SA Footy

On the back of Bum Crack's post this morning relating to being abused and subsequently lobbing rocks onto some ferals roof and continuing that for the rest of the week..... it made me think...

What things have we done in the heat of the moment that you can now look back on and laugh..

Early in the days when we moved into our new house, my front lawn was manicured couch and I was proud of it. Cutting it weekly and hand clipping the edges etc. A guy 2 houses up and across the road had 2 shihtzus that would get let out to crap every morning. They religiously made their way down the street, crossed the road and crapped on my lawn every day. I asked the guy a few times if he'd stop his dogs crapping on my lawn and nothing ever changed. I even flicked the turds back up the street towards his house while he was out the front.... still nothing... So I conjured up 2 solutions. The first would be to let my 2 40 kilo dogs sit out the front and eat the shihtzus when they came down, but that would have been too messy. So I decided on the second option.

Over a period of a month or so I collected the shih from the shihtzus and stored it in a bucket. When said bucket was full, I waited till the guy was out the front gardening and I walked up and deposited a bucket load of dog shit in the middle of his driveway.... Childish I know but even now, 10 years later I still don't get a wave as he drives past my house.... But no more shih on my lawn !!!!

Choccies wrote:On the back of Bum Crack's post this morning relating to being abused and subsequently lobbing rocks onto some ferals roof and continuing that for the rest of the week..... it made me think...

What things have we done in the heat of the moment that you can now look back on and laugh..

Early in the days when we moved into our new house, my front lawn was manicured couch and I was proud of it. Cutting it weekly and hand clipping the edges etc. A guy 2 houses up and across the road had 2 shihtzus that would get let out to crap every morning. They religiously made their way down the street, crossed the road and crapped on my lawn every day. I asked the guy a few times if he'd stop his dogs crapping on my lawn and nothing ever changed. I even flicked the turds back up the street towards his house while he was out the front.... still nothing... So I conjured up 2 solutions. The first would be to let my 2 40 kilo dogs sit out the front and eat the shihtzus when they came down, but that would have been too messy. So I decided on the second option.

Over a period of a month or so I collected the shih from the shihtzus and stored it in a bucket. When said bucket was full, I waited till the guy was out the front gardening and I walked up and deposited a bucket load of dog **** in the middle of his driveway.... Childish I know but even now, 10 years later I still don't get a wave as he drives past my house.... But no more shih on my lawn !!!!

CLASSIC!

Brilliant work Choccies

A few mates & I were constantly getting peeved at 1 "mate" who would never bring ANY drinks to a party, whether it be soft or acoholic.
It got so bad that we were all hiding our own stash, just so he could not steal ours. During one party, one of us had had enough, so we all urinated in some stubbies, replaced the screw top caps, put them on ice in an esky we all knew not to touch & stood back waiting for a laugh.
This bloke did not bat an eyelid, only bringing up he was a bit "crook" the next morning when we saw him again.
I thought after that, well maybe he deserves a couple of free beers after that effort.

Made me think of a couple more.... both during my 'part time' job at the bakery...

1. Delivering cakes and pies to a bakery at Welland I often encountered the 'driver' (term used loosely) from a local Vietnamese bakery. He used to park right next to me in the entrance and as I was unloading some 20 odd trays I used to park right up by the automatic doors at 6am. This little bastard used to park so close while I was inside that I had to climb in thru the passenger door to get back in the van. Again, after repeated requests he continued. So the following week when he did it again I smashed a couple of fresh cream kitchener buns on his front window and painted it for him......

2. Delivered a tray of 24 chocolate donuts to a Vietnamese run bakery in Prospect who we had had many run ins with in the past. A few hours later the boss rang me to say the dude thought the donuts were stale and wanted 24 more. So I trudged back to the bakery, got 24 more and took them there. Upon arrival he happily took the donuts and started loading his shelves. I asked him for the 24 'stale' ones back. After his head stopped spinning, and he was resigned to not being able to actually sell them like he was still going to I collected about 18 or so back from him reluctantly. I then placed the tray on the floor and proceeded to stomp them flat with my feet. I then hopped out of the tray and walked out of his bakery leaving chocolate footprints out the door....

I was waiting patiently at a servo once for someone to finish filling their van up with diesel as I had to fill the company ute up. Meanwhile an old couple had pulled up in a 4WD that they were going to buy, a car salesman had parked in the carpark. As I went to go forward and get into position to begin filling the ute, the rep ran across and grabbed the hose from the bowser and called the old couple around to the other side of the bowser.
I got out of the ute and ran over to him began remonstrating that it was my turn first, he just said "Na mate, these guys have been waiting ages".
I then began to wrestle the nozzle out of his hands as I was not going to wait for him, I managed to point it in his direction warning him that if he didn't let go I was going to douse him with diesel. He didn't believe me and kept up his struggle, I squeezed the nozzle and sure enough diesel came flourishing out all over his white shirt............he then let me proceed to fill up the ute.
While I was filling up the old guy came over and said "Typical car salesman, I wont be buying this car now".
The attendant only caught the last bit and was cracking up, he had seen the dude go there before and do the same thing. I was crapping myself for the rest of the day expecting a phone call to my boss or a visit from the police.
Sometimes my anger gets the better of me.

a few of us were out at Regency having a round and my best mate stepped up last after three of us had just driven 200-220m up the fairway. long story short by the time we reached our ball he had had about 12 shots, seen the trees on the left, the 2 bunkers and the fence on the right. he had also lost 4 clubs, had put a few extra divots in the ground and a sore foot from kicking a tree and once we reached our balls they were buried in the ground by his heels. he then went home after that hole.

very very funny but we had to contain ourselves as he was very heated...

As young kids we were kicking the footy in our mates cul de sac, he had one neighbour who would wait at the screen door and yell at us as soon as the ball landed on his front lawn.

After a typical MatteeG shank the footy nestled nicely half way up the aforementioned neighbour's lawn. My mate has tiptoed up to the footy, with no remonstration...a moment of cockiness and he layed a boot into it off the ground- off the side of the boot and into a rose bush before bouncing out on the road. The old fella came screaming out of the house literally baying for blood, as we legged it back inside my mates house.

The rant didnt end there, rather he continued up the drive stamping on any plant he could get a leg over- "Lets see how you like it!". He stamped around for a good 5 minutes before he trudged back to his place.

I'd never seen my mate so angry... The F$%k is gonna pay he kept saying to me.

Anyway, as night fell the plan came into place. Syringe- check (Cheers science class). Round up- check. We wandered over to grumpy's lawn, he had a manicured bush right in the centre of the lawn. A few jabs in the trunk, a few on the larger branches...the job was done in probably 2 minutes.

Results werent instant, but over the course of the next few weeks the bush went from a lush green, to an off yellow, finally to a dusty brown.. despite him apparently manically watering/fertilising....whilst we dont know if he realised it was us, he never barked at kids in the court again...

I got stitched up by a mate once, when he put a dead carp under the front seat of my car just before I went on holidays. Came back two weeks later and it was absolutely rotten. couldn't drive my car for over a week because of the smell. Anyhow, I ended up getting on a homosexual website and did up a profile for this bloke saying he was looking for a mature aged man to settle down with etc and put his mobile phone number on there. He got that many phone calls that he begged me to take the ad down. He has never played any more pranks on me again.