BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

[good ol' red and white]

A bear walking through the woods comes across a rabbit.
"Excuse me there Mr Rabbit I'm conducting an interview. Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Sure, go ahead." replies the rabbit.
"Do you have trouble with sh1t sticking to your fur?" asks the bear.
"Why no as a matter of fact I don't."
So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ar5e with it.

[mal]

BLINK and GOODOLREDABDWHITE

blink your eddie joke rating 7-5[my wife laughed]

red/white rating 7 not to bad that one.

my turn

2 blondes having a discussion.
" What sign were you born under."
" No parking."

[mighty_tiger_79]

three men were sitting in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

the German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped.
The others looked at him questioningly.
"that was my pager," he said "i have a microchip under the skin of my arm'.

A few minutes later a phone rang. the japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained 'that was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand'

The hillbilly felt decisively low tech, not to be outdone.

He decided he had to do something just as impressive. he steppedout of the sauna and went to the bathroom. he returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. the others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.


the hillbilly said ' well, will ya look at that,.....................














IM GETTING A FAX

[Punk Rooster]

Mateship between Women...
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day, she told her husband she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends- none of them knew anything about it...

Mateship between Men...
A man didn't come home one night. The next day, he told his wife he had slept over at a mate's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends- 8 of them confirmed that he had indeed slept over, & the other 2 claimed he was still there...

[JK]

LMAO @ PR

[Booney]

A guy and a girl are having a drink at a pub and getting along pretty well.The bloke,feeling lucky,pop's the question,

"How about we go back to my place?"

"No",she says,"I cant.."

"Why not?" he asks.

"Well,Im on my menstrual cycle"

"Ahh,not a problem,I've got my ute,we can throw it in the back!"

[Blue Boy]

A new poll asked 1000 women if they would have sex with Wayne Carey.

Seventy per cent replied " Never again "

[mal]

BLUE BOY a Wayne Carey one for you

Crows recruited Carey.
Power could not.
Can you imagine the half forwrd line for the power back then

CAREY LADE STEVENS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Blue Boy]

BLUE BOY a Wayne Carey one for you

Crows recruited Carey.
Power could not.
Can you imagine the half forwrd line for the power back then

CAREY LADE STEVENS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes - the poor bugger

[Punk Rooster]

Apparently Meat Loaf is doing a tribute show for the Beaconsfield Miners- he'll be opening with "2 Out Of 3 'Aint Bad"....

[Jimmy]

Apparently Meat Loaf is doing a tribute show for the Beaconsfield Miners- he'll be opening with "2 Out Of 3 'Aint Bad"....

OUCH...but witty

loved the carey joke...

ive got one...hope it gets past the 4th umpire and its probably better if heard and not read but ill give it ago...

A young black boy in mississipi is playing in the yard, his mother yells out,

"Jamal, go down da store and git me a wheel of cheese"

So Jamal, taking the money from mum sets off up the hill to the store. On the way back, he is rolling the cheese home down the hill...he slips and lets go of the cheese and it rolls away from him in a hurry, he takes off after it but its gone and rolls away.

At the bottom of the hill, a white man is waiting for the bus and as he steps on, notices a wheel of cheese at his feet, he looks around, sees no one, bends over and takes it.

He gets home and surprises his wife with this huge wheel of cheese.

She asked him where he got it?

"I found it at the bus stop"

"What type of cheese is it?"

"I think its NACHO cheese"

"How can you tell?"

"well" says the white man "When i was on the bus, this little black kid was running along side, banging on the door yelling out, 'NOT YO CHEESE, NOT YO CHEESE'!!!"

[Punk Rooster]

ive got one...hope it gets past the 4th umpire and its probably better if heard and not read but ill give it ago...

A young black boy in mississipi is playing in the yard, his mother yells out,

"Jamal, go down da store and git me a wheel of cheese"

So Jamal, taking the money from mum sets off up the hill to the store. On the way back, he is rolling the cheese home down the hill...he slips and lets go of the cheese and it rolls away from him in a hurry, he takes off after it but its gone and rolls away.

At the bottom of the hill, a white man is waiting for the bus and as he steps on, notices a wheel of cheese at his feet, he looks around, sees no one, bends over and takes it.

He gets home and surprises his wife with this huge wheel of cheese.

She asked him where he got it?

"I found it at the bus stop"

"What type of cheese is it?"

"I think its NACHO cheese"

"How can you tell?"

"well" says the white man "When i was on the bus, this little black kid was running along side, banging on the door yelling out, 'NOT YO CHEESE, NOT YO CHEESE'!!!"

[Jimmy]

:D LOL!!!!!!

both a bit borderline punky, just on different things.

[mal]

JIMMY i liked it
P/ROOSTER shame shame giggle giggle shame.


A guy was walking past a building and read a sign
'Climb the ladder to success.'
He climbed up the stairs to the top of the building
and found a old pensioner naked with a hard on.
The guy was bemused and asked the pensioner
" Who the f..k are you?''
" Oh hi i'm Cess."

[Leaping Lindner]

What's the difference between a porno movie and Kylie Minogue's latest music video?

The music is better in the porno movie.

[Punk Rooster]

What do Collingwood & Beaconsfield have in common?
They both killed Carlton last weekend!

[Jimmy]

What do Collingwood & Beaconsfield have in common?
They both killed Carlton last weekend!

took me 2 seconds...then let out a giggle

that joke is only good for a few more days unless you change it around a bit lol

hmm, another one....

2 gays at home, 1 calls out to the other in the bedroom

"Has the paper boy come yet?"

the other yells back

"Not yet, but he's getting that glassy look in his eye"

[Jimmy]

whats green and smells like pork?























kermits finger

[Coorong]

Who's the toughest;

Cold night in the Simpson desert, stars twinkling in the night sky, dingoes howling in the distance.

Three hang glider pilots, one from Australia, one from South Africa and the other from New Zealand are sitting around a camp fire, each embroiled with the bravado for which they are famous.

A night of tall tales begins:

Kiven the Kiwi begins:

I must be the meanest, toughest heng glider dude there es... Why, jist the other day I linded in a field, scared a crocidile out of the swamp...ut ate sux min before I wrestled ut to the ground...wuth my bare hends!!!!!

Jerry from South Africa typically can't stand being outdone. Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight on a tiny trail ind a fifteen foot Namibian snike slid out from under a rock and made a mofe for me. I grebbed thet borsted with my bare hinds and beet it's head orf ind sucked the poison down in one gulp...Ind I'm still here today.

Stubby in hand, Barry the Aussie remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his penis.

.

[mal]

Well done Jimmy good gay joke rating 7.7

PUNK ROOSTER your Carlton joke was sensational.
rating 9.1[best joke so far excepting mine.]

Mighty tiger 79 The fax machine rated a good 7.2

Keep em comin lads IM getting a few laughs out of these.