Drunken ramblings

[RustyCage]

Ah drunk people...will they ever say what they mean? Below you'll find some
common drunk phrases and what they translate to in sober language. I hope
this helps you gauge whether or not it's a good idea to let your buddy in
the car when he claims he's "totally fine, dude."

(Drunk Term = Sober Translation)

I LOVE This Song! = I KNOW This Song!

Dude, all the chicks at this party are ugly = Dude, none of the chicks at
this party will talk to me.

Man, I'm hungry = Man, if I don't eat right now I am going to be puking all
over this bar?again.

You're really pretty = I'm going to be ashamed of it tomorrow but tonight
isall about instant gratification, honey.

Want to watch a movie? = Want to come over to my room for some extremely
creepy backrubbing and some equally disturbing neck-nibbling?

I'm soooo drunk = I'm planting a seed in your head that will eventually
grow into a beautiful tree which excuses me from blame for my actions
tonight.

I just, like, want to help animals, ya know? = I just, like, want to get in
your pants, ya know?

You're my best friend, man = You'remy only friend in arm's reach right now
and I need someone to pay for this shot, man.

I don't want to ruin the friendship = You'rea nice girl but you're very
heavy and I'd rather pretend I value our friendship than spend tomorrow
dreaming up ways to kill myself.

This is the BEST night of my LIFE! = This is the BEST night of my WEEKEND!

Let's take a walk, this bar is crowded = I prefer my handjobs outdoors.

I'm totally fine, dude = I'm totally going to be needinga toilet or bucket
in about five minutes, dude.

What's up, Bro? = What's up, guy-who's-name-I-can't-ever-remember?

Who wants to dance? = Who wants to watch me stumble around the party,
waving my arms, spilling my drink and pile-driving my genitals into
anything wearing a skirt?

Hey, did you get the notes from Bio? = Hey, I'm going to ask you about
class because I'm too scared to ask you out.

I had, like, ten beers before I even came out = I'm, like, the kind of guy
that lies about how much I drink.

Dude, I didn't even make it out of the dorms last night! = Dude, my
girlfriend made me stayin and watch the Gilmore Girls season 1 DVD with her
last night!

[duncs7]

LOL
That is so true. Ive used a few of them myself!