Oh dear. I am so very excited about this new development, and I would really love to write something, RIGHT NOW, that is a benchmark of literary wittiness and humour and stuff, but the thing is, I have just learnt how to use my breast pump, thus making it very easy for me to express milk, thus ALSO making it very easy for me to be able to have a few drinks, which is what I am doing right now, and because the bottle-o has Cooper's Sparkling Ale for a cheaper price than the Pale Ale, and because I am skolling down the tail-end of one right now, it means that I will probably be writing nothing less than a steaming lump of festively tipsy drivel.
So, bollocks to YOU, Liquor Lads, this is clearly all your fault. (Especially you, redheaded guy who works there and once asked me 'So what are YOU doing tonight?' in a suggestive tone, which must not have struck the right note because I subsequently cacked myself laughing and made his face go red too. Serves him right for having a goatee like Shannon Noll. I have very little sympathy for people that have goatees like Shannon Noll.)
I do not know exactly what to write about so in the meantime I'll write about what I am doing right now, which is watching The Footy Show. I once wrote a rather acerbic letter to Sam Newman when I was in high school. It was published in the now defunct Footy Show Magazine, and Sam replied that he liked people who didn't mince their words, but that nevertheless I was a moronic glob of spittle. It earned me a brief fan-following at high school, which was a nice change from being known as 'the short chick with big tits'.
They've just shown the North Melbourne side - I hope they're not going to wear that vile powder-blue uniform again, I reckon that's been responsible for several of their losses. When they're wearing the powder-blue with their socks pulled up they look like that Tash chick from Neighbours. Sturt in the SANFL aren't much better with their white socks - looks like they're wearing cowboy boots! If my other half had had to wear them when he played for Sturt I would be finding his team photo and pointing at it and laughing every time we had an argument, because then I would win.
One cannot possibly retain one's dignity when one is a bloke wearing white cowboy boots.
Anyway, I will finish this off now because I am getting to the stage where I can't type properly. I do hope I'll be able to live up to whatever it is that's got me this thread in the first place. I love to write and especially I love it when people enjoy what I write, even if it is bollocks.
Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:31 pm
