In alternate universe, Freo ‘could still make finals’
Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:44 amFREMANTLE fans say they are encouraged by the news that the Dockers are a strong chance of making this year’s finals in at least one alternate universe.
Under the ‘many worlds’ hypothesis, every possible universe exists and therefore every possible scenario must actually occur. An extensive investigation has found that although Fremantle is struggling near the foot of the ladder in 99.93 per cent of surveyed universes, the Dockers are just four points outside the eight in Hyperflon 5, a universe almost identical to our own but without clowns.
The investigation has not yet looked into the marmalade universe.
Lifetime Dockers fan Will Turing, 42, said he was delighted by the news that in the whole of time and space at least one Fremantle side had managed to remain competitive.
“It’s terrific,” Turing said. “Here in our own universe, we’ve lost five games in a row despite leading at three-quarter time. Except for a couple of kids, our players are either spineless, or has-beens or, in the case, of Shaun McManus, both. And our coach is either too inexperienced or too incompetent to turn things around.
“It’s cheered me up no end to hear of Hyperflon 5. Over there, we’re right in touch after 10 rounds – and that’s despite Matthew Pavlich recently retiring and being replaced with a sea sponge.”
Interestingly, researchers said the Dockers did not exist in Hyperflon 4, where the phrase ‘heave ho’ was a sexual insult and had started several wars.
Under the ‘many worlds’ hypothesis, every possible universe exists and therefore every possible scenario must actually occur. An extensive investigation has found that although Fremantle is struggling near the foot of the ladder in 99.93 per cent of surveyed universes, the Dockers are just four points outside the eight in Hyperflon 5, a universe almost identical to our own but without clowns.
The investigation has not yet looked into the marmalade universe.
Lifetime Dockers fan Will Turing, 42, said he was delighted by the news that in the whole of time and space at least one Fremantle side had managed to remain competitive.
“It’s terrific,” Turing said. “Here in our own universe, we’ve lost five games in a row despite leading at three-quarter time. Except for a couple of kids, our players are either spineless, or has-beens or, in the case, of Shaun McManus, both. And our coach is either too inexperienced or too incompetent to turn things around.
“It’s cheered me up no end to hear of Hyperflon 5. Over there, we’re right in touch after 10 rounds – and that’s despite Matthew Pavlich recently retiring and being replaced with a sea sponge.”
Interestingly, researchers said the Dockers did not exist in Hyperflon 4, where the phrase ‘heave ho’ was a sexual insult and had started several wars.
