Depression and help or lack of

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Depression and help or lack of

Postby Sorry Dude » Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:29 am

It hurts me to be writing this but my best mate of 23 years took his life due to suffering from depression last week. If you have or know of someone who is suffering please help in anyway you can.

I admit I was one person who never really thought it was as big as it was but after reading this article (and growing up in the area) it is a major problem not just in this area but everywhere.

Nothing can bring the people back that have lost their lives to depression but we can try and make people aware of the problem and help where possible.

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/sout ... 1b5712739e
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby Booney » Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:39 am

I'm sorry to hear that Dude and one can only hope that people reach out for help, someone offers it to them or both before it is too late.

Condolonces mate.
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If you want to go far, go together.
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby heater31 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:56 am

I'm the same, very good mate decided the same thing at age 19 seven years ago this April :(

We all had no idea but on reflection there were some signs. He had some good moments in the lead up but obviously some lows as well.

Biggest thing for me was he chose a Saturday night to do it and probably 2 weeks beforehand I spoke to him late on a Saturday night.
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby HH3 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:27 am

My Dad took his own life in January last year. Still coming to terms with it over a year later.
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby Choccies » Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:20 pm

It is an interesting area of discussion as I know a young lad who is suffering at the moment but seems stand-off-ish if approached. I really want to help him but don't know where the line of 'help' and 'annoyance' is.... The last thing I would want is to be thinking "what if"....
It really is an unknown quantity for some of us to try and understand their situation and help where we can without pushing anything to far.
I sympathise with anyone who has seen the worst of this illness as some of the posters above have stated....
I love grapes. With grapes, you always get another chance. You know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. If you have a crappy grape, no problem-just move on to the next. ‘Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby Sorry Dude » Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:36 pm

Choccies wrote:It is an interesting area of discussion as I know a young lad who is suffering at the moment but seems stand-off-ish if approached. I really want to help him but don't know where the line of 'help' and 'annoyance' is.... The last thing I would want is to be thinking "what if"....
It really is an unknown quantity for some of us to try and understand their situation and help where we can without pushing anything to far.
I sympathise with anyone who has seen the worst of this illness as some of the posters above have stated....

It is a very fine line between the two. I think the key is to make it known that anytime he feels the need to have a chat you are more than ready to listen. Or even take him aside to a footy game or something like that and see if he will open up from there?
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby MatteeG » Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:39 pm

Take care SD...
helicopterking wrote:Flaggies will choke. Always have.
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby Q. » Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:48 pm

Some don't ever see all the love and support they have or could have had.

Last year I watched two different groups of people deal with a loved one taking their own life. It's sad how depression blinds you to the good people around you.

"It's always darkest before the dawn"
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby Aerie » Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:15 pm

Very true Q.

We lost a member of our family last November to suicide (my 18 yo brother in law). It's sad to learn that it is all too common.
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby smac » Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:34 pm

Sorry Dude wrote:
Choccies wrote:It is an interesting area of discussion as I know a young lad who is suffering at the moment but seems stand-off-ish if approached. I really want to help him but don't know where the line of 'help' and 'annoyance' is.... The last thing I would want is to be thinking "what if"....
It really is an unknown quantity for some of us to try and understand their situation and help where we can without pushing anything to far.
I sympathise with anyone who has seen the worst of this illness as some of the posters above have stated....

It is a very fine line between the two. I think the key is to make it known that anytime he feels the need to have a chat you are more than ready to listen. Or even take him aside to a footy game or something like that and see if he will open up from there?

Indeed. Pressure and persistance can be mistaken for each other.

Do your best to persist, one day he'll benefit and maybe even thank you for it.
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby pels » Tue Mar 20, 2012 6:45 pm

Sorry Dude wrote:
Choccies wrote:It is an interesting area of discussion as I know a young lad who is suffering at the moment but seems stand-off-ish if approached. I really want to help him but don't know where the line of 'help' and 'annoyance' is.... The last thing I would want is to be thinking "what if"....
It really is an unknown quantity for some of us to try and understand their situation and help where we can without pushing anything to far.
I sympathise with anyone who has seen the worst of this illness as some of the posters above have stated....

It is a very fine line between the two. I think the key is to make it known that anytime he feels the need to have a chat you are more than ready to listen. Or even take him aside to a footy game or something like that and see if he will open up from there?


Very good advice there SD just let him know you are there for him anytime he needs to chat and keep reinforcing positive thoughts and his self esteem.Encourage him to reach out if needed as there is always someone willing to help.
Its a crappy illness and as a society we have come a long way in dealing with it better, but we can do a lot more.We just have to keep reinforcing the point its a illness and because its a mental illness its no different there is always help.
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby Mr66 » Thu Mar 29, 2012 3:51 pm

My advice;
Get him to a GP ASAP.
The GP can refer him to a psychologist for therapy.
Depending on what is needed, you might be able to claim the therapy on Medicare.
You can get 12 visits per year subsidised.
But hurry, for the obvious reasons and the fact that the federal government will be cutting this back to 6.
If one person does it, it's insanity. If millions do it, it's religion.

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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby overloaded » Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:06 pm

?dont agree

just raising a point Hinch said
therealROSSCO wrote:Now listen to this loud and clear.....

I have not been approached to coach at the WFC this year, next year or any year. I have not approached the WFC to coach this year, next year or any year. This is an unconditional statement.
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby BIG SEXY » Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:41 pm

Choccies wrote:It is an interesting area of discussion as I know a young lad who is suffering at the moment but seems stand-off-ish if approached. I really want to help him but don't know where the line of 'help' and 'annoyance' is.... The last thing I would want is to be thinking "what if"....
It really is an unknown quantity for some of us to try and understand their situation and help where we can without pushing anything to far.
I sympathise with anyone who has seen the worst of this illness as some of the posters above have stated....


as someone whos been there all you want to do is get people away from you so you dont "infect" them (for want of a better word) all i can suggest is support him, make sure he knows you do and keep a close eye on him...suggest you go to a GP with him for a chat. or find some support group, or someone who knows what its like to be at the bottom. for gods sake though dont call it a support group!
no matter what happens you see absolutely no positives in life. i have great family and friends. good job house etc etc. all i could see though was the futility of life. i saw a cartoon once of a bloke being handed a million dollar cheque and in a thought bubble he said they spelled my name wrong. i didnt realise something was up until one night i was sitting on the couch at 1 am unable to sleep and just started crying until about 5 am. chances are your mate doesnt think anything is wrong either
keep us informed choccies
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Re: Depression and help or lack of

Postby Psyber » Fri Mar 30, 2012 11:22 am

Mr66 wrote:My advice;
Get him to a GP ASAP.
The GP can refer him to a psychologist for therapy.
Depending on what is needed, you might be able to claim the therapy on Medicare.
You can get 12 visits per year subsidised.
But hurry, for the obvious reasons and the fact that the federal government will be cutting this back to 6.
However, if he is one of the 50% of those presenting with depressive symptoms whose condition's aetiology is genetic/biochemical not psychological that will do no good at all.
Hopefully, the GP can make the distinction by symptom patterns and family history and refer appropriately, or prescribe appropriately himself.
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