Port Power jokes

[RoosterMarty]

A Port Power barracker was caught hopping the fence at the MCG
A policeman caught him and said
" NOW GET BACK OVER AND WATCH THE SECOND HALF AS WELL."

That was doing the rounds yesterday, I loved it!

I have heard quite a few of these REB jokes before but they are still good for a laugh!

[southee]

GOLD everyone....

Nothing better going back to work on Tuesday with a smile on my face.

A GREAT WEEKEND!!!

[Dogwatcher]

Any one for cricket?

I'm not sure Port will bring you any joy in that either Booney...

[RoosterMarty]

Or the Redbacks.

At least the Aussies win, I have been relying on them for success for a long time now, it could change this Sunday though.

[RustyCage]

Or the Redbacks.

At least the Aussies win, I have been relying on them for success for a long time now, it could change this Sunday though.

Yeah, but we dont expect the Redbacks to win, so theres no pain when we lose!

[GWW]

Or the Redbacks.

At least the Aussies win, I have been relying on them for success for a long time now, it could change this Sunday though.

Yeah, but we dont expect the Redbacks to win, so theres no pain when we lose!

..only when we're all out for 29 or whatever it was

[mal]

Port Power were charging $10 admission at the Alberton oval entertainment after the game
A typical dopey looking youth tried to get in and was asked his age.
" HOW OLD ARE YOU ?"
" Im 15."
" SORRY YOU HAVE TO BE 18 TO GET IN STUPID."

The young Port barracker left and returned later with 17 mates....

[Psyber]

Port Power were charging $10 admission at the Alberton oval entertainment after the game
A typical dopey looking youth tried to get in and was asked his age.
" HOW OLD ARE YOU ?"
" Im 15."
" SORRY YOU HAVE TO BE 18 TO GET IN STUPID."

The young Port barracker left and returned later with 17 mates....

And they broke in I assume!

[Dirko]

Here is some more...

Q. Two Power supporters jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a Power supporter use as protection during $ex?
A. Bus shelter.

Q. What does an Power supporter use as a contraceptive?
A. His personality.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old female Power supporter?
A. Granny.

Q. Why did the Power supporter cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what so ever.

Q. What do you call a female Power supporter in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. What's the first question during a Power supporter quiz night?
A. What you looking at?

Q. Two Port Power supporters in a car without any music - who is
driving?
A. The policeman!

Q. Why is three Power supporters going over a cliff in Lexus a
shame?
A. Because a Lexus has four seats.

BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE....

You know you're a Port Power supporter when:
1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family once died right after saying: "Hey, watch
this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.
9. You think the last words of Advance Australia Fair are: "Carn the
Power ."
10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off
its wheels.
11. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on how much
petrol is in it.
12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
13. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
14. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against it.
15. You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.
16. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
17. Your front verandah collapses and kills more than five dogs.

[mal]

Port Power were charging $10 admission at the Alberton oval entertainment after the game
A typical dopey looking youth tried to get in and was asked his age.
" HOW OLD ARE YOU ?"
" Im 15."
" SORRY YOU HAVE TO BE 18 TO GET IN STUPID."

The young Port barracker left and returned later with 17 mates....

17+1 =18[you have to be 18.....]

[Dutchy]

A family of Port supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel Sports the 8 year old son picks up a Crows footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister.

"Hey mole, I've decided to become a Crows supporter and I want this for Christmas."

His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield 25's and says, Shithead, go talk to mum."

Off goes the little lad with the Crows jumper stuffed up his Goodwill shirt and finds his mum.

"Mum?"

"Yes, son."

"I've decided I'm going to be a Crows supporter and I want this jumper for Christmas."

The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full tinnie of West End Draught at him, smacks him in the gob and says "Let's talk to your father"

Off they go to Yatala during visiting hours, with footy jumper in hand, and find Moose, his toothless tattooed father.

"Dad?"

"Yes, knackers."

"I've decided I'm going to be a Crows supporter and I want this jumper for Christmas."

Moose goes berserk and gives his son an almighty backhander and says, "No bastard son of mine is ever going to be seen wearing that shit", and then kicks his arse from one end of the rec-room to the other, just for good measure.

About half an hour later they're all back in the old Torana and heading towards home.

The mother turns to her son and says, "Knackers, have you learned something today?"

The son says "Shit, yes you old slag. I bloody well have."

"Good knackers, what is it?"

The son replies, "I've only been a Crows supporter for an hour and already I hate you Port pricks!!"

[tigersupporter]

Possibly
Our
Worst
Ever
Result

[leftlegger]

NEWSFLASH
3AM Sunday 30th Sep't 07


A man was found dead, floating face down in the River Torrens early on Sunday morning.

Police say he was wearing a blonde wig, makeup, a ladies lace G string, High heals and a Port Adelade football club jersey and had a large sex toy inserted in his anus.

Police removed the football jersey to save his family any embarrasement.

[GWW]

NEWSFLASH
3AM Sunday 30th Sep't 07


A man was found dead, floating face down in the River Torrens early on Sunday morning.

Police say he was wearing a blonde wig, makeup, a ladies lace G string, High heals and a Port Adelade football club jersey and had a large sex toy inserted in his anus.

Police removed the football jersey to save his family any embarrasement.

Sounds like the type of thing known to be worn by Alexander Downer who incidently is a Crows supporter.

[leftlegger]

At least his family can be proud of him

[Drop Bear]

Not exactly a joke, but try reading this with a straight face in the aftermath of today's debacle:

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/s ... 65,00.html

Tredrea yesterday expanded on their in-bred culture of winning.

"We have a history of winning and being successful . . . that is the expectation," he said.


Inbred is right!!

[Psyber]

Port Power were charging $10 admission at the Alberton oval entertainment after the game
A typical dopey looking youth tried to get in and was asked his age.
" HOW OLD ARE YOU ?"
" Im 15."
" SORRY YOU HAVE TO BE 18 TO GET IN STUPID."

The young Port barracker left and returned later with 17 mates....

17+1 =18[you have to be 18.....]

Yeah we all got that I think!

[firstblood]

Channel 10 would like to apologise for the programming error on Saturday.
The TV guide said AFL Grand Final but unfortunately they screened Australia's Biggest Losers by mistake.
Once again Channel 10 apologises for the inconvenience

[mal]

Channel 10 would like to apologise for the programming error on Saturday.
The TV guide said AFL Grand Final but unfortunately they screened Australia's Biggest Losers by mistake.
Once again Channel 10 apologises for the inconvenience

Classic
Rating 9.2
Im putting this in Best Jokes.

[the joker]

We had the power to win

The power to rule

But now the power's in remission

In the Grand Final, sport

Fell twenty goals short

It's true, the whole damn team went missin'

We reached the top, top, top

Just to flop, flop, flop

In misery'n humiliation

We had the power to win

But we just caved in

We're the laughing stock of the nation

POwerrr...