lightning McQueen]

Dear Dr Reb,

My cats breath smells like cat food, why is this so?

LM

[Zorro]

Dear Dr REB

I'm a really good cricket player and score lots of runs for my country, but I don't have many fans. Apparently my strokeplay* is not sexy enough and I get called hurtful names like The Crab or Pussy Kat. Can you help?

Regards
Simon

[Rik E Boy]

Folks, this thread is probably my fav on the whole site but keep it clean please?

Oh oh, the Australian Moderators Association is on to me!

regards,

Dr REB

[Rik E Boy]

Dear Dr REB

I'm a really good cricket player and score lots of runs for my country, but I don't have many fans. Apparently my strokeplay* is not sexy enough and I get called hurtful names like The Crab or Pussy Kat. Can you help?

Regards
Simon

Dear The Kat,

I am going to send a letter of recommendation to a specialist who can help you win over the only person on the entire planet who no longer rates you. When the NZ tour ends present yourself to a Dr Scott of Arden Street, North Melbourne. Seeing as you have two arms and two legs you will then be put on the list of the North Melbourne football club. You will find then that the dyke will come tumbling down and and new emotions will begin clog the eyes of your most ardent critic. Meanwhile, can I have your autograph?

regards,

Dr REB

[Rik E Boy]

Dear Dr Reb,

My cats breath smells like cat food, why is this so?

LM

Dear Ralph,

your Cat's breath doesn't smell like Cat food at all. The reason why you smell Cat food is that you spend so much time eating the stuff. All the Cat's breath smells like is furry pussy because it has spent the last eighteen hours cleaning itself.

regards,

Dr REB

[Rik E Boy]

Dear Dr REB,

I have joined the Hogg Div 2 Supercaoch league this year and I am feeling extremely guilty about the fact that I will take out the title and nobody will get close to me. How can I get rid of this guilt??

Regards
Cracker

Dear "Mr Cracker",

people who can't spell and who have an anal fixation often suffer from delusions of Granduer. The reason why nobody will get close to you is that you are clearly the most offensive person on the planet. When you visited Balmoral the Goat couldn't stand the smell and the Pigs all headed into the showers in disgust. Your only option for a vocation is to shatter the mirrors on demolition sites and your one cheek sneaky farts stop conversation in the finest restuarants. Having said that, it hasn't stopped you from marrying your longtime love Prince Charles. There is no need to feel guilty....you didn't plan that crash in Paris did you?

regards,

Dr REB

[Rik E Boy]

Dear Dr REB

I have a rash and it wont go away

Dear Goss,

after reading all of your 190 posts I conclude that your rash has been caused by talking 5hit. My prescription for you is to read all of Psyber's posts to enhance your intellect in lieu of a complete dearth of books in your humble abode. Get well my friend.

regards,

Dr REB

its a miracle, Dr REB knows his stuff the rash has cleared up. How can I ever repay you

You can start by paying your bill!

regards,

Dr REB

[Strawb]

Dear Dr. REB,
why is it everytime the staints seem like winning a grand final we choke. And why do I cry after this. Is heading North a better idea for me.
Signed
Nick

[Q.]

Dear Dr REB

I'm not sure how much longer I can let my mate Mick call all the shots. I mean, really, Leigh Brown in the forward line? Mick has lost his marbles.

Kind Regards
Nathan

[Rik E Boy]

Dear Dr. REB,
why is it everytime the staints seem like winning a grand final we choke. And why do I cry after this. Is heading North a better idea for me.
Signed
Nick

Dear Nicole,

The Saints will never win a premiership if they couldn't win it last year. Use your massive aerobic capacity to take the money and run. Head North young man! You could get twice what they are offering Mr Selwood and Mr Ablett, why would you want to stay? As for all the crying, it is because you are a prepubescent girl. Go hard AND go home!

regards,

Dr REB

[Rik E Boy]

Dear Dr REB

I'm not sure how much longer I can let my mate Mick call all the shots. I mean, really, Leigh Brown in the forward line? Mick has lost his marbles.

Kind Regards
Nathan

Dear Nate,

come on. You know exactly where Mick's marbles are as your lips aren't far away. Just be patient and pucker up. Just watch out he doesn't suddenly stop or you'll need to invest in one of those miner's helmets with the searchlight on top. While you are still on talking terms with Mick, get him to explain what the word 'premiership' means before you elbow him out of the Lexus centre. It will be too late afterwards!

regards,

Dr REB

[Strawb]

Dear Dr. REB,
I am a man of many talents and Australia's greatest Rugby League playa andAustralia's champion Boxa. So should i put on some weight and fight Danny Green or just find someone else to fight and keep shooting from the lip and avoiding him.
Signed
The Man

[Rik E Boy]

Dear Dr. REB,
I am a man of many talents and Australia's greatest Rugby League playa andAustralia's champion Boxa. So should i put on some weight and fight Danny Green or just find someone else to fight and keep shooting from the lip and avoiding him.
Signed
The Man

Dear Anthony,

forget about Boxing and go on Australian Idol or Celebrity Masterchef. That way you can put your right cross to good use on the judges and win a recording deal and open your very own restaurant. However, I do believe that you should stop hiding your light under a bushel. To gain a full awareness of the dynamic art of self promotion and appreciation, I will refer you to a buddy of mine, Dr Franklin. Keep your chin up!

regards,

Dr REB

[Wedgie]

Dear Dr REB,
I've never worked in a hardware store but I keep having recurring nightmares about being used as a stepladder by small people. I've had a chat to some of my teammates and they don't have that nightmare but they do see the number 119 over and over in their sleep which turns them into a sweating shaking mess. Is there anyway we can stop these nightmares?
Regards,

Warren

[Rik E Boy]

Dear Dr REB,
I've never worked in a hardware store but I keep having recurring nightmares about being used as a stepladder by small people. I've had a chat to some of my teammates and they don't have that nightmare but they do see the number 119 over and over in their sleep which turns them into a sweating shaking mess. Is there anyway we can stop these nightmares?
Regards,

Warren

Dear Warren,

it was only a matter of time before you called. You are having nightmares of this nature because a number of fears that stalk you like a hungry Cat. Firstly, as a Portonian the fear of actually having to work has made your hair fall out. The hair loss you are experiencing is symbolised by the bald man who jumped on your back in the nightmare. Secondly you are suffering a severe personality change that has been brought on by a lack of success. You used to be a very engaging person who bowed to everyone....now all you say is 'call me'. I have the gravest of news to tell you Mr Tredrea - your condition is terminal and your career has twelve months left to live.

It's times like this that are tough on us Doctors. $119.00 please!

regards,

Dr REB

[Footy Chick]

THAT is the funniest post I've read on this forum in almost 5 years!

GOLD!!!!!

[Strawb]

Dear Dr. REB
I know and write top material for a big newspaper in Australia. I know more about the SANFL, and AFL than people believe. I feel people are not reading my articles and making a mockery of what I write on forum sites. I do believe the SANFL were wrong in not allowing the Ports to merge and I keep telling people this but they don;t want to listen
Signed
M