SA Footy

As posted by a very funny, intellegent man on the Snouts site....

Port Adelaide Maths Exam

1. If Chad Cornes head is 20cm up his a*sehole, and he wedges it
a further 5cm, how much of his neck can you see?

2. If Mark Williams has gained 25kg in the last year, and he has
eaten 450 pies in that time, how much weight has put on per pie?
(Bonus point) How many pies are left over for Darren Jarman?

3. If there are 30,000 Power fans at AAMI stadium, and 10,000
cars are stolen, how many are Commodores?

4. If a Power fan drinks 15 cans of Woodstock during a match and
Port lose, how many times will he hit his wife?

5. If Daniel Motlop has a set shot 15m out after the siren to
win the game, which shop in West Lakes Mall will he hit?

6. If Alberton was to burn to ground completely, killing
everyone in the surrounding area, how much would the average IQ
of South Australia rise by?

7. If Byron Pickett rolled his car at a speed of 120km/h, and
his blood alcohol level was .134, how much did he win on the
pokies that night?

8. If Peter Burgoyne has slept with 5 women, and 2 were
consensual, how many lawsuits will he face?

9. If 10,000 Port fans walk down a muddy path, how many
different ugg boot imprints will be seen?

10. An inanimate carbon rod is lined up against Matthew Bishop.
How many goals will the rod kick?

11. If Dean Brogan punches 8 people at the airport, how many
policemen will it take to subdue his chin?

12. If Warren Tredrea loses 8000 hairs on his head per year, how
many years until he looks like Nigel Smart?

13. If a Port fan has 7 kids to 5 different fathers, work out
the combined total she will get from
a) child support;
b) baby bonus;
c) dole cheque;
d) Centrelink fraud, and
e) car theft.

14. If two season tickets cost $350, how many dodgy Workcover
claims will you have to file to get them?

15. How many stolen TV's will you have to trade in at Cash
Converters to buy enough teal paint to hot up your Gemini?

16. If 2000 Port fans travel to Elizabeth for a Centrals game
and Port lose by 1 point, how long will the ensuing race riots
last for?

17. If the Power have 50,000 fans and only 1500 turn up to Port
Magpies games, how many are pathetic bandwagoners?

18. If Kane Cornes fell to the ground like a girl 0.3 seconds
after Barry Hall threatened to punch him, how many times did he
shit himself in those 0.3 seconds?

19.Sharon, a lifelong Port supporter, sits with the Power
cheersquad behind the goals. If she has taken out an Apprehended
Violence Order against Darryl, her second husband, how far down the
wing will he have to sit so as to not breach the restraining order?

"17. If the Power have 50,000 fans and only 1500 turn up to Port
Magpies games, how many are pathetic bandwagoners?"

Doesn't matter, its still 1000 more magpie supporters than opporsition supporters at the game.

1980 Tassie Medalist wrote:10. An inanimate carbon rod is lined up against Matthew Bishop.
How many goals will the rod kick?

LMFAO!

1980 Tassie Medalist wrote:12. If Warren Tredrea loses 8000 hairs on his head per year, how
many years until he looks like Nigel Smart?

He never had 8000 to start with!

1980 Tassie Medalist wrote:As posted by a very funny, intellegent man on the Snouts site....

Port Adelaide Maths Exam

5. If Daniel Motlop has a set shot 15m out after the siren to
win the game, which shop in West Lakes Mall will he hit?


7. If Byron Pickett rolled his car at a speed of 120km/h, and
his blood alcohol level was .134, how much did he win on the
pokies that night?

8. If Peter Burgoyne has slept with 5 women, and 2 were
consensual, how many lawsuits will he face?

10. An inanimate carbon rod is lined up against Matthew Bishop.
How many goals will the rod kick?

11. If Dean Brogan punches 8 people at the airport, how many
policemen will it take to subdue his chin?

13. If a Port fan has 7 kids to 5 different fathers, work out
the combined total she will get from
a) child support;
b) baby bonus;
c) dole cheque;
d) Centrelink fraud, and
e) car theft.
?

16. If 2000 Port fans travel to Elizabeth for a Centrals game
and Port lose by 1 point, how long will the ensuing race riots
last for?

17. If the Power have 50,000 fans and only 1500 turn up to Port
Magpies games, how many are pathetic bandwagoners?

18. If Kane Cornes fell to the ground like a girl 0.3 seconds
after Barry Hall threatened to punch him, how many times did he
shit himself in those 0.3 seconds?

19.Sharon, a lifelong Port supporter, sits with the Power
cheersquad behind the goals. If she has taken out an Apprehended
Violence Order against Darryl, her second husband, how far down the
wing will he have to sit so as to not breach the restraining order?

Gold, PureGold. Kudos to the snouts member.

I thought it was going to be an old joke but i have never even seen this before. It is an absolute pisser!!

at least we only need one hand to count all the glenelg premierships

dinglinga wrote:at least we only need one hand to count all the glenelg premierships

But we all know what the Port supporters would be doing with that hand LOL. Nice work Wrinkles ha ha.

regards,

REB

This is brilliant, saw it on the Big Day Out forum.. Not sure if your Snouts bloke and the one on the BDO site are one in the same or one stole from the other. Doesn't matter.. gave me a laugh for the day.

Its been posted on Big Footy as well. The Port fans dont seem to find it as funny for some reason. The poor things.

pafc1870 wrote:"17. If the Power have 50,000 fans and only 1500 turn up to Port
Magpies games, how many are pathetic bandwagoners?"

Doesn't matter, its still 1000 more magpie supporters than opporsition supporters at the game.

Only if your playing South at Alberton

pafc1870 wrote:"17. If the Power have 50,000 fans and only 1500 turn up to Port
Magpies games, how many are pathetic bandwagoners?"

Doesn't matter, its still 1000 more magpie supporters than opporsition supporters at the game.

Have you been to a Port - North game @ Alberton the last few years?....................I guess your 1/2 right though, Port would have had about 1000 there.......... out of 5000.

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