Horror Work Colleague

[Strawb]

Thanks to MP for giving me this idea. Now we don't have to name the person or where we worked with them but we have all had some shockers.
I have worked with one in retail who we nick named KB because she was always hungry for a sale. Outside of work she was a top person to talk to and deal with but working with her was a nightmare. She would steal sales from underneath you and would ask you for help when she was behind in sales targets and you had already made your target but never returned the favour.
The highlight was I had organised to move into the first house I had brought. On a long weekend and I had two months in advance arrange to have these days off. Well because it was a long weekend she threatened to quit if she couldn't have the days off I had organised. So I ended up having to have friends and family move my house and I did it when I had finished work and after visiting my good wife in hospital as she was stuck in there pregnant with the twins. After Christmas of that year she quit because she found a better job. I never did enjoy working with her and was glad when she left.

[fisho mcspaz]

I'll go into detail on some of my horror colleagues tomorrow (I'm a bit tired now). However, I did get a giggle when my brother-in-law was telling us about some woman he worked with and couldn't stand. 'Why, what's wrong with her?' 'Let's put it this way, my nickname for her is "Jabba the Slut" .' Say no more.

[Media Park]

I have a few of these stories Strawb (not similar to yours, but plenty of "Horror" workmates)...

First job after leaving school, I was working in a bottleshop, and it was pretty obvious to all comers that I wanted to impress people, and not present myself as an absolute drop kick school leaver, who didn't have the brains or dedication to go to further education...

Working the saturday night shift (the busiest shift of the week), with one other guy, who I managed to get reasonably close to as a mate.

He's absolutely hungover as anything, sitting out the back, hands in his head, moaning and groaning...

Eventually, putting on my most authorative voice (which is pretty good now, but was shocking then), I told him to go home...

The protest about it being the busy shift didn't phase me too much, as he was no help in his state anyway...

Eventually he calls a taxi and leaves, and I work my backside off on my own for the next couple of hours before closing...

I count the till at the end of the night (normally he would have done it), send off the figures, and, on my way home, I drop the workmate's shop key back to him (I didn't have my own).

Next morning (I wasn't working), the manager calls me, and asks me to come in.

Me, thinking it is another shift, gets into my work gear, and, when I rock up, it's straight out the back, where he tunes me for a horribly long time, about missing money, and about how my work colleague said that he thought I had been acting suspiciously around the time that he counted the till and thought I had something to hide!

So this buttweasel had lied through his teeth to the boss, saying he worked the whole shift, and then tried to dump me in the brown stuff.

It didn't help my mood later that week, when again working with the "Horror," that he thanked me for keeping quiet, and that he put the money back in the till (he took it to pay for his taxi)...

[Lightning McQueen]

Worked in a factory with an old Greek bloke that would take a dump with the door open and pants down around his ankles, raw onion in one hand, bread roll in the other, alternating bites.
The dude was a millionaire aswell, wouldn't spend a cent where he didn't HAVE to.

[Johno6]

where do i start..... oh my word


one guy will walk up and fart on u out of nowhere and find it funny.
he will give u wety willys while on phone to customers
he sweats by walkin up stairs so he grabs a heap of tissues wipes all the sweat from his face then chucks the tissues on the floor next to my chair
but if u say ur an idiot to him he takes it personally and has a heart to heart chat to u to make sure everything is ok... FFS

one chick stinsk of BO really bad it makes me feel sick

[Lightning McQueen]

where do i start..... oh my word


one guy will walk up and fart on u out of nowhere and find it funny.
he will give u wety willys while on phone to customers
he sweats by walkin up stairs so he grabs a heap of tissues wipes all the sweat from his face then chucks the tissues on the floor next to my chair
but if u say ur an idiot to him he takes it personally and has a heart to heart chat to u to make sure everything is ok... FFS

one chick stinsk of BO really bad it makes me feel sick

Have you tried telling her?

[Johno6]

funny you should mention that.... i just did
and it went down as u would of expected.
its my Gf's sisters tho... so makes it even funnier

this is exactly what i said

"***** dont take this the wrong way.......but you stink of BO"

she didnt take to it so well.. and denies she smell but she went and spray a can of deoderant or perfume on her to mask the smell.
it is really bad tho... like stomach churnin bad.
its like she runs a marathon everyday b4 she comes to work.

