by spell_check » Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:43 pm
Do some searching on The Bladder and you uncover* some more gems:
Welcome to Other People's Bladder
AFL
A New Team in Town
By Rik E Boy
Thursday, 1 April 2004
NEW TEAM IN TOWN*
Blah blah at Alberton; it sounds so familiar
Great expectations, but the fans they aint watching you
They vote with their feet, gone to watch you know who
Even your old friends have gone off to the zoo
Johnny come latelys, the new team in town
Everybody loved you, but the’ve gone to ground
A final at AAMI; the game begins to play
Hopeless in September, here we go again
After a while, you’re looking back to a happier day
It’s those Magpie farts that never mend
Johnny come latelys, the new team in town
Will they still pay you when you share their ground
There’s so many things you shouldn’t have sold them
But fight after fight you’re willing to claim em
Just claim them The AFL’s just tamed them
Payouts at the ground, it’s there to remind you
Doesn’t really matter which side they’re on
You’re walking away and their laughing behind you
They will never forget you unless you can win a Vic flag
Where you been lately? There’s a new team in town
Everybody loves them, no tradition down
But we’ve won the flags, while the Power still sags
Oh my my
There’s a new team in town
Ooh, hoo
Everybody’s talking bout the new team in town
Ooh, hoo
Everybody’s laughing at the new team in town
There’s a new team in town
There’s a new team in town
I don’t want to see em
There’s a new team in town
Magpies in a museum
There’s a new team in town
There’s a new team in town
There’s a new team in town
Regards,
REB
*apologies to the Eagles
Welcome to Other People's Bladder
CRICKET
I Don't Like Murali
By Rik E Boy
Thursday, 11 March 2004
To the tune of 'I don't like Mondays' apologies to The Boomtown Rats.
I Don’t Like Murali
The track at Galle got inside our heads
It looked like a dusty road
And nobody wants to bat all day
Why can’t they doctor tracks at home?
And Johnny doesn’t understand it
It’s just not like the green and gold
Cos it’s been a shit season
A real non-season
And what would today’s reason be (moan)
Tell me why
I don’t like Murali
Tell me why
I don’t like Murali
Tell me why
I don’t like Murali
He’s gonna shoot (shoooot)
The whole side down
The Cricinfo machine is tough and mean
it types of gnomes to a waiting world
Alfie’s mother wasn’t shocked
When JL blocked
As Slat’s mum’s thoughts turn to
Her own little girl
Out for 16 in to the nightclub scene
Ball moved off the seam now he’s off the team
Cos it’s been a shit season
A real non-season
And what would today’s reason be (moan)
Tell me why
I don’t like Murali
Tell me why
I don’t like Murali
Tell me why
I don’t like Murali
He’s gonna shoot (shoooot)
The whole side down
All the Aussies are out at the test ground now
The chucker’s got his scalps the dirty rat
And the team’s out early and we should be learning
That the lesson today is how to bat
But while the captain’s spewing
What the hell was he doing?
All of a sudden we want Tugger back
Cos it’s been a shit season
A real non-season
What were the reasons why played like that?
Tell me why
I don’t like Murali
Tell me why
I don’t like Murali
Tell me why
I don’t like Murali
He’s gonna shoot (shoooot)
The whole side down
Welcome to Other People's Bladder
AFL
A New Beer (Carlton Bitter)
By Rik E Boy
Thursday, 17 January 2002
A New Beer {Carlton Bitter}
We are the navy blues
We're the old, old navy blues
We're the team that plays in fits and starts
We're the rich mob recycling old farts
We think we're still the best
Come on give it a rest
The draft is such a test
And we'll all be drunk and singing
Remember when we were winning?
Welcome to Other People's Bladder
WINTER OLYMPICS
Arsey Bradbury learning fast
By Rik E Boy
Friday, 22 February 2002
Australia's Golden Goose, Steve Bradbury has proven himself to be a quick learner at the Salt Lake City games by qualifying for the 1500 metres speed skating event by the seat of his pants.
After watching his European role models skittle each other in the 1000 metres event, our Steve decided that falling arse over tit was the way to gain true respect in the world of speed skating.
'Winning Gold isn't enough', said Australia's favourite Jag artist, 'I had to prove that I am serious athlete by showing that I could fall flat on my arse as well as the best of them!'
And so it came to pass as Steve was skating on thin ice in the 1500 qualifying session. With ten metres to go he was no longer a blade runner and the skid marks were clear for all to see as he slid over the line to qualify for the semi finals of the event.
Sponsorship dollars are pouring in from Bonds who are keen to show the world the resilience of their product as demonstrated by Australia's favourite fall guy. Apparently, they are keen to cover his arse in the event of any slip up.
Meanwhile, former Winter Olympic cult hero - Eddie the Eagle has been spotted breaking barbiturates with Bruce McAvaney, as both are clearly yesterday's men.
However, challenges still await Steve Bradbury, who has to find a way to trail the field, fall over AND qualify for the 500 metres event. Word has it that Golfing pisspot, John Daly has been approached by Bradders as a coach who can help him do both.
This is Marcus Myword wondering if ice-skating is all it's cracked up to be....
Welcome to Other People's Bladder
AFL
Filandia bites off more than he can chew!
By Rik E Boy
Wednesday, 1 May 2002
Former Sydney rover, Peter Filandia is lucky not to have ended up in the shit after he proved to be incredibly accurate while munching on Springvale player Chad ‘Nobby’ Davis’ nuts.
Many followers have objected to Filandia’s method of having a ball after Davis staggered out of the pack clutching and counting his aggots and many Springvale players are suggesting that Filandia should have been given the sack. The reporting umpire stated that ‘the incident happened at a ball up and all of a sudden there was a ball down!’.
Disgraced thugby player, John Hopoate leapt to Filandia’s defence, claiming that like him, Filandia has been ‘fingered for a crime he didn’t commit. He was merely doing a ball and all tackle’, exclaimed the digitally enhanced one. When asked to speak in his own defence, Filandia stated the charges were ‘bollocks….hang on, let me rephrase that!’
According to Chad Davis he had fallen on Filandia's face and when Filandia said ' get out of my face' , Davis replied 'bite me'.
Davis was taken up the race and given a Tetanus shot, sparking off wild speculation that Filandia’s teeth may in fact be rusty. “ Mate I don’t know what was worse, the bite or the bloody needle!†Davis said, off the record. Oops!
Davis has been unfairly dealt with in more ways that one when one commentator offered the comment ‘ he was a bit stiff not to get a free there’. It was also rumoured that Davis intended to give Filandia a tip but the umpires thankfully intervened and VFL football can once again be described as suitable family entertainment.
This is Marcus Myword who for once is happy he didn’t make the grade….