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Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:08 amby therisingblues
My apologies if this has been discussed before.
I used to be a hard member of the drop 'em sit and shit crowd.
That was until the day it came up in conversation with Mrs Therisingblues who steadfastly subscribes to taking an alcoholic wipe to any new surface that is going to come into contact with her buttocks. I thought maybe there was something in what she said, so the next time I found myself with a full ass in a public place I thought twice about recklessly releasing my cargo while perched on an uncleansed bum supporter. Eyeing the "U" shaped bit of plastic before I took to the throne it looked harmless enough. Sort of a creamy colour. But the words of Mrs Therisingblues came echoing through my head like a Wonder Years soliloquee (that's disgusting!) so as an afterthought I decided to run a bit of toilet paper under the tap and giving the seat a quick once over.
I couldn't believe it! The once cream coloured seat was actually white! And the once white toilet paper became yellow! That was a pee soaked seat I was about to sit on.
The experience changed me.
Next time I was in a respectable shopping mall, the sort with the toilets that have the little jets installed which at a push of a button squirt a high powered stream of water up your clacker to get to those hard to reach places that fat bastards like myself have a knack of leaving.
Surely such a place would have clean toilet seats?
First inspection revealed nothing more than a white seat with a couple of black spots that the painter obviously missed. But no. After using the supplied medicated spray on a couple of sheets of paper I discovered that the black spots mysteriously disappeared, and became nothing more than brown smears on the sheet of paper I had rubbed them off with.
Brown smears!
That was someone else's shit I had just about satted on!
I wonder how many droplets of turds and loose sprays I have sat on in my years. The thought horrifies me.
I clean the seat every time now.
But the question is: what do you do?
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:12 amby Punk Rooster
The Rising Blues aka Jerry Seinfeld...
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:23 amby heater31
refuse to deposit in public amenities draw the line at urinating and I don't have this problem
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:53 amby Zorro
usually like to wipe the seat with toilet paper but often there isn't a square to spare.......
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:56 amby CK
Imagine if Niles Crane (Frasier's brother) was reading this thread
(fans of the show will remember his visits to Cafe Nervosa)
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:06 amby Booney
1 - You wipe the seat with said item ( wipe / paper ) do you then wash your hands before making your deposit? If not, why not?
2 - You managed to survive all these years by not wiping the seat.
3 - You can always "hover".
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:44 amby Footy Chick
heater31 wrote:refuse to deposit in public amenities draw the line at urinating and I don't have this problem
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:51 amby Jimmy_041
Thank our lucky stars we are men so that the more frequent no 1 is not affected by this problem
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:17 amby mick
White seats should be mandatory in public toilets, a black or dark coloured seat can hide a multitude of "sins". From a disease point of view, so long as the skin on your buttocks is unbroken the disease potential is pretty low, unbroken skin is a pretty good barrier. You are more likely to get faecal contamination likely to cause disease on your hands from door knobs etc because it has a greater potential to transfer to your mouth. It is hard to imagine how the skin on your arse can readily contact the mouth unless you are a contortionist
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:20 amby Gingernuts
mick wrote:White seats should be mandatory in public toilets, a black or dark coloured seat can hide a multitude of "sins". From a disease point of view, so long as the skin on your buttocks is unbroken the disease potential is pretty low, unbroken skin is a pretty good barrier. You are more likely to get faecal contamination likely to cause disease on your hands from door knobs etc because it has a greater potential to transfer to your mouth. It is hard to imagine how the skin on your arse can readily contact the mouth unless you are a contortionist
I like how the toilets in most new shopping centres now have no doors, just a 'dog leg' to ensure privacy. Means that once you've washed your hands after the business, they stay clean.
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:33 amby Pseudo
therisingblues wrote:... Mrs Therisingblues who steadfastly subscribes to taking an alcoholic wipe to any new surface that is going to come into contact with her buttocks.
You must have an ...
interesting sex life
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:39 amby Bum Crack
mick wrote:White seats should be mandatory in public toilets, a black or dark coloured seat can hide a multitude of "sins". From a disease point of view, so long as the skin on your buttocks is unbroken the disease potential is pretty low, unbroken skin is a pretty good barrier. You are more likely to get faecal contamination likely to cause disease on your hands from door knobs etc because it has a greater potential to transfer to your mouth. It is hard to imagine how the skin on your arse can readily contact the mouth unless you are a contortionist
Or you love growling the missus from behind.
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:51 amby Baron Greenback
Bum Crack wrote:mick wrote:White seats should be mandatory in public toilets, a black or dark coloured seat can hide a multitude of "sins". From a disease point of view, so long as the skin on your buttocks is unbroken the disease potential is pretty low, unbroken skin is a pretty good barrier. You are more likely to get faecal contamination likely to cause disease on your hands from door knobs etc because it has a greater potential to transfer to your mouth. It is hard to imagine how the skin on your arse can readily contact the mouth unless you are a contortionist
Or you love growling the missus from behind.
BWAHAHAHA! Sensational call BC!
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:53 amby mick
Bum Crack wrote:mick wrote:White seats should be mandatory in public toilets, a black or dark coloured seat can hide a multitude of "sins". From a disease point of view, so long as the skin on your buttocks is unbroken the disease potential is pretty low, unbroken skin is a pretty good barrier. You are more likely to get faecal contamination likely to cause disease on your hands from door knobs etc because it has a greater potential to transfer to your mouth. It is hard to imagine how the skin on your arse can readily contact the mouth unless you are a contortionist
Or you love growling the missus from behind.
I did think of that but was too polite to mention it
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:59 amby Bum Crack
mick wrote:Bum Crack wrote:mick wrote:White seats should be mandatory in public toilets, a black or dark coloured seat can hide a multitude of "sins". From a disease point of view, so long as the skin on your buttocks is unbroken the disease potential is pretty low, unbroken skin is a pretty good barrier. You are more likely to get faecal contamination likely to cause disease on your hands from door knobs etc because it has a greater potential to transfer to your mouth. It is hard to imagine how the skin on your arse can readily contact the mouth unless you are a contortionist
Or you love growling the missus from behind.
I did think of that but was too polite to mention it
No point holding back big fella.
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:58 amby Choccies
Bum Crack wrote:mick wrote:White seats should be mandatory in public toilets, a black or dark coloured seat can hide a multitude of "sins". From a disease point of view, so long as the skin on your buttocks is unbroken the disease potential is pretty low, unbroken skin is a pretty good barrier. You are more likely to get faecal contamination likely to cause disease on your hands from door knobs etc because it has a greater potential to transfer to your mouth. It is hard to imagine how the skin on your arse can readily contact the mouth unless you are a contortionist
Or you love growling the missus from behind.
Golden comment of the day by a country mile !!
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:32 pmby Dogwatcher
Stiffler!
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:33 pmby Dogwatcher
Booney wrote:1 - You wipe the seat with said item ( wipe / paper ) do you then wash your hands before making your deposit? If not, why not?
The exact question I was going to ask.
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:17 pmby Wedgie
lol, the growl comment is so innapropriate for this forum and probably breaks a tonne of rules but its oh so funny!
Re: Toilet Seats
Posted:
Wed Oct 28, 2009 6:29 pmby bayman
avoid them at all costs apart from urinating & even then i hold my breath