Dad Jokes

[CK]

We've heard so many of them over the years...what were the sorts of jokes your Dad used to trot out, usually to groans, the worse the better?

Mine was fond of the old:

"I'm hungry"
"Hi, hungry"

One I heard the other day which was so groanworthy....How did The Eagles find the big cat hiding in the jungle?

You can't hide those lion eyes..

Fire away....

[Q.]

SAFooty's bad pun meme.

[Phantom Gossiper]

"I'm hungry"
"Hi, hungry".

hahaha i used to get that one!

[helicopterking]

" Daaaad,I feel like an Ice-Cream"
"Thats funny, you dont look like one"


"Daaaad,ive got something in my eye"
"Your right, an eyeball"

[Mr Beefy]

I'll kick your arse until your nose bleeds

[Dirko]

Dad used to call me "Youth"

asked him why and he said it's short for Euthanasia as I'd be the death of him

[CoverKing]

Dad used to call me "Youth"

asked him why and he said it's short for Euthanasia as I'd be the death of him

Quality!

[Booney]

I got called Aspro.

[Lightning McQueen]

Why'd the koala fall out of the tree??



Coz it was dead.


Why'd the elephant fall out of the tree??


Coz it was stapled to the koala.



Did you hear about the ant that died?


It got hit by a falling koala and elephant.

[OnSong]

I'll kick your arse until your nose bleeds

x2

[A Mum]

'A dad' says to our kids....

If you do such and such "Your arse is grass and I'm a lawnmower"....lol

This thread should be 'mum and dad jokes' as my mum was shocker...

"What's for tea?"
"S*** with sugar on it" or "S*** on toast"

Oh yay..lol

[heater31]

I got that too mum....

Although mine was either on a stick or the pig variety with some type of gum.

When the Carl Baron DVD was out, when told it was on a stick I would ask if pumpkin was on the menu too. For those that have seen it will know what I'm on about.

[A Mum]

I got that too mum....

Although mine was either on a stick or the pig variety with some type of gum.

When the Carl Baron DVD was out, when told it was on a stick I would ask if pumpkin was on the menu too. For those that have seen it will know what I'm on about.

That's why I think we love the Carl Barron stuff so much - it's sooooo true.

Pretty sure we've seen that DVD at least 20 times

[tipper]

If we were misbehaving (obviously a rare occurrence...... )

"i brought you into this world, i can take you out!"

[the milky bar kid]

My old man uses most dad jokes...
One unique one he used was about his mate Jose, whom he always had to refer to as JosB.... He thought it was the funniest thing in the world...

[The Ash Man]

'A dad' says to our kids....

If you do such and such "Your arse is grass and I'm a lawnmower"....lol

This thread should be 'mum and dad jokes' as my mum was shocker...

"What's for tea?"
"S*** with sugar on it" or "S*** on toast"

Oh yay..lol

My Dad used to say "if you got shit on toast you would complain the bread was stale"

[A Mum]

'A dad' says to our kids....

If you do such and such "Your arse is grass and I'm a lawnmower"....lol

This thread should be 'mum and dad jokes' as my mum was shocker...

"What's for tea?"
"S*** with sugar on it" or "S*** on toast"

Oh yay..lol

My Dad used to say "if you got **** on toast you would complain the bread was stale"

I could even imagine him saying that

[piccachu]

to of my favourites i have heard over the years

i would sit under the shit house just to hear her fart
i would eat a yard of her shit and complain if it was an inch short

[The Ash Man]

to of my favourites i have heard over the years

i would sit under the sh!t house just to hear her fart
i would eat a yard of her Sh!t and complain if it was an inch short

I would drink her bath water is one a guy at the pub always says

[Footy Smart]

In the evening my dad would all of a sudden yell "yep ill be there in a sec"

When we I asked him what and who he was speaking to he replied "beds calling me"