by locky801 » Thu Jun 08, 2017 9:27 am
by locky801 » Fri Jun 09, 2017 5:10 pm
by locky801 » Tue Jun 13, 2017 6:19 pm
by locky801 » Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:52 am
by locky801 » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:19 am
by Spargo » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:26 am
locky801 wrote:A lone sniper was just about to assassinate Donald Trump.
Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him. He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse! Mickey Mouse!"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted, "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said, "I meant to shout "Donald, duck!"
by locky801 » Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:24 pm
by nuggety goodness » Mon Jun 19, 2017 5:32 pm
locky801 wrote:THE HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR HOME:
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center. After the community sing along led
by Francoise at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - "Larry the Hypnotist".
Larry explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Each and every
one of you and all at the same time." he said.
The excited chatter dropped to silence as Larry carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket
a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" he said, holding the watch high for all to see.
"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said
Larry.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch
--- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch“.
The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights were
twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.
A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movement of the gently swaying watch. They
were hypnotized.
Then, suddenly, the chain broke!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!
"SHIT!" said Larry.
It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center, and Larry was never invited again...
by nuggety goodness » Mon Jun 19, 2017 5:33 pm
locky801 wrote:THE HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR HOME:
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center. After the community sing along led
by Francoise at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - "Larry the Hypnotist".
Larry explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Each and every
one of you and all at the same time." he said.
The excited chatter dropped to silence as Larry carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket
a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" he said, holding the watch high for all to see.
"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said
Larry.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch
--- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch“.
The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights were
twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.
A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movement of the gently swaying watch. They
were hypnotized.
Then, suddenly, the chain broke!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!
"SHIT!" said Larry.
It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center, and Larry was never invited again...
by nuggety goodness » Mon Jun 19, 2017 5:33 pm
locky801 wrote:THE HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR HOME:
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center. After the community sing along led
by Francoise at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - "Larry the Hypnotist".
Larry explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Each and every
one of you and all at the same time." he said.
The excited chatter dropped to silence as Larry carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket
a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" he said, holding the watch high for all to see.
"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said
Larry.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch
--- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch“.
The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights were
twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.
A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movement of the gently swaying watch. They
were hypnotized.
Then, suddenly, the chain broke!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!
"SHIT!" said Larry.
It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center, and Larry was never invited again...
by the big bang » Wed Jun 21, 2017 12:02 am
by The Bedge » Fri Jun 30, 2017 1:31 pm
Dolphin Treasure wrote:Your an attention seeking embarsement..
by nuggety goodness » Fri Jun 30, 2017 1:46 pm
the big bang wrote:what did you think of that last one NG?
by locky801 » Fri Jul 07, 2017 10:24 am
by locky801 » Sun Jul 16, 2017 9:07 am
by Spargo » Thu Jul 20, 2017 8:34 pm
by locky801 » Thu Jul 27, 2017 7:36 am
by locky801 » Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:24 am
by locky801 » Fri Aug 04, 2017 7:48 am
by locky801 » Thu Aug 24, 2017 11:31 am
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