SA Footy

I like to read and write on this forum because, well it's nice, and passe's the time.
I have a need to ask people out there for some advice.
My middle child is having a real hard time getting used to school life, not the learning part, but the making friends bit.
He is a nice boy, who I think has been brought up properly with manners, & to respect other people.
He likes what all kid's at aged 5 like, but seems to be the one on the outer with others because he is not absolutley nuts, or does not, "fit the mould".

Any advice?

Moe wrote:I like to read and write on this forum because, well it's nice, and passe's the time.
I have a need to ask people out there for some advice.
My middle child is having a real hard time getting used to school life, not the learning part, but the making friends bit.
He is a nice boy, who I think has been brought up properly with manners, & to respect other people.
He likes what all kid's at aged 5 like, but seems to be the one on the outer with others because he is not absolutley nuts, or does not, "fit the mould".

Any advice?

I'm not a father, but your young fella sounds exactly like I was, and still am. I feel for the poor bugger. I don't feel qualified to give advice, but just rest assured that your son is not alone, and that the friends he eventually does make will be friends for life, as they will be like-minded individuals.

Does your son play any sports or have any extracurricular activities? I always found that these brought me out of my shell with people who had the same interests.

Moe wrote:I like to read and write on this forum because, well it's nice, and passe's the time.
I have a need to ask people out there for some advice.
My middle child is having a real hard time getting used to school life, not the learning part, but the making friends bit.
He is a nice boy, who I think has been brought up properly with manners, & to respect other people.
He likes what all kid's at aged 5 like, but seems to be the one on the outer with others because he is not absolutley nuts, or does not, "fit the mould".

Any advice?

The best advice I give my boy is to be himself and kids will come to him. He hasn't had much trouble making friends but just last week he was shattered because one of his mates didn't invite him to his birthday party. Mine is five also and I must admit pretty good at getting other kids involved, he has just started playing footy and loves the team thing. My daughter I think will be the same as your son, she is three but dependent on a couple of friends sh has at child care, if they are not there she goes back in her shell. I have found that our son goes to a catholic school and we are one of the "10%" that they let in that are not religious in any way, we don't have the time to see our current friends let alone make new ones with other parents so sometimes I have found that the parents influence who their kids are mates with, not intentionally just by who they associate with. You are not alone, but you can actually make friends for him as much as you want to, I even played Chasey with the kids in the morning to start to help, it didn't kids liked me because I played with them but not my boy.

At school is he in a reception class or reception/grade 1 class? That makes a difference too, mine was in a mix class last year and he wasn't quite five yet and there were kids in his class turning seven, they have different interests, this year he is back at a straight reception and its much better.

does he play a sport? does he go to youth group? he needs some sort of interaction with other kids.

I don't feel qualified nor have the experience to offer any suggestions other than those already offered in here, but would love if youd keep us updated on what hopefully becomes an improved situation for your boy. My eldest starts school next year and I think he's likely to face a similar challenge.

As a lot of you know, I am a very shy, introverted type & if I hadn't jumped in at an early age & started playing footy for Salisbury at only 9 years of age, I would probably be living alone with my dog, somewhere out the back of Mount Mary. Sporting organisations always bring kids together & form great friendships & strengthen self-confidence.

CENTURION wrote: I would probably be living alone with my dog, somewhere out the back of Mount Mary.

I have a mate who lives out that way...with his dog.

Moe wrote: He is a nice boy, who I think has been brought up properly with manners, & to respect other people.

It is that quality that will see him go far. Keep instilling that in him.

Dogwatcher wrote:

CENTURION wrote: I would probably be living alone with my dog, somewhere out the back of Mount Mary.

I have a mate who lives out that way...with his dog.

I have a cousin of the same type who lives out the back of Blinman, in an old farmhouse, with his dog and his collection of old muscle cars.
His younger sister on the other hand lives in Adelaide, mixes in the singles scene still, and has been married several times.
They are both in their 60s.

Dogwatcher wrote:

CENTURION wrote: I would probably be living alone with my dog, somewhere out the back of Mount Mary.

I have a mate who lives out that way...with his dog.

is his name Lockett?

talk to his teacher too, there may be something that they have picked up on, it could be he is a little shy in a group setting, or just likes to sit and do his own thing, or it could be a social skills thing, which is very common for his age, and will come with time.

I was the runt of the litter, and picked on by all the try hard hoodlums of my schools.

I must have been a disaster.

