Things that make you laugh

[Lightning McQueen]

Your mum still loves ya!

Plus you contribute daily on here so your good work doesn’t go unnoticed completely

Quiet achiever on here, he's won the star pupil for the day many times IMO.

[Trader]

Don't be so negative.
It's good that she's proud of her family.

I have a job where I spend 7.6 hours doing all I can to pretend to be working without actually doing anything useful. I am not proud of what I do, nor is anyone I know talking up my contributions to a productive society.

Mate, I've just heard it for years and know them well outside of these walls and it's nothing like it's put across.

Yeah you're right. I've thought about it a bit more and changed my mind.
She is deliberately misleading people in an effort to make herself feel superior to others. She's nothing more than a passive bully trying to make others feel bad about their own failures in life. Calling her pond scum would be offensive to ponds.
Society would be better off if she put herself in a 14 day self quarantine.

[Trader]

A woman at work when it comes to describing her son and husband's jobs.

There's been a few doozies over the years when people have asked.

"What does your son do?"
"He umpires AFL" is her reply. (He is a boundary umpire in the ammo's).
"He's a security guard" was another. (He checks peoples temps with a temp gun as they enter a work site).

"What does you husband do?
"He's a lab technician" was todays reply. (He works for a soil testing company).

Don't be so negative.
It's good that she's proud of her family.

I have a job where I spend 7.6 hours doing all I can to pretend to be working without actually doing anything useful. I am not proud of what I do, nor is anyone I know talking up my contributions to a productive society.

Your mum still loves ya!

Plus you contribute daily on here so your good work doesn’t go unnoticed completely

Shucks! Thanks Dude.

[amber_fluid]

A woman at work when it comes to describing her son and husband's jobs.

There's been a few doozies over the years when people have asked.

"What does your son do?"
"He umpires AFL" is her reply. (He is a boundary umpire in the ammo's).
"He's a security guard" was another. (He checks peoples temps with a temp gun as they enter a work site).

"What does you husband do?
"He's a lab technician" was todays reply. (He works for a soil testing company).

Don't be so negative.
It's good that she's proud of her family.

I have a job where I spend 7.6 hours doing all I can to pretend to be working without actually doing anything useful. I am not proud of what I do, nor is anyone I know talking up my contributions to a productive society.

Your mum still loves ya!

Plus you contribute daily on here so your good work doesn’t go unnoticed completely

Shucks! Thanks Dude.

[Lightning McQueen]

Yeah you're right. I've thought about it a bit more and changed my mind.
She is deliberately misleading people in an effort to make herself feel superior to others. She's nothing more than a passive bully trying to make others feel bad about their own failures in life. Calling her pond scum would be offensive to ponds.
Society would be better off if she put herself in a 14 day self quarantine.

My ears would love it.

[Failed Creation]

A woman at work when it comes to describing her son and husband's jobs.

There's been a few doozies over the years when people have asked.

"What does your son do?"
"He umpires AFL" is her reply. (He is a boundary umpire in the ammo's).
"He's a security guard" was another. (He checks peoples temps with a temp gun as they enter a work site).

"What does you husband do?
"He's a lab technician" was todays reply. (He works for a soil testing company).

I know this belongs in another thread too, but...

I can't stand people who call footy 'AFL'.

It's like me saying I played NBL or Sheffield Shield.

[Lightning McQueen]

A woman at work when it comes to describing her son and husband's jobs.

There's been a few doozies over the years when people have asked.

"What does your son do?"
"He umpires AFL" is her reply. (He is a boundary umpire in the ammo's).
"He's a security guard" was another. (He checks peoples temps with a temp gun as they enter a work site).

"What does you husband do?
"He's a lab technician" was todays reply. (He works for a soil testing company).

I know this belongs in another thread too, but...

I can't stand people who call footy 'AFL'.

It's like me saying I played NBL or Sheffield Shield.

Yeah, we've flogged that one before for memory with a range of puns like someone was heading out to play NBA as they were off to shoot some hoops.

