2008 5hitburger Awards

[Rik E Boy]

Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the 2008 5hitburger Awards. These awards are dedicated to all those who sailed aboard the failboat in 2008 and had a 'nice big 5hitburger to eat' (Major League, 1992).

[Rik E Boy]

Port Adelaide Football Club




Port finished 2nd in 2007 but in 2008 they tumbled down the ladder in sensational style and gave their few remaining fans a massive 5hitburger. The fans stayed home to watch the synronised swimming and the players rested in Hospital after Choco put the cue in the rack faster than Johnny Wad.

[Rik E Boy]

Matthew Pavlich



A giant 5hitburger goes to the Pav who, unlike a Pavlova, failed to rise when the heat was applied. Pavlich had several chances to make himself a hero and win matches for his side but instead the Purple Haze had 5hitburgers on the menu for yet another year with a string of close losses. Yum yum, tuck in losers.

[Rik E Boy]

Andrew Demetriou



Andy 'The Fonz' Demetriou dines out on 5hitburgers as they are apparently the favourite food of the Ostrich. Apparently this goose reckons that people will follow Australian Rules in Western Sydney (as last weekend's record crowd in Homebush would suggest) and that we all want to see the delayed coverage of the 2010 Grand Final between the Gold Coast Tampons and Geelong on Sunday night.

Pass the sauce......

[Rik E Boy]

Barry Hall



Anyone who is good at Boxing who loses the plot for shagging a hot young chickie babe deserves to not only forfiet his football career, but also needs to tuck into a nice warm 5hitburger! Bon Appettit you mad bastard.

[Rik E Boy]

Brendan Fevola



After nearly pi55ing away his career on a restaurant window (possibly for being too drunk to be served a 5hitburger), the Fev then proceeded to fail to kick a hundred goals despite Carlton kicking to him 95% of the time they had the ball. He ended the season by making a dcik out of himself. 5hitburger to Craptus Oval!

[Rik E Boy]

The Goal Umpiring Fraternity



The fraternity that has less idea than Delta House will possibly add the element of 'waiting for the fecking video umpire' into our great game because these blokes are seriously 5hithouse. Where better to get their 5hitburgers? Tuck in boys...er...that's if you can see them!

[Rik E Boy]

Channel Seven



What an evil, evil organisation. Carp football coverage, the worst ever Olympics coverage, Delayed football coverage so Brucey can spin his bull5hit and Buckley can argue with that Ox idiot, the completion of the demise of Commetti, the refusal to allow Fox to show the finals on 518..the endless litany of unforgiveable sins earns them the four stacker 5hitburger with extra poo toppings. Choke it down you maggots. Let's hope stokesy starts with the sports department above. Death! Hatred! Maggots!.........5hitburger.

[Rik E Boy]

The Gold Coast Donuts



Spending gazallions of dollars on marketing meerkats who come up with, wait for it....The Gold Coast Football Club ...seconds of thought went into that. Then they spend more gazallions on asking the few people that actually care what they want to call the club (Marlins sounded the lest fishy) and they then prompltly ignore them and come up with......the Gold Coast Blanks, with the dodgiest mascot since Thunda Power appeared with a chip on his shoulder.

The Gold Coast Donuts...proudly sponsored by the 5hitburger Factory.

[Rik E Boy]

Northcansydcoasteroos



This mob didn't even go from Chocolate to boiled lollies as they didn't get near the Choclates. After bleating about a lack of respect all year long (possibly because of two one hundred point September 5hitburgers that were served up last season) they finally get it back and become acknowledged as the 'threat to Geelong' only to be eliminated three weeks later. I'll bet the unfortunate Dean Laidley won't be contemplating praising his side after a five goal loss next time as the Shineboners chomp down on a nice fresh, steaming 5hitburger.

[Rik E Boy]

Fraser Gehrig



The comeback 5hitburger of the year, nay, the century goes to the misguided D Train, Fraser Gehrig who thought it might be fun to go round again while running on a treadmill. Well running the treadmill would have been more fun than not getting a kick for the Saints who ended up playing better without him. The only person to enjoy Gehrig's comeback was Tony Lockett. It will be back to the treadmill for Frase to work off that fattening 5hitburger!

regards,

REB

[Hondo]

Sh!t - if Laidley is copping it who's next!

Very clever thread REB, well played

Stop here!

[Rik E Boy]

Professor Neil Craig



The Professor is an articulate inventor of the Pat Pending Crowcycle, a machine that flies beautifully from March to August. So impressed was the Adelaide Football Corporation that they signed him up for more even though the vehicle resolutely refuses to get off the ground during the month of September. The chef knows exactly when to deliver the 5hitburger to this customer.



Just for you hondo.

regards,

REB

[Dogwatcher]

Poor timing for Hondo eh?

[devilsadvocate]

Where's Nathan Ablett's shitburger?

BIASED!

[Dirko]

Where's Nathan Ablett's shitburger?

BIASED!

Yeah my thoughts too..

The Daddy is famous and I'm a sook, but come back, and realise I'm still a sook, and leave again 5hitburger....

[devilsadvocate]

Where's Nathan Ablett's shitburger?

BIASED!

Yeah my thoughts too..

The Daddy is famous and I'm a sook, but come back, and realise I'm still a sook, and leave again 5hitburger....

That covers it beautifully. Well done Jabba

[locky801]

Professor Neil Craig



The Professor is an articulate inventor of the Pat Pending Crowcycle, a machine that flies beautifully from March to August. So impressed was the Adelaide Football Corporation that they signed him up for more even though the vehicle resolutely refuses to get off the ground during the month of September. The chef knows exactly when to deliver the 5hitburger to this customer.



Just for you hondo.

regards,

REB

Gold mate

[Punk Rooster]

...the Gold Coast Blanks, with the dodgiest mascot since Thunda Power appeared with a chip on his shoulder.

ROTFLMAO!

[Dutchy]

Wheres Steve Johnson's sh1tburger?