Things that make you laugh

[valleys07]

Apparently this is the biggest power outage since the 07 GF

Haha. I'll pay that.

[RustyCage]

[stampy]

ladbrokes odds boost

[Spargo]

ladbrokes odds boost

No good?

[HH3]

If you guys haven't got on board The Batoota Advocate, I highly recommend it. Its a satirical newspaper.

Here's a couple of articles to wet your whistle....

Racially Ambiguous Bloke Gets Thrills From Dropping N-Bomb In Gentrified Suburbs

http://www.betootaadvocate.com/advocate ... d-suburbs/

A man of dark complexion has been dropping the ‘n-bomb’ in predominantly white hipster areas, with the full intention of making people question how black he is, it has been confirmed.

The man, Dominic Rowe (26) has been colloquially referring to baristas, bar tenders and his own friends as ‘nigga’ – a word he feels completely comfortable using as a black man.

However, with mixed ancestry, Dominic realises some people might not immediately identify his ethnic make up – and he has been enjoying testing their political correctness.

Local cafe-dweller Wendy Quilty, says she “just doesn’t..”

“I mean…”

“Can he…”

“Never mind”

According to the white lefties in his rapidly gentrifying home town, Dominic is black enough to get away with doing a high-five and bringing it in, but also white enough to be asked if he enjoys rugby union.

“I don’t really like adhering to their racial stereotypes” he said.

“So, I’ve just been going full bore with the N-bombs,”

“Who’s going to stop me? There’s no other black guys in this area anymore, no ones going to pull me up on the context. I’m just making these hipsters sweat it out.”

Man, 45, In Stable Condition After Midlife Crisis Lands Him In Hospital

http://www.betootaadvocate.com/breaking ... -hospital/

A local father of three is in hospital today with two broken fingers, a fracturing a hip and a severe concussion after a midlife crisis left him for dead on a suburban embankment.

Andrew Loughton (45) was found by a bushwalker, head-to-toe in lycra at around 8:00am this morning.

“He looked like he had been trying to fill a void left in his life after having a family” said the bushwalker, Dave.

“I knew once I saw him face down, covered in grazes and lycra, that this was a result of a transition of identity and self-confidence,”

“That and the looming mortality that men struggle with in their mid-to-late forties,”

Loughton’s brand new Cannondale bike was also found at the scene, several metres away and on the other side of a guard rail.

A paramedic on the scene described what he saw as a first respondent.

“It was a very unfortunate sight,” he said.

“We found a man who’s wife hasn’t let him go to the pub in three years,”

“It’s hard to tell this early but I would say it’s safe to assume that he only has daughters… With one that is approaching puberty and can basically only communicate through passive sarcasm.”

It is reported that Loughton is currently on the mend at the Betoota Royal Hospital, with his wife already sending him text messages explaining why this whole bicycle thing was a ******* stupid idea from the start.

[bennymacca]

lol

[Booney]

Trump.

[HH3]

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[stampy]

ladbrokes odds boost

No good?

um no, unless you are happy with a boost from 3.60 to 3.80

[Lightning McQueen]

Driving down Heaslip Road last night and there's a car sitting right up my clacker, we get to the Womma Road roundabout and he picked the faster car to follow around it and squeezed in front of me to go across the bridge.
He turns right at the next roundabout to get on the expressway and I thought to myself "yep, you can be my decoy", he takes off like a shower of shit and leaves me for dead despite me sitting on about 118, get around the bend and "boom"there's a set of flashing lights take off after him and pulls him over.
Lesson learnt for me, it's easy to get sucked in on that stretch.

[HH3]

Sometimes I hope to see f**kwits on their roof when I round the bend.

(Not really, but they need a wake up call)

[Lightning McQueen]

Sometimes I hope to see f**kwits on their roof when I round the bend.

(Not really, but they need a wake up call)

I know what you mean, I was sitting on high 90's in a 90 zone and he was right up my arse, he must've got done doing over 135.

[HH3]

Me and the Mrs alternate cars every day because we have a single car width driveway, so every two days Im driving a Fiesta with a flamingo sticker on the back window.

The amount of people that try to bully me is ridiculous. They back off a little bit once they see the manly beard though.

This morning I had a Reliable Energy truck right on my arsehole all the way up Victoria Rd. Every single morning, I get tailgated. Then they get to the right turn towards Birkenhead Bridge and get stuck 10 vehicles deep in the turning lane, while I beep beep past onto the expressway. Bit of a head scratcher.

People need to chill the f**k out.

[Lightning McQueen]

Ha, I have a black corolla which had a pink "Missy" sticker on it when I bought it, my kids got annoyed with me for keeping it on there and took it off.

I endure the same thing, I get tailgated, flashed and partially abused until I press the heavily tinted window down, hang half out the car and yell "What the f*ck is your problem". I usually get a little courtesy wave after that and order is restored.

I used to be a hot head but have learnt to curb my ways a fair bit, if I do happen to fire up I usually cop "You can take the boy out of Smithfield but you can't take the Smithfield out of the boy".

[mighty_tiger_79]

I thought all the boys in Smithfield now reside in Yatala

[Lightning McQueen]

Yeah, I let the team down.

[PatowalongaPirate]

Me and the Mrs alternate cars every day because we have a single car width driveway, so every two days Im driving a Fiesta with a flamingo sticker on the back window.

The amount of people that try to bully me is ridiculous. They back off a little bit once they see the manly beard though.

This morning I had a Reliable Energy truck right on my arsehole all the way up Victoria Rd. Every single morning, I get tailgated. Then they get to the right turn towards Birkenhead Bridge and get stuck 10 vehicles deep in the turning lane, while I beep beep past onto the expressway. Bit of a head scratcher.

People need to chill the f**k out.

What type of car does your missus own?

[HH3]

Me and the Mrs alternate cars every day because we have a single car width driveway, so every two days Im driving a Fiesta with a flamingo sticker on the back window.

The amount of people that try to bully me is ridiculous. They back off a little bit once they see the manly beard though.

This morning I had a Reliable Energy truck right on my arsehole all the way up Victoria Rd. Every single morning, I get tailgated. Then they get to the right turn towards Birkenhead Bridge and get stuck 10 vehicles deep in the turning lane, while I beep beep past onto the expressway. Bit of a head scratcher.

People need to chill the f**k out.

What type of car does your missus own?

yagotme.png (115.48 KiB) Viewed 586 times

[Lightning McQueen]

Driving down Main North Road some time ago I seen this F150 with a canopy cruising along and I seen a sticker on the back that read "My other toy has a dick".
I had a chuckle to myself and thought I'd take a glance over when we pulled over at the lights only to see this huge scruffy haired haggis that had about 3 teeth and would've made Mick Taylor shit himself, it was a golden moment in driving.

[mighty_tiger_79]

False advertising....lol