SA Footy

5. The Powermint

Getting down to the business end of the countdown now and I'm amazed that some one rates some of these jumpers, the Jaffa in particular. This particular entry was suggested by a Port fan so clearly this is the red headed step kid that even Mum doesn't love. Resembling a wrapper for some kind of Mint this jumper is so bad that the Fireman can barely contain his mirth.

Released after the 119 debacle, this jumper is so bad that it successfully made Port fans forget about the game. Only Cats and Crows fans still talk about that one. The Power were once again struck by lightning and the result was shocking. Truly appalling.


"Ah shit. I give up!"

4. The Heritage Horror

Heritage round itself is like a bad jumper. Foisted upon us by suits for something the fans never really wanted or needed. Now if you are a real club instead of a heartless corporate entity dreamt up in a boardroom to spite Port Adelaide then you are going to be running a little short on Heritage.

So naturally the Crows were always going to struggle with Heritage round. They wouldn't win too many matches running around in suits and ties, they even tied to roll out the State jumper before people quite rightly pointed out that the Crows have too many interstate players and duds running around to don the famous jumper. It might have been a Smart idea at the time but after rolling out the Heritage Horror they had to come up with something.


Roo with the cup for the worst SA jumper

3. The Ill Eagle

I've deliberately left ANZAC and indigenous jumpers alone out of respect of what they represent. I was going to sledge the Hawthorn one but I couldn't see it. The West Coast have never really had any good jumpers, the "meh" winged Eagle design is somehow revered by the fans even though it is no great shakes.

In the interim various Eagle like designs have been applied along with the "panel" jumper and a brief flirtation with Orange that just missed out on being on this list. This one though is wrong on so many levels. It literally looks like someone spewed on this jumper. Perhaps this one was designed very quickly by Cuzzy, Chicky and Kerry. Ay?

This one hurls into the top three.


Chuck it on lads!

2. The Rough Diamond

Hawthorn were clearly a lot more loveable when they went 17 years without winning a premiership, finishing above only Fitzroy in 1995 and trying to replace a champion team with just Paul Salmon. The greatest legacy of this era (besides bottom feeding to stock up on the draft) was the magnificent Rough Diamond.

For some strange and unexplained reason, the Hawk Brain trust (surely not a collective unit considering the results) decided that blue should be added to the piss and poo and that this misguided conglomeration should be displayed in a pretty diamond ensemble. Pretty shit if you ask me. But you don't have to...everyone knows this jumper is shit. It was designed to be the worst jumper of all time but even that proved to be a failure. Let's hope this Hawthorn comes back real soon.


EEK! Oh Platts!

1. The Mighty Hawphin Power Ranger

Well, what else could be? The football world hasn't stopped laughing since this turd dropped. Along the way those sneaky Hawks managed to win a third straight premiership in a Grand Final no one will remember.

So why did they do it? Unlike your average front running Hawthorn fan, most of us remember the Power Rangers because we have kids and aren't kids. For Hawthorn fans, the Power Rangers dressed up in shocking outfits and fought unrealistic and artificial monsters to save the Earth. Perhaps the Hawphin Power Rangers are fighting the AFL for the right to play interstate teams in annual Grand Finals with Stevic umpiring dressed in these snappy outfits.

Hawthorn are so arrogant these days they actually wore this disgrace in a final. The end result was that the West Coast players didn't want to get tackled by a metrosexual in a Power Ranger costume and the Eagles raced to victory.

The power Ranger is the worst jumper in the AFL, even Andre Agassi wouldn't wear it, but Terrance Stamp might.


"put me back in the closet!"

Rik E Boy wrote:5. The Powermint

Getting down to the business end of the countdown now and I'm amazed that some one rates some of these jumpers, the Jaffa in particular. This particular entry was suggested by a Port fan so clearly this is the red headed step kid that even Mum doesn't love. Resembling a wrapper for some kind of Mint this jumper is so bad that the Fireman can barely contain his mirth.

Released after the 119 debacle, this jumper is so bad that it successfully made Port fans forget about the game. Only Cats and Crows fans still talk about that one. The Power were once again struck by lightning and the result was shocking. Truly appalling.
"Ah shit. I give up!"

I got a mention!

Great work REB, I can't say that I agree with you on some of them but we're all different, I actually liked the power guernsey with the lightning bolt .

I wonder if the Hawthorn diamonds had leather patches on the long sleeve version?

Thanks for that, REB. A lot of effort gone into that careful and calculating analysis. Plenty of laughs, too, so it counts as edu-tainment.