[Lightning McQueen]

funny you should mention that.... i just did
and it went down as u would of expected.
its my Gf's sisters tho... so makes it even funnier

this is exactly what i said

"***** dont take this the wrong way.......but you stink of BO"

she didnt take to it so well.. and denies she smell but she went and spray a can of deoderant or perfume on her to mask the smell.
it is really bad tho... like stomach churnin bad.
its like she runs a marathon everyday b4 she comes to work.

Some people can't smell it on themselves, I can't help myself but to point things out to people, I try to be tactful, they can take it either way they like after that. If I have a booger, I'd rather be told than to walk around with it all day.

[Drop Bear]

funny you should mention that.... i just did
and it went down as u would of expected.
its my Gf's sisters tho... so makes it even funnier

this is exactly what i said

"***** dont take this the wrong way.......but you stink of BO"

she didnt take to it so well.. and denies she smell but she went and spray a can of deoderant or perfume on her to mask the smell.
it is really bad tho... like stomach churnin bad.
its like she runs a marathon everyday b4 she comes to work.

Some people can't smell it on themselves, I can't help myself but to point things out to people, I try to be tactful, they can take it either way they like after that. If I have a booger, I'd rather be told than to walk around with it all day.

I'm always happy for people to point stuff like that out to me, but then again, we're blokes.

[Johno6]

id prefer someone to say to me
excuse me johno but i can see ur penis hanging out the bottom of ur shorts...

[Lightning McQueen]

id prefer someone to say to me
excuse me johno but i can see ur penis hanging out the bottom of ur shorts...

Is this you?

[Johno6]

touche my good man....touche!

[Drop Bear]

id prefer someone to say to me
excuse me johno but i can see ur penis hanging out the bottom of ur shorts...

Or better yet, the bottom of your trousers.

[Brucetiki]

At my previous job, there was a team leader who I ended up nicknaming The Freak (because the only person I knew who could get away with that much incompetence was Joan Ferguson herself).

He was my mates team leader, and in the 18 months my mate worked there, this team leader caused every female member of his team to break down in tears. Also, in a 12 month period, he had at least 4 harassment complaints lodged against him (I was the 4th complainant), yet he amazingly kept his team leader role, and didn't even appear to be performance managed.

Needless to say though he didn't give me any crap after I complained against him (in fact he appeared to crap himself every time I went near him)!

[Dog_ger]

I have worked with a few very funny people at times.

Give some people, some power and it does go to their heads.

I have always taken a backward step to agression in the workplace.

And had a great chuckle to myself over the idiocy of these people.

Fortunately, I have outlasted all comers of them, to this date.

Workplace bullies (idiots) never last long.

[LMA]

Worked in a factory with an old Greek bloke that would take a dump with the door open and pants down around his ankles, raw onion in one hand, bread roll in the other, alternating bites.
The dude was a millionaire aswell, wouldn't spend a cent where he didn't HAVE to.

Could of been worse, he could of been eating dick cheese instead of the raw onion

[fisho mcspaz]

I suppose I wasn't exactly an ideal person to work with. I worked at Woolies for a couple of years after I finished high school and I always did my job fairly well - I did get in trouble occasionally for swearing in front of the customers, can't help it, I wasn't raised that way but for some reason bad language comes naturally to me. But work parties were a different matter. I was the sort of person who would get drunk, take off all their clothes and do a handstand on the bonnet of the nearest car. I think a lot of people disapproved of me. Which is annoying in retrospect - I never judged anyone by that sort of criteria myself.

[mickey]

I suppose I wasn't exactly an ideal person to work with. I worked at Woolies for a couple of years after I finished high school and I always did my job fairly well - I did get in trouble occasionally for swearing in front of the customers, can't help it, I wasn't raised that way but for some reason bad language comes naturally to me. But work parties were a different matter. I was the sort of person who would get drunk, take off all their clothes and do a handstand on the bonnet of the nearest car. I think a lot of people disapproved of me. Which is annoying in retrospect - I never judged anyone by that sort of criteria myself.

Your welcome at any party i ever have Fisho

[Media Park]

id prefer someone to say to me
excuse me johno but i can see ur penis hanging out the bottom of ur shorts...

Or better yet, the bottom of your trousers.

Johno, Why do you keep scratching your ankles???

"I'm not..."

[Felch]

Someone i know had an employee who had a strong liking for storing smallgoods (salami, metwurst, cabana, etc) in his anal cavity. This is true, i swear !