BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

[Rik E Boy]

A man walks into a bar for a quiet ale and is surprised to see a seal sitting at the end of the bar, there's no one else inside. Seeing as he was thirsty he ignored the beast and ordered a pint.

After about ten minutes the seal yells out 'YOU SMELL FANTASTIC'

The bloke gives the seal a nod and then shrugs and continues to drink his beer.

After another five minutes the seal yells out 'THAT'S A GREAT HAIRCUT'

The bloke says to the barman 'what's the story here?' and the barman says, 'don't mind him, he's our seal of approval'.

regards,

REB

[mal]

REB

Youre quite an allrounder, sports,jokes.......
Seal of Approval joke, a pass mark at about 7.3.

My turn

Q :Whats very long and hard an Australian women gets
when she marries a Sri Lankan man ?

A: Surname.

[mal]

Mighty Tiger used to go Lennies pub in his younger days.
Mighty Tiger did ok with the babes but did get frustrated
for a little while.
A guy called the Bayman walked out with a shiela on 12
consecutive nights whilst Mighty Tiger missed out.
One night Mighty Tiger approached the barman and asked
" How come I'm younger, better looking and smarter than that
Bayman and yet he picks up the shielas every night ?"
The barman replied.
" Dunno mate , that Bayman just sits in that same corner every
night, dosn't talk and all the guy does is lick his ears with his tongue."

[mighty_tiger_79]

did you have to tell the world

[bayman]

very funny but after all those nights i've only ever gone home with 2 at the same time once, mt does it all the time these days

[Punk Rooster]

did you have to tell the world

hahaha, world's longest drought!

[mighty_tiger_79]

An Irishman returns home from a trip down under.
He goes to his local pub and the barman asks him
"How was your trip to Australia Paddy?"
"Great place that Australia they got me drunk in the morning they got me drunk in the evening and they even let me root thier wives."
" Geez Paddy I thought those Australians were pricks."
" Nah mate only the white ones."

[mal]

MT79

I didn't realise you were capable of producing a classic LOL joke

rating 9.2 your paddy joke

[mighty_tiger_79]

MAL

you have no idea what im capable of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rik E Boy]

Confucius Says...

Man who go to bed with problem wake up with solution in hand

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.


some good advice there.

regards,

REB

[mal]

REB they are classics.

my favourite is the " Baseball is wrong...man with 4 balls cannot walk." !

[bayman]

i ran into mrs mal at the chemist today & among her prescriptions i saw she had purchased some viagra so i curiously asked her couldn't mal perform anymore she said 'no he's fine in that department but he's very restless when sleeping as he twists & turns all night' i said so why the viagra ? she said 'to stop him rolling out of bed'

[Rik E Boy]

i ran into mrs mal at the chemist today & among her prescriptions i saw she had purchased some viagra so i curiously asked her couldn't mal perform anymore she said 'no he's fine in that department but he's very restless when sleeping as he twists & turns all night' i said so why the viagra ? she said 'to stop him rolling out of bed'

Despite some stiff competition, that joke still stands up.

regards,

REB

[Booney]

From REB,our upstanding member* of society.

[Rik E Boy]

No worksite should be without one of these...



regards,

REB

[Rik E Boy]

Q- Why are Camels called the ships of the desert?
A- Because they are full of Arab semen

Q- Why did the gay boxer retire?
A- Because he was badly beaten around the ring

boom boom

regards,

REB

[Rik E Boy]

Q- What's the definition of a dirty bastard
A- A guy who uses coins instead of notes at the strip club

regards,

REB

[mal]

Q- Why are Camels called the ships of the desert?
A- Because they are full of Arab semen

Q- Why did the gay boxer retire?
A- Because he was badly beaten around the ring

boom boom

regards,

REB

camel rated 8-3
boxer rated 8-2

similar joke to yours REB is

Q- Whats Mike Tyson and Liberace got in common?
A- Both got beaten around the ring.

REB keep up the good work.

[bayman]

how do you stop a horse pigrooting (that means bucking) ?
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SHOOT THE PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mal]

BAYMAN AND PUNK ROOSTER in primary school a long long long time ago.

" Hey Punky watcha gunna be when you leave school?"

" 28 Bayman."