Beaches

[Punk Rooster]

Ok, nothing to do with the lame feel-good (read sickeningly warm fuzzy) movie of the same name, but almost at the opposite end of the spectrum- crabbing at Thompson's Beach, as a part of out pre-season training. Now, as it was up to me to arrange, I spent a good part of last week asking everyone from the Commodore of the Australian Navy, down to a bloke who was eating fish sticks at the local fish & chip shop, whether the tides/conditions would be ideal for raking. Given the thumbs up, I told all & sundry that we needed to be out i the water by about 9, 9:30 am at the latest. Preparation, I told them, was a key ingredient to a successful days crabbing.
Sat night 9:30, a mate says "such & such from Melbourne are playing at the Crown", so I thought surely it won't hurt to pop in for a few schooners, be home just after midnight, get a decent sleep etc... Well, a few schooners turned into 20, I was last seen fertilizing the rose bush out the front of my place at about 4am. Took 20 minutes to set my alarm, next thing someones banging on my front door- surely it's not 7:30 yet? It is & after me stumbling around to find my crabbing gear- which has the same fashion sense as a golfer, we set off.
After being sledged for stinking out the car, reaking of booze, we called in & got our tubs & rakes. I stayed in the car, being a whiter shade of pale, only getting out at Caltex Bolivar, for 2 cans of Red Bull & a lamb shaslick. It took me the best part of the trip to get the shaslick down, but the RB's got me fired up again.
We arrived at the beach (which I saw the best part of 15 years ago)- I'm pretty sure there was no housing development back then, definately no electricity. Setting out in the slush, complimenting myself for being able to "back up" after a night on the tiles, I thought I'd head "right out". While one group virtually raked the sand where we parked the cars, my group set off for Western Australia. In my wisdom (heh heh heh), I volunteered to "lug" the tub, with the outgoing high tide. If I did anythiing right for the day, it was- wearing a hat, longsleeve t-shirt (an old "Cannibal Corpse" top), & sunscreen to anything not covered, & my 3 litre bottle of water.
Getting out to the channell, I'd come across about 30 crabs, for the result of 1 in the tub- catching them was more difficult than I remember. I thought the idea was I rake the sand, hit the crab, they grab the rake & release hold once their over the tub. Oblivious to these rules, the crabs were using the outgoing tide/my muddying up the water, to make good their escape.
Once the Red Bulls wore off, I started struggling. All of a suddden, sleeping under the cars while everyone else raked seemed a good proposition. Only trouble was, I was at least 1 km out. So I battled on, my blokes were getting a few, I was happy to run around with the tub, collecting their catch.
It was getting on, so I suggested we turn in, & made mention that perhaps it was someone elses turn to have a go with the tub. Found a sucker, I mean volunteer, & we set sail for home. Now I managed to head back through this sludge, where every step was an effort, in some cases, going knee deep. All of a sudden, this 1 km was going to be equal to 10. After stopping every 5 minutes, & cursing the moment I ever decided crabbing was fun, I found some hard ground- I nearly cried with delight. The tide was running out at a rate of knotts, when I got cramp in my thighs. I found a shallow point to sit & get relief. It would be ok, I'd get up, & it would cramp up again. I decided to take my shoes off, & lose 5kg worth of grit. It was bliss, sitting there cramp free, when I noticed I had 1 shoe- the other was 50m away. Right, go get shoe, get back to where I was, cramp again. As I cramp up, I noticed my water bottle floating away. After much sobbing & soul searching, I chased that down too. I'd done all this work, yet was no closer to home. Watching the guys struggle with the tub through the slush was the only thing that kept me going- I thought I heard them cursing me, but suely, I was mistaken.
Anyway, got back to the car, the other group had pissed of to the Dublin Hotel with our car keys, so we sat there waiting for them to realise. One of us hitched a ride with some canadians, we ended up at the pub, so all was well- apart from the fact the grill was "off" so I could only have a schnitzel.
I am now very ill, probably with pneumonia, & don't think I'll even drive past a beach for the next 6 months.

[duncs7]

[MW]

I have not read such boring dribble since Booneys day at the golf...

[Booney]

I have not read such boring dribble since Booneys day at the golf...

On behalf of Punky and myself,it appears as though your life involves bagging that of others,so my advice would be, boring or not,GET YOURSELF A LIFE!

[MW]

You watching my every post champ? STALKER!!

[Booney]

You watching my every post champ? STALKER!!

They are so enthralling I cant wait for the next instalment.

[MW]

You watching my every post champ? STALKER!!

They are so enthralling I cant wait for the next instalment.

Great, I have a stalker....

[Rik E Boy]

You watching my every post champ? STALKER!!

They are so enthralling I cant wait for the next instalment.

Great, I have a stalker....

Of course you do! When Booney gets rid of the last West fan we can have an eight team comp. Sharpen those knives Booney!!

regards,

REB

[Booney]

LMAO,a few of the Westies lads who are playing cricket with us REB go alright.

Hopefully when they win the toss they decide to bat first,might be the only way they win a game this year.

[JK]

LMAO Nice work Punky ... Might pay to put a warning on ur next thread heading so all the boring folk can whinge elsewhere

[MW]

You watching my every post champ? STALKER!!

They are so enthralling I cant wait for the next instalment.

Great, I have a stalker....

Of course you do! When Booney gets rid of the last West fan we can have an eight team comp. Sharpen those knives Booney!!

regards,

REB

"Get rid of" hey?

[Rik E Boy]

Of course not MW! That's why I threw one of these in.

Cheers,

REB

[MUNGO JERRY]

I have not read such boring dribble since Booneys day at the golf...

On behalf of Punky and myself,it appears as though your life involves bagging that of others,so my advice would be, boring or not,GET YOURSELF A LIFE!

Hey Booney, perhaps you and Punky can calaborate a story together and send the whole world to sleep!

[stan]

Beaches are only good after that huge night out when you and some chick end up screwing on it.

[Punk Rooster]

Beaches are only good after that huge night out when you and some chick end up screwing on it.

Amen to that.

[Punk Rooster]

I have not read such boring dribble since Booneys day at the golf...

On behalf of Punky and myself,it appears as though your life involves bagging that of others,so my advice would be, boring or not,GET YOURSELF A LIFE!

Hey Booney, perhaps you and Punky can calaborate a story together and send the whole world to sleep!

Hey, Mango Cherry, perhaps you & MW should get a room....

[MUNGO JERRY]

I have not read such boring dribble since Booneys day at the golf...

On behalf of Punky and myself,it appears as though your life involves bagging that of others,so my advice would be, boring or not,GET YOURSELF A LIFE!

Hey Booney, perhaps you and Punky can calaborate a story together and send the whole world to sleep!

Hey, Mango Cherry, perhaps you & MW should get a room....

Well hopefully it will have a bed in it 'ponky' cos your inducing me into a coma......I havent been so bored since listening to Bucks Fizz records about 20 years ago.

[JK]

lol Dont start on Bucks Fizz, they're next to Kenny on the Boon shelf of immortal music!

[Jimmy]

punky, let me know the next time you take a shit or a piss

[Coorong]

Hell no Jimmy, imagine how descrptive that would be..............

Enjoy your stories Punky. Often takes me back to my youth.