Things that give you the sh1ts

[another grub]

ON Fox News?

[Snaggletooth Tiger]

ON Fox News?

Mate, even the Yanks don't take that blatantly partisan (Fair & Balanced my Ass)
FOXNEWS Republican propaganda Channel seriously!
Fair dinkum, I would love to smack that lying tosa Bill O'Reilly right in the throat!

[bickle]

Those bloody buses that park in the Clearway with their hazard lights on in the morning & the afternoon on Bridge Road at Para Hills West & Para Hills. DICKHEADS! IT'S A CLEARWAY! YOU ARE A TRAFFIC HAZARD!

bloody oath, everyday on my way back from work, theres a bus parked with its hazard lights on, probably cause he was running early.
what makes it worse is i go to work on a motor bike and everyone goes into the right lane without noticing me or any other bikes and even cars.

[Dogwatcher]

when you have an itchy arse crack and your jeans won't let you scratch it!

drunk kids who don't listen to your advice when their mate is clearly on the verge of dying.

[CENTURION]

When you crap yourself...but you're not wearing any jocks

[Dogwatcher]

reminds me of a pub crawl I once went on. lol

[CENTURION]

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO BINGO!

[Dutchy]

ON Fox News?

No.... http://www.nbl.com.au promote their "live" scorboard but it freezes and just doesnt work most of the time!

[another grub]

not being able to get it up.....

[overloaded]

you need to reply to one of the viagra junk-mails AG

[locky801]

Federal elections and all the crap that goes with it

[Psyber]

Federal elections and all the crap that goes with it

General Musharref has a solution for you there!
Let us hope neither Johnny nor Kev play "Me too" with that one....

[Mr66]

The supposedly "live" NBL scoreboard

The Dragons/Hawks final score wasn't posted until 4&1/2 hours after it
had finished.

[rsemmler]

Horses dying for no reason...

SILENCE fell over Flemington racecourse today after an accident ended with Bay Story being put down on the main straight.

The horse collided with Bling Blingabout 140m from the finish line, sending both animals crashing through the barriers.

Bling Bling lay motionless on the track, but Bay Story tragically staggered on towards the line with its crushed left hind leg sagging underneath.

Many punters couldn't watch, while others wept as the drama unfolded.

[locky801]

On the race theme, leading with about 200 to go in the cup with a packet on the nose only to see the horse for some unexplained reason move towards the barrier and get overtaken. There goes the holiday

[TroyGFC]

on the cup theme: a sure bet..... no such luck 4 me!!!

[overloaded]

once a year melbourne cup punters

[heater31]

once a year melbourne cup punters

they ones that back the winner


Using up all your luck on the punt on Saturday

[The Real Number 3]

Now this is a hard luck story.... thanks to *******aka Dutchy aka Carey...

I rang this pleasant chap about 130 pm today asking if he could put $30 on Zipping and $20 on The Fuzz for me...

10 Mins later I get a msg saying the Fuzz has been scratched, so i think hmmm who shall i back..... i check the paper and Efficient is paying $18, so i txt Dutchy back saying Efficient for $20 thanks mate.

I then proceed to listen to The Great Race on the radio and am delighted when the Announcer says Efficient has won! I txt Dutchy saying You **** Ripper!

I tell a few mates at work and get a few high 5's..... Then a msg comes through.....

"SORRY MATE, LINEUP WAS TOO BIG AND I WAS TALKING TO PEOPLE.... BUT I PUT YOUR $30 ON ZIPPING"

All that emotion from winning down the drain........ Checked out what Efficient was paying...... $24..... $20x$24= $480......... THAT I DONT BLOODY HAVE!

I get to the pub after work at 4pm.... Dutchy then asks me.... wanna beer mate?

20 mins later he then proceeds to ask me for the bloody $30 for the bet on Zipping!

Edited by Booney

[BJ Ernest]

OUCH!