SA Footy

What would you do if you had a situation like this?

Yesterday evening I logged onto my social networking profile to find a new friend request. After getting that warm fuzzy feeling that someone wants to be my friend and nothing untoward at this point in time I enquire as to who is trying to befriend me. Shock horror moments later as I discover that my 'new' friend is a Female work colleague's daughter.

The girl does come into our office on a regular basis to wait for her mother to finish work for the day after school and take her to her sports training. We do chat whilst she is in the office and I tease her lightly about a male friend of hers that her mother has told me about and she does give it back. All good light hearted fun.

Only difficulty is that this girl is barely 15 and I am in my mid 20's, accepting and refusing the request can open up a whole set of problems. At this point in time I have neither accepted or denied the request.

What to do

On the plus side her mother does know she has added me as the girl had to ask her for my last name and I did bring this up this morning at work.

Dont see the big deal.

Unless you think something might come of it.

Was thinking the same as you Sir Ron.

Ask the mum what she thinks

I had the same problem...

Footy mates child "added" me, and I was thinking it was the parent, who often told me that they went on their child's page...

I "accepted," and when they popped up and started chatting, it became very apparent that it wasn't the parent, but the 14 year old daughter, and a lot of the things on my page weren't appropriate (and neither were the things she was saying!!!).

Quick fix- if it gets out of hand, delete!

Media Park wrote:I had the same problem...

Footy mates child "added" me, and I was thinking it was the parent, who often told me that they went on their child's page...

I "accepted," and when they popped up and started chatting, it became very apparent that it wasn't the parent, but the 14 year old daughter, and a lot of the things on my page weren't appropriate (and neither were the things she was saying!!!).

Quick fix- if it gets out of hand, delete!

this is the exact scenario that I had too. Some of the stuff I post on my status updates are really not fit for someone that age. The girl has been dobbed in by her step sister who is my age for inappropriate things on her page...

I'd suggest that if you're in any doubt it's probably best to err on the side of caution and say no and maybe get the mum to help you explain it to her so it doesn't hurt her feelings. Or you could actually show the mum your facebook page so she can see for herself the content you have on there and decide if she's still happy with it.

You might also want to consider the chance that what most of us adults would consider a bit of harmless teasing/ banter/flirting could easily be thought of as something more by a 15yo girl...I'm sure the last thing you need is a teenage stalker.

Regards
JAS

JAS wrote:I'd suggest that if you're in any doubt it's probably best to err on the side of caution and say no and maybe get the mum to help you explain it to her so it doesn't hurt her feelings. Or you could actually show the mum your facebook page so she can see for herself the content you have on there and decide if she's still happy with it.

You might also want to consider the chance that what most of us adults would consider a bit of harmless teasing/ banter/flirting could easily be thought of as something more by a 15yo girl...I'm sure the last thing you need is a teenage stalker.

Regards
JAS

That's generally something to be avoided...

What to do?

Log off, turn off your computer, get off your bum, venture out of the house and form some meaningful social relationships with Real People.

In Real Life (tm) you'll never befriend a 14 year old girl and later find out that she's actually a hairy overweight forty-something bloke...

Pseudo wrote:What to do?

Log off, turn off your computer, get off your bum, venture out of the house and form some meaningful social relationships with Real People.

In Real Life (tm) you'll never befriend a 14 year old girl and later find out that she's actually a hairy overweight forty-something bloke...

In real life you would never "befriend" a 14 year old girl- unless YOU are a 14 year old girl yourself, in which case steer clear of the Men's Shed )...

The people you greet with "Hi," and follow up with "How are you?" but never anything more, like your workmate/football teammate's children, are not the sort of people who need to be "friends" on social networking sites, simply because, they are not your friends...

And like Heater mentioned ^^ up there somewhere, some of his stuff isn't suitable... but is likely everyday banter for his real life (tm) friends...

PS: Whilst typing this post, I alt-tabbed between safooty.net and my facebook page three times...

Pseudo wrote:In Real Life (tm) you'll never befriend a 14 year old girl and later find out that she's actually a hairy overweight forty-something bloke...

only difference here is that I know the girl exists as I see her most weekdays......


still haven't confirmed or denied the request yet. Another male work colleague a tad younger than me has accepted but that is just his nature. He probably hasn't thought of the same consequences as me.

Also in defence of Facebook it's saved me a fortune in landline phone calls as I have family in Ireland, godchild in Qld and friends in South Africa, Cyprus, NZ, South Australia...imagine how much calls to them for a chat would cost.

I'm also back in touch with old workmates/comrades I'd lost touch with over the years. I only ever add people I know...if you add complete strangers you probably deserve what you get.

BUT in heater31's case, which is the topic, it's not a stranger so the "hairy overweight forty-something bloke" doesn't really apply.

Regards
JAS

If you decide to "run the gauntlet" heater, at least you can accept her, and hit that ever-tempting delete button if it becomes an issue.

Pseudo wrote:What to do?

Log off, turn off your computer, get off your bum, venture out of the house and form some meaningful social relationships with Real People.

In Real Life (tm) you'll never befriend a 14 year old girl and later find out that she's actually a hairy overweight forty-something bloke...

LOL Pseudo that is hilarious!

ignore, ignore, ignore

heater31 wrote:

Pseudo wrote:In Real Life (tm) you'll never befriend a 14 year old girl and later find out that she's actually a hairy overweight forty-something bloke...

only difference here is that I know the girl exists as I see her most weekdays......


still haven't confirmed or denied the request yet. Another male work colleague a tad younger than me has accepted but that is just his nature. He probably hasn't thought of the same consequences as me.

I have got the same scenario mate
older bloke from the footy clubs daughter added me, and also some other of the lads that play there
were all in the 20-22 age bracket, she would be 15 or 16.
If you say hello to her on most days and speak with her, then i would add her.
I wouldnt worry about what ya write on there, im sure she has seen worse stuff on her friends wall.
Hell some of the status updates this girl has made, all be it someone else may have done them or were a joke, would have been as bad as some of my stupid status'.

like others have implied.. unless you plan on doin the dirk nasty with her.. whats the problem?

maybe add some of her friends n do it with them, then you will feel less guilty?

Be very wary of Facebook friendships.

I guarantee it won't be around much longer.

An uncensored, public forum without anonymity.

Imagine the basement dwellers out there trawling through other peoples info & photos.

If someone walked into my house who I only 'kinda' knew & was my facebook friend would not be allowed to go through my phone messages and photo albums.

Think about it...
Facebook is an evil tool and if you have more than 100 friends you're kidding yourself.

i dont have facebook or anything so doesnt bother me.
but girl at work just e-stalks ppl all day
spends all day lookin at everyones facebook photos wether she knows them or not....creepy

As long as the mother is aware, you can accept her but put her on limited access I think. She still adds to her friend list (and it's all about numbers for kids) and you avoid the awkwardness when she comes in everyday.

Then, in about a month, you can quietly delete her and she won't even know