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A cautionary tale

PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:26 pm
by JAS
A little advice for those with wives of a certain age...and those who have that pleasure yet to come...I think the moral could be 'don't take up golf' :))

Regards
JAS

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is important for men to remember that, as
Women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Mike. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Laura. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Laura to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the retirement benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some
Home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I
Mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong
Points..

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the grass. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Laura. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


EDITOR'S NOTE:
Mike died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Laura was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Mike, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf Club.

Re: A cautionary tale

PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:36 pm
by LMA
If that first paragraph is true than Mrs LMA has the domestic talent of an 85 year old

Re: A cautionary tale

PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:14 pm
by mal
I was dating this blonde
She was wierd, very dumbish, but a very pretty women
We dated a few times, I then met her at the shopping centre years later
I asked how she was, and she opened up with this story :::::

After we dated, ended up getting very derpessed
It started when I shifted to that flat in Salisbury
My flat got burgled and I started getting paranoid
From then on it seemed that everytime I read the paper someone was getting robbed
And it always seemed to be in the area
I became increasingly scared I would get mugged and robbed in my flat
I got paranoid, the doctors and phyciatrists put me on anti depressants, I slipped into the world of depression
This went on for years
There were no answers, I would read these newspaper storys, and imagined it would happen to me next
I tried Naturopaths, Meditating, more medications, herbal remedies but in the end nothing could release me from my phobia

Then one day I saw another therapist and went thru the rigmorale of my life
I got to the part about the paranoia of reading of the insessive crimes near my flat

And then he found the answer, and cured me
He worked out the paper I was reading was the Messenger Press