[The Bedge]

A woman at work when it comes to describing her son and husband's jobs.

"He's a security guard" was another. (He checks peoples temps with a temp gun as they enter a work site).

We have a dude who does temp checks at work and he legit acts like he's a bouncer.. stops people, makes them wait, gives them direction.. and he wears an entry pass with "security" on it

Takes his job far too seriously.

[Lightning McQueen]

A woman at work when it comes to describing her son and husband's jobs.

"He's a security guard" was another. (He checks peoples temps with a temp gun as they enter a work site).

We have a dude who does temp checks at work and he legit acts like he's a bouncer.. stops people, makes them wait, gives them direction.. and he wears an entry pass with "security" on it

Takes his job far too seriously.

Probably the same banana, reminds me of Paul Blart.

It's pretty funny, the husband always bags me with his opening line whenever he see's me, it's like duck season just opened after that, I have plenty of ammo and I don't hold back, the dude was wearing braces one night and he started on me about a bit of pink on my shirt.

[Pseudo]

A woman at work when it comes to describing her son and husband's jobs.

"He's a security guard" was another. (He checks peoples temps with a temp gun as they enter a work site).

We have a dude who does temp checks at work and he legit acts like he's a bouncer.. stops people, makes them wait, gives them direction.. and he wears an entry pass with "security" on it

Takes his job far too seriously.

I bet he wears a WESLO shirt at SANFL grounds on weekends in winter.

[Wedgie]

Some of the dodgy characters who visit the front bar I work at on a Friday arvo.

[DOC]

Does he have Vili's pasty crumbs on his shirt?

[Corona Man]

Some of the dodgy characters who visit the front bar I work at on a Friday arvo.

The dodgy just doubled!

[Wedgie]

Front bar regulars are having a ball as someone's left their credit card behind the bar with me!

[Corona Man]

Front bar regulars are having a ball as someone's left their credit card behind the bar with me!

Haha it’s a work credit card.... plus I was entertaining a VIP customer.

[Corona Man]

Change of topic...

Meeting son in the city for dinner tonight.

Been back to hotel quick shower and change of clothes.

Called in to the an old watering hole the Union in Waymouth street to replenish fluids.

Minding my own business at the bar and a few old boilers who may or may not have had 1 to many see my shirt (Vic Veterans Cricket) and say to me, oh Thankyou for your service..... pardon I reply.... your service in the war..... war, WTF are you talking about. Then the penny drops.... I say war, **** that I’m a cricketer, not a bloody hero. Enjoy your evening ladies.

[Wedgie]

Was great to meet you Corona Man and good to catch up with Booney, would be good to do it when I'm not working next time and share a few more stories.

[Corona Man]

Was great to meet you Corona Man and good to catch up with Booney, would be good to do it when I'm not working next time and share a few more stories.

Likewise mate.

[Dutchy]

My facebook newsfeed being littered with amateur footy player signings across the state from one platform, the best one yet was a Para Hills FC signing yet the dude has never played football before.

I dont mind the new signings if they are A grade players, always interesting to see who has recruited and where they have recruited from, however the re-signings just reek of clubs that are very insecure and a massive waste of time.

[Magellan]

Sam Newman and Don Scott are suing photographer Wayne Ludbey for defamation in the Federal Court. Nicky Winmar and Ludbey sued them earlier this year over podcast comments regarding the iconic 1993 photograph of Winmar lifting his jersey and pointing at his torso.

They claim Ludbey’s interviews with ESPN, Daily Mail, Yahoo and nine.com.au about the podcast, during which he called them “three stooges” and “dickheads”, portrays them as “bullies” and “reprehensible people” who used their podcast to “strategically racially vilify Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people in order to make money for themselves”.

The statement of claim prepared by Simon Wilson QC says prior to Ludbey’s comments Newman and Scott “enjoyed good reputations throughout Australia”.

https://www.theage.com.au/national/you-cannot-be-serious-newman-heads-back-to-court-20201213-p56n3l.html