The toughest guys in the school would come to my aid.

Funny how I remember their names.

Ian Cockshel and Laurie Winning.

Thankyou guys.

We are talking along time ago guys.

Primary and high schools...

You have to let your kids go, moe.

Let them sort their own life out and stop worrying.

Moe wrote:I like to read and write on this forum because, well it's nice, and passe's the time.
I have a need to ask people out there for some advice.
My middle child is having a real hard time getting used to school life, not the learning part, but the making friends bit.
He is a nice boy, who I think has been brought up properly with manners, & to respect other people.
He likes what all kid's at aged 5 like, but seems to be the one on the outer with others because he is not absolutley nuts, or does not, "fit the mould".

Any advice?

what does he like to do? Footy? Golf? Cricket? Fishing?

Are you over parenting them my friend...?

An individual will find friends of their own level.

Invite class mates to a birthdayparty@maccas.

Moe wrote:I like to read and write on this forum because, well it's nice, and passe's the time.
I have a need to ask people out there for some advice.
My middle child is having a real hard time getting used to school life, not the learning part, but the making friends bit.
He is a nice boy, who I think has been brought up properly with manners, & to respect other people.
He likes what all kid's at aged 5 like, but seems to be the one on the outer with others because he is not absolutley nuts, or does not, "fit the mould".

Any advice?

Moe

Does he actually like playing by himself? A mate of mine has a 5 year old little boy who is much the same, happy in his own company and doesn't mind being on the outer.

If he doesn't like playing by himself, encourage him to ask his classmates to 'join in'.

If he does, then others may gravitate to him, eventually.

Trust me, there is nothing worse than hearing your 5 year old come home from school and say "no, I just sat there and didn't do anything and no one played with me". It tore my heart out when my 5yo daughter came home and told me this.

Alternately, have a chat to the teacher. At a colleague of mines school, they have the 'play seat', which kids sit in if they need to join in playing with others. Other kids are encouraged to go up to that person in the seat and get them to join in what they're doing. They mightn't exactly LOVE what the other kids invite them to do, but they get involved and experience different things. I actually like the idea.

Best of luck Moe. But I reckon schools are better equipped to deal with situations like this nowadays.

Moe wrote:I like to read and write on this forum because, well it's nice, and passe's the time.
I have a need to ask people out there for some advice.
My middle child is having a real hard time getting used to school life, not the learning part, but the making friends bit.
He is a nice boy, who I think has been brought up properly with manners, & to respect other people.
He likes what all kid's at aged 5 like, but seems to be the one on the outer with others because he is not absolutley nuts, or does not, "fit the mould".

Any advice?

does your son have a problem with this, or more so you?
as stated earlier, he may enjoy his own comapny.

Thanks for the advice from all.
Yes, he does have extra curricular activities, including Under 8 football (where I am his coach) and Karate, which he loves.
From further investigation, it seems there is a problem with only 2 other boys at school, who seem to be creating most of his concerns.
He has mentioned quite a few other names recently of which he has made friends, and also seems quite poular with the girls, so maybe I do have to sit back a bit and give him the chance to grow up.

Moe wrote:Thanks for the advice from all.
Yes, he does have extra curricular activities, including Under 8 football (where I am his coach) and Karate, which he loves.
From further investigation, it seems there is a problem with only 2 other boys at school, who seem to be creating most of his concerns.
He has mentioned quite a few other names recently of which he has made friends, and also seems quite poular with the girls, so maybe I do have to sit back a bit and give him the chance to grow up.

It sounds like you're doing a great job mate, there's nothing wrong with looking out for the little fella.

Failed Creation wrote:

Moe wrote:Thanks for the advice from all.
Yes, he does have extra curricular activities, including Under 8 football (where I am his coach) and Karate, which he loves.
From further investigation, it seems there is a problem with only 2 other boys at school, who seem to be creating most of his concerns.
He has mentioned quite a few other names recently of which he has made friends, and also seems quite poular with the girls, so maybe I do have to sit back a bit and give him the chance to grow up.

It sounds like you're doing a great job mate, there's nothing wrong with looking out for the little fella.

Keep up the good work, Dad.

In reception the teacher should be very aware of how the children are coping socially and ensuring through classroom seating and activities that they have every chance to form bonds with others.

Having said that, kids eventually find their place... The quiet kids stick together, naughty kids stick together, etc...

I'm sure he'll be fine... (good that you notice and care though!)