Things that give you the sh1ts

[OnSong]

yeah, that is exactly what happened to us, and i have been told that there was the notification you posted by two other people since (lol, why couldnt i be told before hand!! damn my poor luck )

have made the call to a security company to get secure window screens installed. next stop might be rebel sport for a cricket bat to leave in a convenient place...

and no need to be sorry mate, unless it was you that broke in

Lol! I would have pooed my pants before taking a step in the front yard.
I have often thought about conducting a fake burglary, where I broke in, stole something, but as soon as it was done, gave it all back and no trouble was had.
Just to see if I could do it. Not so much house burglaries but more like a bank or something.
Obviously not armed, more so stealth and guile, like Entrapment without the sexy tight leather suit.

I too, have recently installed an anti-thief device (cricket bat) in my bedroom, although I'm thinking of upgrading to a four-iron.

[OnSong]

BTW, while on the subject, does anyone else have a problem with sleeping naked? (This sentence will raise a few eyebrows, possibly some capital-letter comments from Johno too)

Recently, I find myself too nervous to sleep in my birthday suit just in case someone breaks in to my home and I have to confront them in the nude.

It's almost my worst nightmare really.

Burglar with knife + me with nothing on = potential disaster/hilarious story.

[Johno6]

LMAO.

last night it was bloody hot and i wsa tempted to sleep naked, and same thing crossed my mind.

my problem is they would see me naked, think im a chick and prob not worrying about fighting me.

i think my newly aquired mulese x shitzu is more intimidating than me

[Booney]

BTW, while on the subject, does anyone else have a problem with sleeping naked? (This sentence will raise a few eyebrows, possibly some capital-letter comments from Johno too)

Recently, I find myself too nervous to sleep in my birthday suit just in case someone breaks in to my home and I have to confront them in the nude.

It's almost my worst nightmare really.

Burglar with knife + me with nothing on = potential disaster/hilarious story.

*ahem*

You people sleep with something on?

I'd not be too confident a pair of bonds would help you hold the would be assailant at bay.

[OnSong]

I try and put myself in their shoes.

Sneaking in to a home, it's dark, angry man with large (or small) penis on display, (half-chub due to natural p!ss wood) comes charging at me from the dark, wielding a Slazenger V500.

Small dog barking at me too.

I'm either gonna run or start swinging what ever weapon I brought with me. But I couldn't say exactly which, so for me, being the angry man in the more likely scenario, means I could potentially be cut somewhere I don't want to be cut - again for some people.

[OnSong]

Just to clarify, I get nervous walking past a pedestal fan in the nude. Just the thought makes me turn away from it.

[Booney]

Just to clarify, I get nervous walking past a pedestal fan in the nude. Just the thought makes me turn away from it.

At what sort of range do you get nervous?

[OnSong]

Just to clarify, I get nervous walking past a pedestal fan in the nude. Just the thought makes me turn away from it.

At what sort of range do you get nervous?

Very close.

[tipper]

this is hilarious, what have i started?

i sleep starkers. the thought of having to chase an intruder while in my birthday suit has crossed my mind, but i just try not to think about it.

to be honest it may be the catalyst to stop the theiving scum from ever doing it again. i mean, how would it go trying to explain that you had the tar beat out of you by a naked bloke? might be enough to set them on the straight and narrow!

[OnSong]

this is hilarious, what have i started?

i sleep starkers. the thought of having to chase an intruder while in my birthday suit has crossed my mind, but i just try not to think about it.

to be honest it may be the catalyst to stop the theiving scum from ever doing it again. i mean, how would it go trying to explain that you had the tar beat out of you by a naked bloke? might be enough to set them on the straight and narrow!

And sodomised with the wide end of a V500 on top of that (if you were that angry).

[HH3]

And sodomised with the wide end of a V500 on top of that (if you were that angry).

Thats my Friday night....

[OnSong]

And sodomised with the wide end of a V500 on top of that (if you were that angry).

Thats my Friday night....

This Friday night.....do it alllllll again.

[tipper]

this is hilarious, what have i started?

i sleep starkers. the thought of having to chase an intruder while in my birthday suit has crossed my mind, but i just try not to think about it.

to be honest it may be the catalyst to stop the theiving scum from ever doing it again. i mean, how would it go trying to explain that you had the tar beat out of you by a naked bloke? might be enough to set them on the straight and narrow!

And sodomised with the wide end of a V500 on top of that (if you were that angry).

to be honest i am actually taking it really calmly. however i am reasonably sure that if i had caught them i would not have been anywhere near this calm. i once caught someone breaking into my car and chased them all the way down the street. (with clothes on)

i am quite confident that if i did catch them that i would be the one with a pending court date, and i reckon it would be worth it too. make them turn up to court and admit in front of everyone that the reason they were assaulted was cos they are thief scum. looks like i am now a firm believer in vigilante justice.....

[Hefty]

I'm a bit of a sleep walker so sleeping naked is not ideal cos I'd wake up with my nob in the vacuum cleaner/peanut butter jar/next door neighbours wife....

[OnSong]

I'm a bit of a sleep walker so sleeping naked is not ideal cos I'd wake up with my nob in the vacuum cleaner/peanut butter jar/next door neighbours wife....

And the negatives are...??

[JK]

i am quite confident that if i did catch them that i would be the one with a pending court date

Apparently the law (according to the Coppers who attended our break in) is "whatever you deem is necessary" if they enter your abode .. I ran a few scenario's past him, and he didn't disapprove of any of them.

Maybe Locky can shed some light?

[footy1992]

i am quite confident that if i did catch them that i would be the one with a pending court date

Apparently the law (according to the Coppers who attended our break in) is "whatever you deem is necessary" if they enter your abode .. I ran a few scenario's past him, and he didn't disapprove of any of them.

Maybe Locky can shed some light?

"reasonable force" i beleive...

[Psyber]

"reasonable force" i beleive...

I believe so, and "reasonable" is subject to varying interpretation.
So, whatever weapon you use, presumably the intruder had brought it with them and lost it to you in the struggle after trying to use it on you...

[tipper]

"reasonable force" i beleive...

I believe so, and "reasonable" is subject to varying interpretation.
So, whatever weapon you use, presumably the intruder had brought it with them and lost it to you in the struggle after trying to use it on you...

for example it was perfectly reasonable for my wife, while defending our daughter beat the snot out of the intruder with a cricket bat.

i then arrived home shortly afterwards officer and called you....

[Booney]

Yes Sir, I too find it hard to believe, but it appears as though the intruder also owned a set of Callaway Warbirds just like mine and brought his 4 iron with him.

May I keep it though as I only broke my 4 iron on a gum tree at Echunga last weekend?