SA Footy

With the Christmas season upon us, each of us will be bursting any number of Xmas crackers over the next few days, and forced to suffer through the wearing of crap paper hats, discovering crap novelty items, and the reading of crap jokes.

Had festivus lunch at the pub today, and being near Xmas, each of us had a Christmas cracker.

The crap joke in mine:

Why did the mechanic sleep under the car?
Because he wanted to get up oily in the morning.

Please use this thread to share the crap jokes you get in your Christmas crackers. The more adventurous among you can take photos of the crap novelty items and post them here.

Bah. Humbug.

We had this one at the office party last week
What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis
I struggled to control myself

Sky Pilot wrote:We had this one at the office party last week
What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis
I struggled to control myself

I actually laughed at that!

That awful one on the Woollies ad a couple of years back...

What is the key to a good Christmas?
A tur-key.

I still hate that ad

How does a butcher introduce his wife?

Meat Patti

pafc1870 wrote:

Sky Pilot wrote:We had this one at the office party last week
What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis
I struggled to control myself

I actually laughed at that!

Once I got it I laughed

What did the martian say to the petrol pump?

Take your finger out of your ear when I'm talking to you.

__________________________________________________________

Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?

Because he wanted to see how long he slept.

Why do cows sit down when it rains?

To keep each udder dry!



What do you call a bear with no hair?

Fred Bear


Wocka Wocka Wocka....Merry Christmas All.

Columbo wrote:Why do cows sit down when it rains?

To keep each udder dry!

Someone at my Xmas lunch got that one.

In my cracker:

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her pupils were so bright.

And this bonus trivia question:

How many tentacles does a squid have?
10.

Got a ripper

The guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody: "I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!!!" So everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!!!" And the other guy says; "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."



I knew studying maths would pay off eventually.

mate u deserve an engraved pen for xmas

You'd be better off listing NON crap jokes

They're all rubbish. How people earn a living with this is beyond me.

They get a whole year to come up with the stuff as well.

Squids wrote:They get a whole year to come up with the stuff as well.

obviously they get employed in October each month... get put under pressure to deliver and then get whisked away into the wilderness for another 12 months.

Q: What do you give a man who has everything?
A: Antibiotics.

Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing?

They always drop their needles

What chips do pilots like?

Plain.

What's green and sits at the bottom of the toilet?

Kermit the Bog.

why is 6 scared of 7?
because 7, 8, 9