When all's said and done, though, it's really just twenty reasons why the game at the AFL level is a mess.

Magellan wrote:Thanks for that, REB. A lot of effort gone into that careful and calculating analysis. Plenty of laughs, too, so it counts as edu-tainment.

When all's said and done, though, it's really just twenty reasons why the game at the AFL level is a mess.

Really? 6,870,542 passed through the turnstiles in 2015.

Magellan wrote:Thanks for that, REB. A lot of effort gone into that careful and calculating analysis. Plenty of laughs, too, so it counts as edu-tainment.

When all's said and done, though, it's really just twenty reasons why the game at the AFL level is a mess.

Booney wrote:

Rik E Boy wrote:5. The Powermint

Getting down to the business end of the countdown now and I'm amazed that some one rates some of these jumpers, the Jaffa in particular. This particular entry was suggested by a Port fan so clearly this is the red headed step kid that even Mum doesn't love. Resembling a wrapper for some kind of Mint this jumper is so bad that the Fireman can barely contain his mirth.

Released after the 119 debacle, this jumper is so bad that it successfully made Port fans forget about the game. Only Cats and Crows fans still talk about that one. The Power were once again struck by lightning and the result was shocking. Truly appalling.
"Ah shit. I give up!"

I got a mention!

Didn't include the Powermint originally but it is so bad it demanded inclusion. The rest I already had...bar one.

regards,

REB

Reckon you got number 1 and 2 the wrong way round,
By the way pretty sure we didnt finish 2nd bottom in 93. Sydney and Fitzroy without even checking wouldve been bottom 2, we may even have played finals that year, infact now I think about it didnt the crows beat us in the finals that year?

daysofourlives wrote:Reckon you got number 1 and 2 the wrong way round,
By the way pretty sure we didnt finish 2nd bottom in 93. Sydney and Fitzroy without even checking wouldve been bottom 2, we may even have played finals that year, infact now I think about it didnt the crows beat us in the finals that year?

Right you are, the Crows narrowly beat the Hawks in an elimination final at the MCG.

Sydney would've been bottom or second bottom, they were terrible that year. Didn't they recruit a washed-up Dermie for that season?

Always thought this was the Crows worst heritage jumper, it just screams "trying too hard"

Magellan wrote:

daysofourlives wrote:Reckon you got number 1 and 2 the wrong way round,
By the way pretty sure we didnt finish 2nd bottom in 93. Sydney and Fitzroy without even checking wouldve been bottom 2, we may even have played finals that year, infact now I think about it didnt the crows beat us in the finals that year?

Right you are, the Crows narrowly beat the Hawks in an elimination final at the MCG.

Sydney would've been bottom or second bottom, they were terrible that year. Didn't they recruit a washed-up Dermie for that season?

The Hawks finished 4th in 1993. Richmond finished second bottom in 14th position and Sydney finished bottom in 15th position.

daysofourlives wrote:Reckon you got number 1 and 2 the wrong way round,
By the way pretty sure we didnt finish 2nd bottom in 93. Sydney and Fitzroy without even checking wouldve been bottom 2, we may even have played finals that year, infact now I think about it didnt the crows beat us in the finals that year?

Yeah you got me there. It was 95. Correction pending. That Power Ranger jumper the worst by a fair way I reckon.

regards,

REB

Dutchy wrote:

Always thought this was the Crows worst heritage jumper, it just screams "trying too hard"

Crows...heritage. LOL.

regards,

REB

Dutchy wrote:

Always thought this was the Crows worst heritage jumper, it just screams "trying too hard"

Sure does. The Latin motto suggests a hint of inventing tradition, but its translation "born to do great things" confirms a try hard approach. I'll leave for another day whether those words are an appropriate motto.

Dutchy wrote:

Always thought this was the Crows worst heritage jumper, it just screams "trying too hard"

Plastic - like many of their "supporters".

Rik E Boy wrote:

daysofourlives wrote:Reckon you got number 1 and 2 the wrong way round,
By the way pretty sure we didnt finish 2nd bottom in 93. Sydney and Fitzroy without even checking wouldve been bottom 2, we may even have played finals that year, infact now I think about it didnt the crows beat us in the finals that year?

Yeah you got me there. It was 95. Correction pending. That Power Ranger jumper the worst by a fair way I reckon.

regards,

REB

I just reckon someone deciding to add blue gets it over the line for me,
Its like something you might see on a saturday arvo at Flemington